Posts Tagged ‘You’re Beautiful’

Today our first born turns twenty! Seriously, I am too young to have a twenty year old!

As her birthday was approaching, my mind has been occupied with thoughts of what to ‘get’ her for her special day. She is on the East Coast, and I on the West, and so whatever I was to get had to be light (and therefore cheap) to send in the mail.

I also was thinking about how we often give the gifts to others, that we wish to be given to us. So, I pondered what my daughter has given me over the years, and that was the key to one of her gifts. Every year she makes a CD of music I love (or music she thinks I should love) for me, and it is simply a perfect gift for me. I love the mystery of hearing what songs she chooses for me, and it is the gift that keeps on giving all year long.

And so, this is my CD to her.

The first song I can remember sharing with you would be Jesus Loves Me. It is the song that each of you kids learned, and hearing that innocent, joyful singing of such profound truth is what I pray is permanently imprinted into your mind, and onto your heart.

Thanks also to Robert Munch, and his book by the same name as the song; love you forever . It was a book that we shared snuggling in bed in the mornings, over mac and cheese, at lunchtime, or at the end of the day, with the scent of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo drifting through the air.

We cannot forget those YEARS of watching many various musical movies, the most memorable would have to be Follow Your Heart from Thumbelina. Oh how the songs of that movie played over and over in my head, day after day, and week after week. Having just listened to it again, I am reminded that it’s message was and is still a good one!

The preteen years continued with the musicals, but none could compare with Anne of Green Gables to give us “lots of scope for the imagination.” But not every song was from a musical … Oh how I remember the song that gave us all “a funny feeling” by that group called Jump 5, Spinnin’ Around. Your dad even drove you two hours from home to attend a concert … now that’s love (and beautiful memories I am sure)!

Into your teen years, the musicals continued, with The Sound of Music being a favorite, and within it’s soundtrack, what teen girl would not want to sing along to Sixteen Going on Seventeen? I think it was sung as much by me as you!

But your teen years were not only about classic movies! A favorite for years was that James Blunt classic, You’re Beautiful. I, who never win anything, was even so lucky to win two tickets to his concert, and off we went, together (one of my favorite memories of us two). This song, I would say was the theme song for you and I during those later teen years. One of my best memories (of parental embarrassment for the laughter of my child) was standing on our front lawn singing it to you, from the top of my lungs. And, my dear, you know only too well that my public singing should be relegated to large crowds only.

And this would not be complete with the Criminal Minds Theme our TV show still (well, when I can stay awake to watch it). That show has provided the foundation of so many great conversations. And of course, the one we do not share, but when I hear it I think of you (and your best friend), Dancing With The Stars.

The most recent addition to our musical history together relates to this season you are now in, and the adventure you are now on. The message of As It Seems is the same as it was a few weeks ago, maybe with even more significance …

There are so many more, and I’ve included a few at the bottom, you know the stories behind them all. These, my adult daughter, are from the Soundtrack of our life together … I think we make beautiful music.

You’re beautiful, it’s true!


What a Wonderful World

God So Loved

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Titanic Theme

The Hockey Song

Gilmore Girls

Just the Way You Are


On the Floor

The Best Day


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Our oldest daughter was a most desired child.

She was not our first child, though. I remember when I found out I was pregnant that first time. I was in a total and complete sense of awe (hubby just kept saying “you realize everyone will know we’ve had sex now” …  the mind of a man is truly a complex simple thing). Very soon after having the pregnancy confirmed, I eagerly prayed to God, with thanksgiving, and promised Him that I would remember that this baby was His first, and in that recognition, I was giving our baby back to Him. I felt like Hannah promising Samuel back to God.

Then, at around eighteen weeks into the pregnancy, the baby died.

One year and a bit later we got the confirmation that I was pregnant again. I felt so thankful, so blessed by God, but I did not offer that baby back to Him (immediately). There have been many times, over her nineteen years, when I have been confronted about the sacrifice that I have held back from God. I have never been directly confronted by individuals, so much as confronted by my own guilt for holding back my daughter from the God who gave her to me. I would be awakened to my guilt when I was reading, or listening to a speaker, or singing a hymn or worship song (try singing “I Surrender All” when in a position of NOT surrendering).

Over her nineteen years I did gradually lay her in the hands of the one who laid her in mine. It was a process, a journey, and I know now that I will be continuing this journey throughout all of my days. There was a pivotal moment a few years ago, when I was confronted with my need to put my words into action. I did speak of it in the past (Do You Love Me?), and that day forced me to lay my mother love, to lay my daughter, on the alter (like Abraham with his son Isaac), and to let God be in control of her life. And I believe that day I did.

That baby is now turning nineteen this weekend. She has grown from a round faced, little girl with Shirley Temple blond curls, to a young woman with a striking sparkle in her eyes. She is intelligent, responsible, and exhibits wisdom in how she thinks, and in how she chooses to live her life. She has never been one to follow the crowd, and she has a mind that is all her own. I am proud of who she is, and how she is living her life. She loves Cinderella, swimming, learning, and coffee shops. She is completely convicted of what she believes in … no half way under that blond curly hair! She believes in black and white, and a few shades of gray. She believes in justice, for all. She loves to follow the lives of Mother Teressa and the Kardashians (?). She dreams of the Mediterranean and of shoe sales.

I am blessed to be her Mummy. She is the child who first introduced me to birth, and of living outside of my own body and being. She acquainted me with the wonders that innocence can more easily see. She can make me think and re-think like no other on this planet. She still invites me into her joys, and her sorrows as she opens up her heart to me.

What I wish for her is that she would continue with the foundation she has behind her, and reach with joy and humor and eagerness and faith and wonder toward whatever is to come.

I can not pretend to know what the future holds for her, but I know who is holding her as she ventures towards and through it. And, because I chose to laid her there, I know that she is in good hands.

My dear, you are beautiful, it’s true.

Mummy 😉

Jesus looked at them and said,

“With man this is impossible,

but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26

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