A loved one said something to me that I received as I might receive a blow to the gut. She spoke her understanding of who I am as a compliment. Though I know that she wasn’t intending it to be hurtful that is exactly how I heard it.
So, what was said to me that got my knickers so knotted?
“But you are resilient”
I do not remember what words I said, but I can remember the frustration rising up within me.
As I look back now I understand that it was said with affection and appreciation. But, at the time, I heard it very differently. I heard what sounded like, “you were born resilient.”
Resilience is like elasticity of emotional response. It is to keep going even when faced with obstacles. It is to spring back up after being beaten down. It is looking for the light in the middle of the darkness.
“Positive people also have negative thoughts.
They just don’t let it control them.”
-unknown
Though the experts on resilience seem to be split on whether resilience is a natural trait or a learned one, I would say it could certainly be natural … but that doesn’t mean that it develops without effort.
Resilience is born out of bruises, failures, bad news, hurts, heartbreaks, tears and sorrows. It is an emotional muscle, one that must be exercised to grow.
It is an act of self survival, not born out of Pollyanna positivity, but from a personal awareness of the dark that exists and the peril that is present.
It is because of this awareness of disaster that could follow, that one practises resilience, rising from ashes, eyes focused on the light, the good, the positive … as an act of self-survival.
If, when we are faced with the tough stuff of life, we spend too much time within our dark problems, our struggles then we will be accepting the darkness they bring as part of our identities … we will be claiming victim as part of our name.
We all have dark and sad and tough events and things done to us that we did not bring on ourselves, but we all have the choice in how we respond to these dark and twisty events and realities.
Acknowledge your pain
(cry, mend the wounds)
then,
get up,
dust yourself off,
adjust your crown
and keep on keeping on.
You and I are children of the King … we may be afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) and we can do all things through Christ because he gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).
We don’t walk through our lives alone.
itsawonderfilledlife 