Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged Control Freak, Faith, Fear., Hope, Isaiah 43, Surprises, Waiting on November 1, 2011|
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Hi, my name is Carole, and I am a control freak. Those who know me well (family, no comment is needed, I am admitting the reality you live with here in print … again Control Freak) this comes as no surprise, and for the rest of you … it comes as no surprise … sigh.
Speaking of surprises, I do not like them. I am not fond of even good, or nice surprises (although if Canada Revenue would like to finish hubby’s tax return and send us a cheque before the end of the year, I could be very fond of that surprise … just sayin’), and I am definitely not fond of bad or negative surprises (like our car driving itself down our driveway and planting itself into our sweet neighbor’s planter … sigh).
What is even worse than surprise, to a control freak, is waiting. Being a control freak and being deficient in patience seem to me to go together perfectly
.
I never so keenly notice my undiagnosed ADD as when I am in a place of waiting. If people could see what goes on inside of me while I am waiting in a line at the grocery store, waiting for the end of a boring meeting, waiting for others to get their act together (and do what I want them to do), or waiting for my favorite Wednesday night TV show to come on (
Criminal Minds) most would be very surprised at how chaotic and troubled it is in that mind of mine.
I hate having to wait!
When I am in a state of ‘waiting’ then my greatly over-gifted imagination kicks into high gear, and that is not a good thing! I can imagination all sorts of possible problems or curses or other bad things that might happen, because if I am waiting, I am not in control, and if I am not in control, then how can God know what to do next?
Really that is the core of my problem … I seem to think that God needs my help. He doesn’t, He just needs my obedience and my faith in His control of the situation. So, I will do my best today to place the reigns back in His nail scarred hands.
“Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.
I have loved you with an everlasting love…I hold you in the palm of my hands.
In my sight you are precious…do not be afraid I am with you.” Says the Lord God
Isaiah 43, 1-4
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