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Posts Tagged ‘Surprises’

I love to know what is next … how the movie or book ends, what is planned for tomorrow, where our next vacation will be, what renovation we will do next on our home. I am into certainty. I plan our meals for a couple of weeks in advance, I countdown to holidays, I scour home stores for ideas to duplicate in our home (I rarely have any time to actually do them), and I sometimes read the last page of the novel before starting it (although I always find it is pointless, because it never seems to tell me anything anyway).

Life, though, is not full of certainty, but uncertainty.

There are hiccups to plans, there are changes in schedules, there are twists in the road, and there are surprises around every corner. The only thing I am truly certain of is that nothing in life is for certain.

I learned this a few years back, on our anniversary. As the days grew closer, our daughters were talking up ‘the gift’ hubby had gotten for me. There is nothing worse for adding pressure, than your kids excitedly telling you that you will love what their dad got for you! I mean, this meant that how I responded could disappoint not only hubby, but our kids too.

I knew that I had to plan my response. And so I went into constant rehearsals … in the van, in my backyard, in the kitchen, in the mirror … everywhere I went for a week I was practicing my response. By our anniversary I was a well-oiled machine (with a rumbly in my tumbly, from the anxiety).

When ‘it’ arrived at the house, I was sequestered to our daughters room, until ‘it’ and our family were all in place. Then I was beckoned to the living room, where they were all excitedly awaiting (and I was hoping I would faint before I got there, and had to act out my response). And there ‘it’ was … I was shocked, I was excited, I was unable to act … I was naturally thrilled! Hubby had taken an old chair that I had paid a dollar for at a junkyard (over twenty years ago), to be refinished and reupholstered. It was beautifully redeemed, and I loved it.

Now that is the kind of uncertainty I can handle!

I was recently in church singing along, and an example of certainty hit me in the face, and caused tears to flow from my eyes.

“No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.”

As I read and sang those words … no power of hell, no scheme of man … that means nothing on earth, or beyond the earth … nothing, can ever separate me from Christ. There is nothing that any man or woman can do to me, there is no demonic pressure that can sever the tie that exists between my redeemer and me. There is nothing that even I can do to break that tie.

This is certainty! And this is what I hold on to till He returns, or calls me home.

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Summer cannot be almost over! My list is not complete!

It has been such a great summer break, and I have been so thankful for each and every day of it. But some of the most important things I wanted from this summer just didn’t happen, and so I think I need to request another couple of weeks. Where do I go to make my request?

Next week it is back to school for our kids (I ‘got’ to return this week), and back to routine, routine, routine.

Here are my top ten unfinished goals of the summer …

10. Have an adventure with our kids
9. Lose 25 pounds by start of school
8. Move stone from side drive (where it has been since early June … sigh)
7. Finish reno. on stairs (a blog post is coming on this one)
6. Finish closet reno. (a blog post is coming on this one too)
5. Replace the roof on my garden shed
4. Walk daily
3. Finish writing and editing book
2. Teach my son to ride a bike (not his goal, but mine)
1. A two to three day trip to a really nice place, with my guy

Sigh …

It was so depressing to get ready for work yesterday, knowing that the above things did not get done. Most I can ignore, but some have been hanging over my head for years, and one or two are simply things that I humanly so wanted to do/accomplish.

But, here we are, getting ready for the end of summer break, and the beginning of a new school year. Purchasing new clothes, new shoes and school supplies that will, in no time at all, be marked on, torn, outgrown and faded … just like this summer.

Oh, but what memories!

10. A day at the PNE (Pacific National Exhibition) with the family
9. A couple of nights with hubby while he did a wedding
8. A pool party with about seventy people from church
7. Lunch with my oldest daughter
6. Shopping with my youngest daughter
5. Sushi dates with my son
4. Projects that got started … oh how they filled my creative side!
3. Cannon Beach … ahhhhhh
2. Watching the sky for shooting stars
1. Making s’mores on the gas firepit night after night, as we talked, giggled and spent time … together

And now, what is to come?

I have learned that it is best to not approach a new school year with any expectations. Instead I simply enter in, and work to be open to whatever it might bring. And, ten months from now, I will end the year with a top ten of surprises, and a new summer list!

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Hi, my name is Carole, and I am a control freak. Those who know me well (family, no comment is needed, I am admitting the reality you live with here in print … again Control Freak) this comes as no surprise, and for the rest of you … it comes as no surprise … sigh.

Speaking of surprises, I do not like them. I am not fond of even good, or nice surprises (although if Canada Revenue would like to finish hubby’s tax return and send us a cheque before the end of the year, I could be very fond of that surprise … just sayin’), and I am definitely not fond of bad or negative surprises (like our car driving itself down our driveway and planting itself into our sweet neighbor’s planter … sigh).

What is even worse than surprise, to a control freak, is waiting. Being a control freak and being deficient in patience seem to me to go together perfectly.

I never so keenly notice my undiagnosed ADD as when I am in a place of waiting. If people could see what goes on inside of me while I am waiting in a line at the grocery store, waiting for the end of a boring meeting, waiting for others to get their act together (and do what I want them to do), or waiting for my favorite Wednesday night TV show to come on (Criminal Minds) most would be very surprised at how chaotic and troubled it is in that mind of mine.
I hate having to wait!
When I am in a state of ‘waiting’ then my greatly over-gifted imagination kicks into high gear, and that is not a good thing! I can imagination all sorts of possible problems or curses or other bad things that might happen, because if I am waiting, I am not in control, and if I am not in control, then how can God know what to do next?
Really that is the core of my problem … I seem to think that God needs my help. He doesn’t, He just needs my obedience and my faith in His control of the situation. So, I will do my best today to place the reigns back in His nail scarred hands.

“Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name;  you are mine.

I have loved you with an everlasting love…I hold you in the palm of my hands.

In my sight you are precious…do not be afraid I am with you.”  Says the Lord God

Isaiah 43, 1-4

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