Teens | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘Teens’

Faux Perfection

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged Adolescents, Beauty, Faux Perfection, Girls, Insecure, Isaiah 43, lies, Perfection, Teens on March 13, 2012| Leave a Comment »

“I am so fat.”

“I am ugly.”

“I hate my nose (substitute any other body part)”

“I am so flat.”

These are the “truths” that many, if not all teen girls believe about themselves. Most often these “truths” are not truths, but lies that have grown from a near microscopic-sized seed, planted by someone else, who had had no idea how immense the growth would be.

The growth of that seed results in the decay and destruction of the heart and soul of young and developing young woman. As it’s lies take root in the young lady, it pushes aside and alters the intended growth and development of that young lady. She becomes something that she was never intended to become. She increases in insecurity, she decreases in her understanding of her own abilities and value. She looses her own self in the lie.

Sometimes the far-reaching growth of these lies completely envelopes her heart, and changes the path of her life. Sometimes it hides deep within her, and the cracks it creates in her soul make it difficult for her to live with herself, even though the damage done is not seen by the eyes of anyone around her. Sometimes, it’s damaging overgrowth forces her to look for ways to escape who she thinks she is, and she does things to her body that can damage her and change her life forever.

Teen girls are the masters of comparison. They compare themselves with other girls. They compare themselves with celebrities on the covers of magazines. They compare themselves with girls who have a guys hand to hold.

As I walk the halls of the high school where I work, the church I attend, the malls where I shop, and the house where I live, I see the eyes of the girls who believe the lies. In those eyes I see the insecurities that have taken root from the lies that have been believed … hook, line and sinker.

It breaks my heart to see these broken vessels. Not because they are not beautiful, but because their ability to see and know their own beauty, their own abilities, has been suffocated by the lies.

If I could tell a teen girl anything, it would be that they are a one in a million gift. That the package that they contain, that they are, is of more value than any rare jewel. That, as they live their life as the precious gift that they are created to be, they are empowered to unwrap each layer of their gift, to reveal the purpose, and passion and beauty that only comes from within.

I would tell them : “Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine. I have loved you with an everlasting love…I hold you in the palm of my hands. In my sight you are precious…do not be afraid I am with you.” Says the Lord God. (Isaiah 43:1-4)

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Insecure Source of Devotion

Posted in GOD, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged Daughter, Devotions, Ephesians 2, Grace, Insecure Source of Devotion, Insecurity, Peers, School, Sin, Teens on March 8, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Sometimes my mouth has a mind that is completely separated from my brain. This particular day was a good case in point.

I work in a Christian High School (as an Educational Assistant). I also work with students who are in the same grade as my younger daughter, so I get to work in classes with students who I have known (as a mom) since these young adults entered kindergarten. When they were in their grade seven year, I worked in their grade as well, while filling in for a co-worker. I know them better than any other grade I have worked in before, and I feel very privileged to walk through high school (I hope) with them.

Sometimes I feel like mom of the grade, because I know them, and their families quite well. I remember some of the ones who had to be pried from their mom on their first day of school. I remember when they had new siblings born to their families, and when loved ones died. I remember when new students joined the group, when they competed in sports, and when they kept me up until 3am the year my daughter insisted that I invite ALL of the girls in her class to her sleep over birthday party (face palm for me for agreeing to that one). I also remember who was nasty to my kid on the playground, and who wiped her tears. These students are all precious to me.

So, on a particular day, early in the work day, the teacher of the first class I was assigned to be in asked a colleague of mine and I if one of us would lead devotions to her grade nine math class. Before my ears had completed the process of hearing and processing her request, my mouth said, “yes.” When my brain heard my voice, I think it wanted to move out. My pulse started racing, my palms got clammy and I experienced what can only be likened to a hot flash.

But, once I sat in front of this class of students, all that mattered to me was sharing the message that has been on my heart for many years. The message of grace.

