Posts Tagged ‘Princess’

“She stopped playing their song

when she realized

she was dancing alone.”

Boris Pasternak

I discovered this quote one day as I was ‘feeling the pain’ of heartbreak of a woman friend. She was feeling so deceived, so hurt, so exposed, so … alone. And the quote seemed to describe perfectly the experience and emotions that she was feeling. And most of us, who have loved and lost, have felt those same emotions.

We women have such definite dreams of happily ever after. Our society, our being female, has so programmed us to dream of, seek and hold on to the hope of that elusive prince on a white horse. For some, we have found him. For some, once he kissed us at the alter, his amphibian-nature became apparent. For some, ‘he’ is still to be found. For some ‘he’ is never found.

Why do we seek the prince so, and what is it that we hope to find within him, that we need so desperately?

Maybe it is his presence, his aura. That statuesque quality of his body or his being.

Maybe it is his attention, his dotting and lavishing of his resources on us.

Maybe it is the security, the protection of one stronger, one physically larger than us (is it okay to say this, in our day of being independent females?)

Maybe it is the availability of a spider-killer, jar-opener, top shelf-reacher, foot-massager.

Maybe it is the desire to recreate and nurture life with another.

Maybe, just maybe it is the desire to be cared for unconditionally by another, who will love and be devoted to us …

even when we get a bad haircut,

or grow stretch marks,

or lose our girlish loveliness,

or lose our cool,

or our body parts migrate south,

or we tweeze more frequently under our chin than under our eyebrows,

or, or, or …

Does the prince really exist?

I do not know if THE prince does exist.

I do not know if every lady, has a knight waiting for her.

But, I do know the King, and he very much wants to provide the security, the love, the caring, the presence and the attention that we all so desperately desire, want and need.

I wish I could wipe the tears, and mend the tears in the hearts of the heartbroken, but my efforts and my words will never fill the brokenness. Only the king can do that.

And when a woman is able to accept his love and mercy, it is then that she has become the princess … no longer in waiting.


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Oh how I love this song … when I hear it, I think of miracles. You see, my eldest daughter is a bit (those who know her realize just how much of an understatement that it) of a Cinderella. As, a matter of fact, the theme of her 17th birthday party was ‘Disney Princesses’. And she, as Cinderella, hosted her ‘dressed princessy’ friends to the ball … but I digress.

So, the song reminds me of a miracle. The miracle is, that between his love for his daughter, and her love of all things princess, my hubby dances with his first born princess to this very song. Now how, you ask, is this a miracle? Ya gotta know my hubby! Dancing is one sacrifice he is not normally willing to make! He has no interest in dancing, at all, period. I think I could count, on two hands, how many times he has danced with me in our eons of marriage. Sometimes he ‘pretends’ to dance in public, mocking himself as he moves in a manner similar to the groundhog in the movie ‘Caddyshack’.

But, I digress …

There is something so sweet about dancing with your dad, papa, daddy, pops … whatever you call him, to dance with your father IS to be princess, even if that one dance at the ball is 2:42 long. To dance with your father is to dance with the prince of the kingdom.The only kingdom a little girl knows of.

I remember dancing with my dad one time. I was in elementary school (aka the years of princesses), and my parents were preparing to go to a dance at the local high school (when you are from a ‘village’ of about 1600 people, there is only one high school). My mom (probably late … Mom, you know it’s true) was still making herself beautiful, and my dad was listening to the music on their ‘K-Tel’ album, playing on the ‘record’ player (oh, how old I am). And, although I cannot remember who initiated for sure, we were dancing together. Me and my dad. My memory is vivid of being transported to the castle, dressed in a beautiful gown, dancing with my prince …

And that memory made me believe that dreams do come true. That there was a prince for me (other than my dad), that, one day I would wear a gown and be held by my prince, and live happily ever after. It is a memory of such a significant event, that it ‘fed’ the princess within, to grow, to hope to dream for something even beyond my imagination.

Every little girl needs a memory like this … of dancing with her dad, or whoever her living prince is. She needs this memory, like she needs food, and education, and ‘stuff’ … probably more than education ‘stuff’  😉 A little girl needs the model of a strong, protective, loving prince, so that when she is sought out by the frogs and toads of life, she will be able to recognize the dance of a prince among them. My hubby has had very big shoes to fill, and my daughters future princes will have big ones to fill as well.

But the dance is not just for ‘Cinderella’ or ‘Belle’ or ‘Beauty’ or “Ariel’. No, it is as much for good old Prince Daddy, as for the Princess. It’s just that, dad’s, you forget, what the prince never knew, while she is still in your arms …

“Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight, and she’ll be gone”

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Fairy tales are to girls what big truck shows are to boys … they grab their attention from beginning to end, they amaze the viewer and make them think that what they see and hear is actually attainable reality … it is not.

Fairy tales are just that, they are the tales, or stories, that include imaginary characters such as fairies, or dwarfs, or talking mice, or flying carpets. They are, from their very name, made up stories, full of made up characters, and made up endings.

