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Archive for February 14th, 2013

Happy Valentines Day!images-2

The day of love, love, love …

Let’s face it, for many it not a day of love, but of regrets, loneliness, and broken marriages.

I’m gonna be really honest in saying that I have had those Valentine’s Days too (who hasn’t?), and hubby has probably had even more than me!

We have treated each other poorly. We have disrespected, mistrusted, lied, not forgiven, yelled at, ignored, punished and mistreated each other … over and over, and over again. So, why do we stay together? Good question!

I cannot speak for hubby (and really, he is safer if he just lets me speak for him), but I think that there are three reasons.

The first is from my romantic, dreamy side …

We have talked, ever since we were dating and just started talking about marriage, about our vision of both being old and gray (well, hubby, not me) and sitting in rocking chairs on a porch, hand in hand, watching the sunset together. I am not sure exactly why but that vision has stuck for me. When things are good in our relationship, or when things really suck royally, that vision comes to my mind … and reminds me of the end goal.

The second is from my mother heart …

I remember hearing an interview with Kathie Gifford years ago, when there was great publicity over a sexual indiscretion committed by her husband, and she quoted what her counselor had said to her, after a ‘poor me’ monologue, “he looked at me, and said, Kathie — and now this is two years after — “If you can’t forgive your husband, forgive your children’s father.”” Although I do not believe that that rational applies to all circumstances, it is a line that has haunted me, when things are going good in our relationship, or when things really suck royally, and a vision of our three kids comes to my mind … and reminds me of the goal of modeling commitment for our kids that will encourage them if they too marry.

The third is from the part of me that recognizes I am a child of God …

Marriage is hard work. I cannot imagine the marriage of two people without desiring at least once to call it quits. That said, twenty-three years in the wedded trenches have convinced me that seeing how God can restore us after a season of wanting to throw in the towel, makes our marriage even better. I would not ever choose to go through those rough times, but going through them, and coming out the other side is a most miraculous picture of what God can do with two extremely flawed, extremely selfish individuals. I am convinced that 1 Peter 5:10 is all about marriage:

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ,
after you have suffered a little while,
will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

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