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Archive for July 7th, 2014

What do women want? The question brings up memories of that Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, of the same name. But it also makes me wonder, is it answerable? Is there a manual available for men, so that they are, without a doubt, aware of what it is that women truly do want? (would they read it?) Do we, as women know ourselves what it is that we want? Do we all, as women, want the same things? Do we, as women, always want the same things, everyday?

So much to wonder … I’m gonna need chocolate! And speaking of chocolate, do women all want chocolate? Unbelievably, NO! Now many of us do ‘need’ to have chocolate (and at certain points in the month, ‘need’ is not just an understatement … it’s survival, and not just for the woman, but for anyone else inhabiting the same space). But there are those of us who … do not prefer chocolate … hard as it is to believe. Some would rather have candy, or salty potato chips, or ice cream. So chocolate is not necessarily part of our female DNA.

And since chocolate came up, lets deal with other ‘gifts’ that might be given to women.

Diamonds, they say, are a girls best friend. Bringing to memory that Marilyn Monroe movie of the same name. I own only one ‘real’ diamond. And it was the most special gift my husband ever gave me … because, with it he declared his love and desire to marry me. Sadly, I haven’t worn it since our first daughter was born, as it’s points are so sharp, it could cause lacerations. But, are diamonds, gems, jewels what women want? Do we all desire to BLING like the Las Vegas strip? There are those who love them, and who frequently visit jewelery stores in malls and online … and those who, have never chosen to walk into a jewelery store (especially if there is a chocolate store beside it). Again, diamonds are not necessarily part of our female DNA.

How about flowers? If the calendar is showing Valentine’s Day, or Mother’s Day, one would think that there is nothing else a woman would want. And, really, what girlĀ  can resist a gift of sweet smelling flowers from someone who normally doesn’t ‘drop’ sweet smelling gifts in her presence? But some women prefer a plant or tree to plant in the garden, and to remember the gift, and the giver whenever she sees it, than a short-lived box of long stem roses. Others would prefer a dandelion, handed to her by chubby, sticky, preschool fingers, to be plopped into a plastic cup, and sat in the most special ‘place of honer’, in the house. Again, a gift bouquet of flowers, purchased at the flower store is not necessarily a need of the female DNA.

More recently, a ‘safe’ gift to give a woman is a gift card. But, even here, consistency is non-existent. For some, a gift card to a spa is a perfect gift. Or a gift card to her favorite clothing, gardening, jewelery or candy store. But, even in gift cards, one size does not fit all! Just try giving a gift card to a weight loss company or gym! Again, gift cards are not necessarily part of the female DNA.

So, what DO women want?

So far, it would appear that what women want is dependent on the woman. There is no ‘one gift’ that fits all! And, perhaps worst of all, a gift that could be received with tears in her eyes, and ‘I love it’ coming from her lips, one time, could be received with one raised eyebrow, and ‘oh … thanks’ coming from her lips, the next (and, yes, I am guilty).

On one birthday, I received a gift from my daughter, and, for me, it solidified what it is that this woman wants in the gifts given to me. She gave me three beautiful gifts … but, it is the one she made that I loved receiving the most. She made for me two CD’s, full of the music that she knows I love. And what a variety there was … Coldplay, Johnny Cash, ABBA, and a beautiful rendition of Bach’s Suite for Cello no. 6, among many more, extremely varied songs (like the varied composition of my brain cells).

But, what it was that made receiving the gift, such a gift, was that it was a CD full of the music that she knows I love! What she gave me was not two great CD’s (although they are), but she gave me the gift of knowing me. She spends enough time with me, talking, living, sharing the day to day of life, that she knows what I love. Now, to be fair, it helps that she and I share similar loves, when it comes to music. But, not it totality, and so she had to step out of her comfortable dance shoes, and slip into mine to know me.

And, in my humble opinion, it is the desire of the gift giver to know the recipient. It is the desire of the gift giver to seek to know, to observe, to listen, to feel the heartbeat of the recipient, to be able to give women what we want. The giver needs to want to know the recipient so much that they are willing to walk the same walk.

Although my daughter definitely ‘scored’ with this gift, and others at various other times. I really only know of one who is consistent in his desire to know me …

“God so intimately knows me, knows you,

that He did what no one on Earth would ever dream of doing

He watched, He allowed

His son to die.

Because He knew

that the only way for for me, for you

to really live fully

was this gift of sacrifice.”

Carole’s paraphrase of John 3:16

Oh, and, my addition, using my own creative license …

“So stop looking for a man to know you better than this!!!”

That said, when another human being, seeks to know you so well that their gift leaves you with a sense that God lives not just in a ‘high and lofty’ place, but here … where mere mortals bleed, sweat and toil, it is a beautiful, wonder-filled thing … and that is, what women want.

What Women Want Part 2 of 5

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