If I were to write a fairy tale it would be different, and probably not as widely read, or made into a major motion picture. Little girls would not wear t-shirts of the princess, or have her coloring book, night lights and video games. No, the ‘fairy’ parts would be absent. But, the ending would, in all honesty, be better than any starry-eyed little girl could ever imagine.

Here is my version (we will call it the Carole’s Notes Version):

Once upon a time …

In a land not too far away, lived a young woman with many dreams in her head. She dreamed of her future every day, and went to the King daily to ask him to lead her in the direction he had for her, and for the strength to do all that she needed to do in order to fulfill those dreams. She knew that the fulfillment of her dreams was reliant on her, and her trust in the wisdom of the King. She knew that she would have to work hard, stay focused and not expect for her dreams to just fall into her lap.

She knew that her goals could only be obtained by first getting a good education, so she studied her best and worked at her school work as if it were her job.

This princess was one who worked hard at all that she did, but she also played hard, knew how to have fun and how to relax.

She also knew that her goals could not be obtained without the support of good friends … girl friends and boy friends. These relationships would be chosen ones, ones that encouraged her to be a better person, as well as relationships of sharing the experiences of growing up. Romance was not in the cards for her at this point in her life, because she knew that it would only serve to divert her attention from the goals set out for her by her own mind, and by the King.

The princess made efforts to be helpful and kind to those around her. She tried to treat others fairly and with mercy. She acknowledged that she was given much in her life, and she needed to share what she had with others.

Throughout her life, the princess pursued her dreams, and relied on the King, but doing good and living right did not always prevent bad, disappointing and sad things from happening in her life. When she was just a young woman her mother died. She did eventually meet a Prince of a man, and marry him, and they shared a deep love, but marriage, she found was not an easy thing, and there were times when she wished she had not married him (and times when she could tell her prince wished the same of his marriage to her). There were times when the pressures of paying the bills for their castle bungalow just about smothered the princess. The couple had children who they loved, but who did not always look, act or smell nice.

Life was not happily ever after for the princess, despite her best efforts at living well, but she did live a life of joy, always thanking the king for all that she had.

When she reached her later years, she was still seeking the wisdom of the King every day. He was the focus of her days, He was the anchor that kept her where she was, and heading in the same direction. He was her focus …

And when she was breathing her last, she heard the voice of the King whisper into her soul, “well done, good and faithful servant, come and share your King’s happiness” (Matthew 25:23) … and there, in that kingdom, she lived, happily ever after.

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Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away …

So starts a typical fairy tale, in a typical fairy tale way. It’s predictable beginning leads into the duress of a princess, and the lengths that the prince will go to save her, and to save the kingdom from a dark and evil force. The ending is always the same … and they all lived happily ever after.

Now THAT sounds like my kind of kingdom … well, except for the dark and evil force bit.

Life, real life, is not like a fairly tale. In our real lives we are not all princes and princesses. In real life we are the common folk of the kingdom. We do the work, through blood, sweat and tears, so that the royal family might live, not as they deserve, but as part of their blessing from being in the right bloodline.

Over the past year I have been learning about the kingdom.

It all started with a simple question, one that all in that kingdom (society) at that time would have been able to answer. This question came from ones who knew the answer, but … they asked anyway … maybe they thought that his sovereign had a different perspective from the rest in the kingdom?

The question was, “who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom (of heaven)?”

Any of us who grew up on fairy tales could answer that one! Why the king of the kingdom is of course the greatest.

This man with royal blood flowing through his human veins flipped the kingdom on it’s royal backside. He brings a child into the middle of this group of royal watchers. In this kingdom, a child was … JUST a child (kind of like, for my hubby, the beast is JUST a dog). A child, in the time of this tale, would have no rights, no possessions … a child WAS a possession.

So, this robe wearing man said:

“I’m telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you’re not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God’s kingdom. What’s more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it’s the same as receiving me.”

I am thinking that those kingdom quizzers were wishing that they had just stuck to simple questions at this point. Or maybe, they thought that they had asked a simple question?

Their royal leader had just turned their kingdom (societal) norms on their backsides! How could a grown man (woman) return to childhood? Who would want to? But, if they did not, they would be stuck on the outskirts of the kingdom, with the drawbridge forever pulled up.

This royal leader, Jesus, turned the kingdom, the world, up-side-down with his redevelopment plan of the kingdom. The blueprints he was drawing were nothing like the originals … he had gone back to square one.

And that is what He, the king who sits on the throne, asks of us … to allow ourselves to be re-created, re-fashioned, re-born into a new creation. He has fought the dark and evil forces that have lulled us into a lifetime of dreamless sleep. Now, we are invited to be awakened by the kiss of the king, into a life as heirs of the kingdom.

We become the princes and princesses of the fairy tale. And, after a lifetime of loving, and working, and struggling, and stress, and pressures, and heartaches … we will eventually live,

happily ever after.

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