To mine …
I am thankful for you three who have spoken mom, mum, momma to me since your lips and tongue could first form the word.
You three are precious gifts to me (and your dad).
I am your mom. I write those words with pride in my heart, for I do not wish to ever take this gift of your life for granted. Each inhale and exhale from your lungs is a gift, one that I had little to do with.
I gave you so little. DNA, a place to grow (both from within as well as after you were born), nourishment, love … all of the basic building blocks, the scaffolding from which you grew, developing the person who you are today, who you will be in all of your tomorrows. It’s not nothing, but in the totality of a human life, what I provided for you was embryonic.
I think, if I were to look back with honesty and openness, I would have to admit that my initial reason for wanting each of you was totally and completely selfish. I wanted you because I wanted to mother you. And I am so very thankful that you three were who I given to fulfil this selfish desire. My hope is that, in my selfishness I also have given you more than just the task of meeting my desire …
I hope that I have given you a desire to fulfill your hopes and dreams. I hope that I have given you a need to be the best you that you can possibly be.
As each of you has walked into adulthood, I have realized how very selfish we moms can be, when it comes to our children. Though you may not live under my roof, I still want to have opportunity to mother you, to love on you all, to be a part of your futures. The thing is, I realize that when it is all about what I want for and from you, then our relationship is still about my desires and not about releasing you to make your choices, to live in the freedom of making your own path.
Even in your celebration of me today, this day is not about what I deserve as your mom, but it is about who you are choosing to be, as adults, irrespective of how I mothered you. For today you choose how and if to celebrate and that reflects not on me, but on each of you and how you choose to live your lives.
I don’t want you three to be mirror images of me … not in how I look, how I live, how I think. I want each of you to be a better human, a better soul than me. I want you to make your choices, willing to live with the good, bad and ugly that come from them.
And I do hope you will share your experiences and learning with me. That you will allow me to celebrate with the good, cry with the bad … knowing that I will pray for you through it all.
For your every breath has been in the hands of your Creator, it is His gift. He have overseen every day of your existence. My goal has, is and will always be to remind you of that, of Him. For it is only in and through Him that you can truly be the best and most free you.
itsawonderfilledlife 