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Posts Tagged ‘weakness’

Weak Tea

Someone has said that a person’s strength is found when, like a tea bag, you are thrown into boiling hot water.

I would make weak tea.ee34ab1be8ce09f3eed04746a01e50cd

When I am in hot water

well

I simply become

weaker.

I would have made a great first responder, as I do great in stressful situations that pop up out of nowhere. I do not even think, I simply respond, adapting to whatever comes my way. Give me blood and physical brokenness, give me problem-solving, give me an emergency, I would be

clear, calm, cool at a cucumber.

But, the longer I am steeped in the hot water of brokenness in relationships, the weaker I become. I become weak to the point of motionless, lifeless.

As our three kids have grown and gotten older, I sometimes see that they too have been infused with the same weak leaves.

Like their weak mother, a shaky relationship, or conversation can break them, immobilize them making it nearly impossible to think of anything else. Oh, we are all good at compartmentalizing for a little while, but eventually our bag breaks, and our leaves end up sinking to the bottom of the tea cup.

My oldest daughter loves, what I call ‘gourmet’ tea. You know, the kind you buy by the pound, and it is not steeped in a bag, but in a metal diffuser. No leaves get out because of a broken bag. They are protected in their metal cage, and will not be settling to the bottom of the cup.

They are protected by the strength of the diffuser.

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The cloth around those precious tea leaves is what is supposed to hold them together, but it is so thin, so fragile.

To perform best, the leaves need to be surrounded by something stronger, like metal, because we are all infused with weakness.

We too need to recognize that our strength does not come from within ourselves, but what we have surrounding us, protecting us. It is what we are covered, clothed in that provides our strength.

Proverbs 31:25 tells us that “she is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.”

The strength and dignity we have do not come from within, they are what Christ has provided by his love and sacrifice. As children of the Father God, we are protected by His loving hands. It is His hands that provide the strength and dignity that is available to us … but we do not always remember that.

Our own strength is weak, His covering us is what infuses strength.

No milk and sugar are needed.

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Not all agonies are ones that can be shared during a church service, or even a small group meeting. Sure, we can request prayers for those grieving the death of one they loved, or people facing surgeries or disease, we can request prayer when we are searching a new job, or even for a pet who has gone missing, but often the things that rip at our souls are never shared with others, only with our God.

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We might never share those heartaches, but they are so very real.

We cry our tears freely into the depths of the night, and then powder our faces so as to put one foot in front of the other the following morning.

We pour out our broken offerings in the quiet of the night, as we cry out our query from the words of Isaiah (55:10) “if your word does not return to you void, what word did you whisper in my ear?”

I have loved you with an everlasting love …

And we stop, and listen … because those words that our ears heard, our mind, heart and soul cannot imagine that they have truly been said to us. But, again, we hear them …

I have loved you with an everlasting love …

And the tears continue to fall, and the heart continues to ache, but the soul is quieting, because we have heard,

I have loved you with an everlasting love …

We have heard it, and we know that through those words our Creator is with us, seeking us, pursuing us, as a lover seeking his beloved.

The ache is still there, and inside is shaking like that tree out into the dark of the night. Why is that tree swaying as if being controlled by vicious gusts of wind? It is, after all, a still and quiet night? The tall pines and cedars do not shake and sway. It is as though there is a breeze that can only move the weak, the fragile …

I have loved you with an everlasting love …

Do the strong hear those words? Do the powerful hear those words?

I have loved you with an everlasting love …

Or are those words the strength that makes the weak brave enough to shake, to sway, to move?

Is that tree, that one tree among dozens of still and silent trees, a picture of our advocate? Of the One who speaks to the Father on our behalf? Is that fragile tree the metaphorical equal of our faithful prayer group, who is the wind underneath of our weakened arms, whispering to our souls …

I have loved you with an everlasting love …

 

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When things are going good, when life is hiccup-free, when smiles abound there is a lightness to my step and to my soul that opens me up to a carefree spirit. I feel like singing the The Happy Song .

Those times are times of lightness, and freedom, and a feeling that I can do anything!

