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It Matters Who You Marry

Posted in WONDER, tagged choosing who to marry, dating, it matters who you marry, Rebecca VanDoodewaard, teen girls, Teens, the christian pundit on June 18, 2013| 8 Comments »

A number of weeks back I read an article titled, as this post is titled, “It Matters Who You Marry,” and as I read it I I found my head nodding in agreement with the message it presented.

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Working in a high school I see the budding of ‘love’ down every hallway I walk. I see girls admiring the guys who can entertain a crowd, who have fancy cars and fancy clothes, the guys who are amazing athletes and who are ‘cute.’ As an older ‘girl’ with a few more years life (and fat cells) under my belt, I find myself shaking my head as I view the sights. I wish that there were some way of communicating to these girls that the pattern of their interest in guys now, will create a template for their life partner choice later down the road.

But, I know that for most of us, it is experience that is the best teacher. And so I just hope that they learn it young, and that the experience does not break them totally. I hope too that for each one, there might be a person who will speak into their lives with love, and grace, and gentleness … and honesty.

I encourage you to click on the link, following a portion of the article, written by Rebecca VanDoodewaard (RVD). Maybe it will encourage you to be that person in the life of a young woman, who helps her through the minefield of choosing who to date … and why.

“My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.”

Click on The Christian Pundit to keep reading.

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Old to New: The Weight Loss DiaBLOG – Week 7

Posted in Weight Loss DiaBLOG, women, WONDER, tagged accountability, biking, Change, diaBLOG, diet, losing weight, myfitnesspal, Old to New, pounds, self confidence, self perception, Struggle, Swimming, teen girls, weight, Weight Loss on August 20, 2012| 4 Comments »

This past week started with great enthusiasm to get back to walking, and to eat more healthy. Then I got sick … the walking didn’t happen much. One day when sick I did well to walk from the kitchen for more water then back to the living room to lie on the couch.

So, week seven and I have re-lost the three pounds that I had gained, and am now holding firm … well, actually there is little on me that is firm, but I am heading in that direction!

I was told once that we have two choices as we age, we can either be wrinkle free or thin, but not both. I am opting for the wrinkles (although if I actually achieve my l o n g term goals a little plastic surgery nip and tuck … heck, more like yank and fold … might be necessary).

As we have been experiencing a heat wave here in the Pacific Northwest, food is of little interest to me. I have preferred water, Jumbo Freezies (only 100 calories for a Jumbo one, and no fat), and raw vegetables and fruit. So, once it all digests I expect to be pretty much a stick person!

I am not sure about those of you who are in this lifestyle change with me, but I have reached a bit of a plateau. Not physically, but mentally. I feel a bit like my mental get up and go attitude has gotten up and gone.

What do you do when you reach this point? How do you get the desire to keep going back? I would love your input!

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Old to New: The Weight Loss DiaBLOG – Week 6

Six weeks down and … what was lost has been found … in the form of 3 pounds … 😦

The effects of vacation, and more so, returning from vacation, have amounted to a gain … sigh.

It is not depressing me, as I was anticipating it. Just last night, after polishing off a bowl of Reeces Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (I didn’t buy it, it was just there in the freezer calling my name … I am SO weak), I remembered that the next day was weigh day … too late. I have not continued walking since getting home (much to the chagrin of my beast), and I have not eaten with awareness of what I am putting in my mouth. So, I now live with the consequences of my actions … and my ACTIONS must be better next week!

So, since my recovery from vacation (and bacon) is still in process, I thought I would spend the blog post today on a subject that is close to my heart, and still pertinent to the goal of moving from our old selves to our new self.

The subject is that of the self perception of women in regards to their appearance. Check out this video:

I do believe that this video, were it shot in another city (perhaps where you or I live) and with different women (perhaps with you or I … and our friends) the results would be the same. We struggle to see anything good about our bodies.

What I wish had been done is to include a portion of video of young girls (before the onset of puberty), and asking them the same question. I have a good feeling that their responses would have been quick and that they would have been able to identify numerous things that they love about their body.

What is it that changes in the self perception of females as we grow from child to adult?

See what these girls have to say:

So, how old do you think that first girl is?

How sad, how very sad. Especially since the place (school) that most teens spend most of their waking hours is the place where the negative messages are communicated to them on a regular basis. The pack (like a wolf pack) mentality reigns, and the weak can become trampled. For those of us who work within schools it is vital that we speak constant words of affirmation to the girls in our classes, and who we pass in the halls. Our affirmations might be the only positive message that a girl might hear all day, and we need to be the agents of change for the next generation. For those of us who know girls in any context (our daughters, their friends, at church, in community groups, at the grocery store, the daughters of our friends, etc.).

The self-perception of our next generation of girls could be one of the most effective ways to deal with weight-related health issues in the next generation. If a girl can feel comfortable with her body, she might be more likely to join in that sport, in that dance, in that swim.

How many of us refuse to bring our swim suit to someone’s home when they invite us for a swim?

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