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Posts Tagged ‘numbers 6’

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Although he is over 4000 kilometers away, I want to honor the man who has taught me some of the most important things in my life.

As he celebrates, and is celebrated on this 70th birthday, I feel the distance of the miles between us, profoundly.

I come from a birthday, anniversary, holiday, visitor, graduation, etc. celebrating family. Any event that exists, or can be created, is a good excuse to get together for a meal. A seventieth birthday is a huge reason for celebration, for food, for cake, for presents … presence.

Rather than dwell on that which cannot be accomplished, I will share that which has already been accomplished thanks to the man who chose to take me as his own … daughter.

The best gift my dad has given to me starts with his name. When I was two years old. When he was asking my mother to marry him. He had one condition … that he would not just give his name to my mother, but that he would give his name to me. And so, the wedding preparations and the adoption process began. Thank-you for giving me your name.

My dad also gave me the unconditional love of a father. There has never been a day or experience when I have ever felt that I am not fully his daughter. He was naturally able to hug and discipline me … as though it was our shared blood that got under his skin … and into his heart.

He showed me what passion was, and wasn’t. He worked more jobs that paid the bills than fed his soul, but when he was doing something with passion, he did it with every fiber within him. I remember him counting down the years until he could retire, when working at one passionless job, and now he is seventy, and showing no signs of fully giving up the job that he loves.

He was always honest with me … whether I wanted to hear it or not. He told me when our cat died, when our dog needed to be put down, when I was wrong, when I wasn’t doing my best at school, when I didn’t call often enough. He told me when he was angry at my mom, my brothers … me. He told me … with not a word, of how lost he felt when his mom, my grandmother died. He told me he loved me.

My dad is who he is … and if you don’t like him, that is not something he will lose sleep over. He does not exist for the purpose of impressing others or becoming who he is not. He is who he is … like it or lump it!

My dad is a good man, and I have many fond childhood memories centered around him …

clams in the pasta meal
dancing with me before heading out to a dance with my mom
buying blue satin shorts for me because I said that everyone would have them walking where you grew up while you told childhood stories
warm from the oven biscuits
keeping score for your minor softball teams
Christmas shopping for mom
allowing me to help install a Gyproc ceiling for my bedroom
teaching me how to make snow angels
Chinese buffets

and so many more lasting memories!

Dad, I wish you a happy birthday. I wish you a day of feeling loved, appreciated, cared for and of thanksgiving.

There is not much more I can say, that goes beyond the words of Moses :

“The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
 the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.”

Numbers 6:24-26

Other than, I love you.

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Ugh! As I write this I feel as though my body is the shape of a weeble (remember “weebles wobble but they don’t fall down?”). I had one too many servings of Tim’s chips (what was I thinking when I bought them?), before eating a sizable amount of dinner! I could have auditioned for that children TV character of Rolie Polie Olie!

I wasn’t hungry … yet I was empty

They didn’t fill … yet they over-filled

(this seems appropriate to be posted the day after Halloween!)

emotional-eatingAlthough I might look like a poster child for emotional eating, I rarely eat emotionally … I just love food, and my ‘satiated’ button has simply never worked right!

This particular day, I felt empty and looked for sustenance from all the wrong places. The result was a bloated mid section, nasty heartburn, and guilt because … I knew better than to eat physically, hoping to fill myself emotionally.

I headed to the shower, to allow the hot water to warm my cold inner core. I started warm, and I gradually decreased the flow of cold. No matter how hot the water, no matter how warm my skin, the shivers continued internally.

The food that would not fill

The heat that would not warm

It was not until I sat to read what the blogging world sent me that day, that I started to warm, and fill by the simple reminder of what I want … what we need most.

“The whole of our life is this one unspoken prayer to God: “I will not let you go until you bless me.”
Bless me. I will wrestle You – until You bless me.
I won’t rest until I find grace, until I believe that even I am beloved.
Because the truth is:
No one can bless themselves.
We live like we can bless ourselves – but our souls know we can only rest when we know we are blessed by God …
… Everybody is just a brave beggar looking for a blessing …
There isn’t anybody who isn’t starved for a word of blessing.”
(www.aholyexperience.com) Ann Voskamp

“There isn’t anybody who isn’t starved for a word of blessing”

The need to be blessed did not die with the story of Jacob and Easu … that is an innate need placed into us from the time of the creation of man and woman. We need to be blessed, we need to be affirmed, accepted, and loved.

The need for blessing reminds me of my most favorite blessing in the Bible. I recited it to each of our three kids when they were babies, and we used it when we had them dedicated. It is, perhaps, something that we all should remember, and recite when we feel empty, for it is the reminder that the Creator of all loves us and has lay his hand of blessing on us.

‘“The Lord bless you
    and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
    and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
    and give you peace.”

Numbers 6:24-26

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