Sleeping Single in a Queen Sized Bed

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Sleeping Single in a Queen Sized Bed

June 26, 2012 by itsawonderfilledlife

With hubby off on his East Coast trip, I have re-learned the beauty of sleeping alone in a queen-sized bed, and hubby is going to be shocked with the changes.

Since he has not been here to insinuate that I snore (what a horrible thing to say! He says it is a horrible thing to hear), and therefore I should not sleep on my back, I have become a back sleeper. I have also gotten quite accustomed to sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Since hubby has been gone I have also learned more important things than the benefits of sleeping solo.

I have heard and read 1 Corinthians 7:8 many times, and it has always made me wonder about how Paul’s words apply to my own life; “to the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.”

It is intriguing that, in Genesis 2:18, “the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.””

So, which is it? Better to be single, or married?

Well, I think I might have it figured out … (the Christian church accepts no responsibility for the opinions expressed in this grammatically flawed blog, featuring little … NO … formal theological training upon which to trust what I say to be anywhere near Biblically accurate).

When a woman is married, it is easy, natural to look to her husband as the main one to meet all of her needs. It is a natural thing for a wife (or husband) to look to her spouse as the supplier, sustainer, provider and protector. But, in doing this, what the woman has done is replaced the God, who is all of that, with a human being, who was never intended to be more than a helper, a partner to walk through life’s journey. A person to make the walk easier, less lonely, and to experience human oneness of mind, heart body and spirit.

I think that maybe what Paul is saying is that when we chose to marry, although that pairing up might be what God intended (to defeat loneliness). It also means that our spouse can have God-like expectations heaped on him, or her. And these expectations take our eyes, our focus, off the only true Provider, Supplier, Sustainer, and Protector that we were meant to rely on.

Then, in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul mixes me up even more!

“I want you to live as free of complications as possible.
When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.
Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life
and in wanting to please your spouse,
leading to so many more demands on your attention.
The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other,
the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.
I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you,
not make things harder.
All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which
you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.”

So, another challenge of marriage, is that there are more demands on your attention, time and energies, and that means less to spend with God.

It is not that it is a bad thing to spend time “caring for and nurturing each other,” that is something we must do for each other in the marriage relationship, for it to survive. But it does divide our energies and attention more, and in that, our lives become more complicated.

This is why it is so imperative that, when we marry, we do so to one who shares our love for God, so that our marriage can also strengthen and encourage our relationship with our God.

Without hubby here, I have been freed to spend this week with my Maker. Although there are still distractions ALL around me (if Paul had been a mother, he might not have even addressed marriage), I have had more still, quiet moments with my Creator. And it is that which will make me a better wife.

“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.”
Isaiah 54:5

Posted in GOD, The Hubby, WONDER | Tagged 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, 1 Corinthians 7:8, choose, husbanc, Isaiah 54:5, married, protector, single, sleeping single in a queen sized bed, sustainer, wife | 2 Comments

2 Responses

on June 26, 2012 at 4:23 pm | Reply nodroppedstitches

Wow. There is so much more to say about what you just wrote and…yes…I may just do that at some point but don’t push me 🙂

Having been a wife for 23 1/2 years (the half year is so important, I had to add that) I absolutely enjoyed my role and felt that it was the life for me. No other life would be better. I loved the company, the nurturing, both giving and receiving, and the knowing that there was someone I could count on and who counted on me.

Then I became a widow ( I need a emoticon with a growly face) and hated every minute of it, at least for the first three years. Now, half way into my fourth year, I am seeing some of the benefits that Paul was talking about but not all of them. There is plenty of time to talk to God but strangely enough, I spoke to Him more frequently as a married woman than an unmarried one. I also noticed, as a wife, that the closeness of my relationship to my husband coincided with the closeness of my relationship to God. The further from God, the further I was from my husband and vice versa.

Just some food for thought.
- on June 26, 2012 at 5:04 pm | Reply itsawonderfilledlife
  
  That is great food for thought, Winnie! What a blessing, for you, that your life walk with your husband was one of both of you being drawn to God through your walk with the other. Count it all blessing, as good memories like that are the gifts from that love relationship you shared together.
  Carole