Then there are the other times. The I just can’t lift my head off the pillow times. The I just want this day to be over before it has barely begun. The days when I feel like Atlas with the weight of the world on my shoulders, except that I do not have the strength that he has.

Those times are times of heaviness, and bondage, and a feeling that I can do nothing.

But …

When things are going well, and I think that I can do anything … I do, and I do it all in my own strength. I am a pretty independent person, and that independent spirit can come back to bite me in the butt. You see, my strength, it’s powered by me, and I do not have endless energy resources, so eventually all of the excitement of ‘I can do it’ fades.

When things are not going so well, and I am overcome with doubts and stresses, it is then that I know I cannot do it alone, and I lean on a far more viable energy source, my Creator God. And it is then that I soar like the eagles (instead of fly with the turkeys), because I have an undercurrent of endless momentum.

It is not an easy thing to do, but I am starting to realize the blessing of heartaches, disappointments and curses that this life inevitably hands over to us. My prayers are changing. I do not pray that God will protect and keep me from the ‘nasties’ of life, because I know that they are around any and every corner. Instead I pray that, through them, I might learn to rely more fully on God to get me through.

Thank you god for the heartaches,
the disappointments,
the fall on my face moments …
They make me cling to You like nothing else.
They make me yell and scream
and be more real more honest with You my Creator.
No joy,
no blessing
can make me yearn for and seek you.
It is only when I am at my weakest,
neediest place
that I fully rely on You,
and You alone.
Amen

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As I was recently walking a student through the story of Samson (Judges 13-16) I was reminded of how inhumanly strong Samson was, physically, and yet how humanly weak he was.

The story begins with a barren, childless couple. Like Mary, the mother of Jesus, this woman is informed by an angelic messenger that she is to give birth to a son who would be part of God’s plan. She is told that she should not drink any alcohol (the first written advise that would eliminate the possibility of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder), and that her son should never have a haircut.

The first recording of Samson’s post-womb life is that he saw a pretty lady and told his parents to get her for him as his wife. They were not so happy, because they were Israelites and she was a Philistine (think Red Sox vs. the Yankees), but they did it.

The story is worth a read, I could see a miniseries or major action film come from this story, mostly because of his desires for the pretty lady. Suffice it to say that many people died.

Then he falls in love with a woman named Delilah, and she is his sweetest downfall.

As the story of Samson progresses, the Philistine rulers offer Delilah a deal she cannot refuse … lots of money if she can find the secret of his strength. She accepts.

Samson meets with Delilah a number of times. Each time she asks him the source of his strength (imagine lots of blinking eyelashes, and pouty faces). Each time he tells her a lie, until the final time when he tells her that the source of his strength is his hair.

He blew it! He, who was set aside God from before he was conceived, blew it for a pretty face (I am sure the attraction did not stop at the face) … again! What happened next is rather ironic, as the Philistines gouged out his eyes … hum, kind of makes me think of Exodus 21:24, “an eye for an eye.” His strength may have been his hair, but his weakness was most certainly his eyes, especially his eye for attractive women.

Samson was shacked and working in the prison. This was the lowest point in his life, but he was finally using his brain rather than his lower extremities to think with.

The Philistines were partying, celebrating, and sacrificing to their god, when they had Samson brought out from the depths to ‘entertain’ them.

Samson saw this humiliation as an opportunity to redeem his life.

He asked the servant who was guiding him to place him between two pillars of the temple, so that he could touch each one. The temple was said to have about three thousand people in and on it. Samson asked God for strength once more. His last words were, “let me die with the Philistines” (16:30), then he pushed with all his might, and the temple came down on all who were there.

Like Jesus, the other angelically announced baby boy, he gave his life, so that others might live. Unlike Jesus, he was fully man, but not also fully God, and his weaknesses are as memorable as his strength. Also, unlike Jesus, his purpose was to redeem his people through physical strength and death. Whereas Jesus purpose was to redeem all people through his loving sacrifice.

Samson was thought to be strong, but was only his strongest when he was weak. Jesus was thought to be weak, but his weakest human point was when he was most strong.

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