Archive for November 1st, 2011

Hi, my name is Carole, and I am a control freak. Those who know me well (family, no comment is needed, I am admitting the reality you live with here in print … again Control Freak) this comes as no surprise, and for the rest of you … it comes as no surprise … sigh.

Speaking of surprises, I do not like them. I am not fond of even good, or nice surprises (although if Canada Revenue would like to finish hubby’s tax return and send us a cheque before the end of the year, I could be very fond of that surprise … just sayin’), and I am definitely not fond of bad or negative surprises (like our car driving itself down our driveway and planting itself into our sweet neighbor’s planter … sigh).

What is even worse than surprise, to a control freak, is waiting. Being a control freak and being deficient in patience seem to me to go together perfectly.

I never so keenly notice my undiagnosed ADD as when I am in a place of waiting. If people could see what goes on inside of me while I am waiting in a line at the grocery store, waiting for the end of a boring meeting, waiting for others to get their act together (and do what I want them to do), or waiting for my favorite Wednesday night TV show to come on (Criminal Minds) most would be very surprised at how chaotic and troubled it is in that mind of mine.
I hate having to wait!
When I am in a state of ‘waiting’ then my greatly over-gifted imagination kicks into high gear, and that is not a good thing! I can imagination all sorts of possible problems or curses or other bad things that might happen, because if I am waiting, I am not in control, and if I am not in control, then how can God know what to do next?
Really that is the core of my problem … I seem to think that God needs my help. He doesn’t, He just needs my obedience and my faith in His control of the situation. So, I will do my best today to place the reigns back in His nail scarred hands.

“Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name;  you are mine.

I have loved you with an everlasting love…I hold you in the palm of my hands.

In my sight you are precious…do not be afraid I am with you.”  Says the Lord God

Isaiah 43, 1-4

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