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Archive for July 9th, 2014


There are so many ways to say, I love you. So many opportunities to say, I love you. There are verbal and non-verbal ways to communicate … I love you.

The way you communicate ‘I love you’ is not so important, as long as the woman you are communicating it to ‘hears’ what you are communicating. For Buttercup, ‘as you wish’, were just the appropriate words of her Farm Boy, Wesley … until she realized that when he said those words with his mouth, his heart was saying ‘I love you’. Until she ‘heard’ his heart, he was her servant. Once she ‘heard’ his heart, her heart began to beat differently, more intentionally … she began to feel love for Wesley as well, and he was no longer just her farm boy.

That’s kind of like marriage, in reverse. In the beginning, ‘I love you’ is communicated openly, freely, regularly. It is heard from both sides, and you see each other as friend, confidant and lover. Over time, the two parties ‘forget’ to communicate with their hearts, and the person to whom they are most affectionate, becomes ‘my spouse’. And even when the words ‘I love you’ are spoken, they no longer dance in our ears, and in our hearts, as an earthly gift of wonder.

It reminds me of the story of the man, who, after many years of marriage, was asked by his wife ‘why don’t you say I love you anymore?’ To which he replied, ‘I said I love you once, and if it ever changes I’ll let you know’? This, I can assure you, is NOT what women want!

Women NEED to have ‘I love you’, communicated to them. It is the emotional equivalent to our physical need of water (I might add hugs too). It is the last words I say to my parents when we say good-bye on the phone, it is the last words I say when I am tucking my kids in at night. If I could hope for three last words to hear, before I leave this earth, from someone whose mouth they are safe in, it would be ‘I love you’.

When speaking of, not just what a woman wants, but also her needs, I love you is even Biblical!

“Husbands, love your wives,

just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

and to present her to himself as a radiant church,

without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:25-27

Hum, last line makes me wonder … if, as women, we get wrinkles and blemishes is it because our hubby hasn’t loved us enough? Just a thought to ponder … I cannot quite see a group of theologians sitting around a table discussing this, but, heck, maybe they should! Maybe we wives get old-looking because we have not be cleansed by hubby’s love, and washed by his affections (I never had wrinkles before I got married … of course I was only 20, when I did get married). And, lets face it that whole cleansing and washing has a delightfully erotic sound to it … but, I DEFINITELY digress!

It is a husbands duty to love his wife. And this love is not some light-weight love, like “I love coffee”, or “I love my dog”, or “I love the Leafs” (not necessarily me, but someone in my home), or “I love the sunshine” (more sincere words have never been spoken, by these lips). No, this love is compared to how Christ loves the church, and gave himself up for her … you know, on the cross … Christ died for the church that He loves so much.

Women need that kind of love. Often women ‘hear’ love in a man’s words and actions when we feel that he would love us enough to die for us. We may not know that is what we ‘hear’ through his communications, but our hearts, our souls hear it loud and clear (and sometimes, mistakenly) … because that is what we are created to seek … a man who would love us, even to the point of death.

Now, I am not calling all men to go our and slay dragons, and risk their physical lives for the sake of the love of their lady. I’m just saying, MEN, LOVE YOUR WIVES … IT WON’T KILL YOU TO COMMUNICATE THAT LOVE TO HER. (although some men might think that it will). But, it is risky … communicating love to a woman. She might reject your words, she might reject your actions, and she might do this ‘rejecting’ because she is hurt for the ‘no, I love yous’ diet you’ve had her on! Love is risky, but it is so worth it!

Love is the most wonderful of all all wonders we humans get to experience in this life. It is the essence of life, itself. It is what makes the world go round. If a man risks communicating I love you (even through ‘carrots’), he might even have that love returned. And, it is what women want … the most.

What Women Want Part 4 of 5

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