Over seven years ago, I was at a school event, talking with two men, one about my age and the other in his eighties. We were just chatting, when the subject of heaven came up. The older man got serious, “Heaven is not for me, I’ve been too bad.” His words took me back … he had grown up in a Christian family, gone to Christian school, gone to church all of his life, and he felt that his place in heaven was dependent on his behaviors. Had he not, in eighty plus years of life, not heard of God’s grace? How many Easter services had he sat in? Didn’t he hear, at least once, that Jesus blood is the atonement (payment) for our sins … ALL of our sins?

So, my impromptu devotion for the morning was about this older man. It was about the grace of God, and how HE covers all of our sins. I was able to tell them if there are pious Christian people who make them FEEL that they are not good enough (because of their clothes, or their hair, or the music they listen to, or what ever other ‘important’ outward expression), they are wrong. The reality is that none of us are “good enough” to pass through the gates of heaven, it is only our acceptance of the gift of forgiveness and grace that God offers through the sacrifice of His son, that we are made good enough. I told them that it was that one message that I want them to take through their lives, and into their eighties. That I do not want them to be at the natural end of their lives and think they are not good enough for heaven.

They were respectfully quiet, I just hope their hearts heard this humbly delivered message, from one who hopes deeply that they believe it. And, if they do, my mouth saying yes when my brain felt too insecure, to sharing a devotion with them will be all worth it.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—
and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
not by works, so that no one can boast.
For we are God’s handiwork,
created in Christ Jesus to do good works,
which God prepared in advance for us to do.
But now in Christ Jesus
you who once were far away have been brought near
by the blood of Christ.
Ephesians 2:8-10, 13

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Brand New Hormones

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Brand New Hormones, Growing Up, High School, Hormones, Puppy Love, School, Teen Love, Teenagers, Teens on January 16, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I get to work in a high school … yes, I said “get to”! I also get to work in a few of the classes that my daughter takes.

I have a motherly fondness for many of her friends. Many have been at our home, driven in our vehicles to various events, slept over, made cookies in our kitchen, been cheered on at basketball games by me, and attended countless birthday parties.

I struggle at school with the boys and the girls, and their brand new hormones. I find I watch and listen, and just want to … gag!

I do realize that they are just ‘test driving’ their new thoughts, feelings and awareness. I realize that what they are going through is so very normal and necessary in that age old process known as ‘growing up’. I just wish our society, our culture, did not encourage this process to become so all absorbing all at once.

The girls looking at the boys, and even the boys drooling over the girls can be cute or, as they might say, ‘adorbs’. It is a process of an awakening within them that is starting to burst out into their daily lives. Truly, it is a wonderfilled time in their lives. But, as they grow and mature, their hormones are NOT the best, or the only thing in their lives.

This is also a very important time in their lives for learning, in an academic sense. As important, if not more so at this phase of their lives, is the development and nurture of friendships. This is a great time of life for shooting hoops, all night chat sessions, playing games, dancing to music, and other activities that are surrounded by the peers who a teen calls friends.

My hubby is brilliant (yes, I said that in writing), and that was confirmed for me when he worked as a youth pastor. When a pair of teens in the youth group would start dating he would take them out to lunch, and his conversation with the couple would start with the same question every time, “you WILL break up, and when you do, how will it affect your relationships at youth?” And he was right, because about 98-99% of teen couples do not end up in a lifelong relationship. Should teens invest the majority of their teen years in relationships that are, at best, temporary?

Hubby was really brilliant a number of years ago, as well, when he told our preschool daughter that if she chose to not date in high school, he would buy her a car. This was her choice, not ours! We told her that our hope for her was that she spend her teen years focusing on friends and school, and we were willing to put wheels where our mouth was. But, we left the choice in her hands.

This fall when our eldest daughter got her car, her sister and brother realized that the deal (that we had offered them, as well) was good. All of a sudden, the story they had heard all of their lives, was in view with a happy ending.

And it is a happy ending, beyond the car, because if they take our challenge, they can look back on their high school years as ones of friendship and learning, and those are things that they can take, 100%, into adulthood with them.

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