If we are growing and maturing, our definition of love changes as we grow older.
From when we are children and love could be defined as who makes us feel secure by meeting our needs, to when we become teens, then young adults and love could be defined as who makes us feel unconditionally accepted, special. Then, as adults, it is all about is he/she meeting my needs.
Hum … no change there really, as it would seem to be defined by what have you done for me lately.
At the mid point of life, if love is still part of your life, if marriage is still part of your life, it starts to change (ever so g r a d u a l l y ).
It becomes more about maintaining each other, caring for each other.
A number of weeks ago I came across this quote by Ann Voskamp:
“Love is always
inconvenient
inefficient
indestructible”
Not a quote one would expect to hear at a wedding ceremony! Yet, for those who have persevered through love, for love, that quote is real, truth.
We have persevered, hubby and I. Not just hubby, not just I, but both of us, in little and big ways. It has been twenty-nine years (tomorrow) of persevering through love, for love.
Twenty-nine years of inconvenient love. Love that has gotten in the way of our individual interests, love that has been daily overriding individual interests, as we each bend and sway to the other, for the other. For the individual cannot survive in love without sacrificing for the other.
Twenty-nine years of inefficient love. Love that is not slick and polished, but often unproductive and amateurish. Love that doesn’t often work like a well-oiled machine, but often one that requires time adjusting, adjusting, adjusting. So many kinks to work out … and usually, they are not his, but mine.
Twenty-nine years of … how does one say, until at the very end, that it is indestructible love? Though the definition of what love is may change, it is proven only in it’s longevity, it’s indestructiblity. Grit (a determination that is strong-willed and to the end) in love is the major ingredient determining whether or not it is indestructible.
Though it is not flowery or romantic sounding, I’d take the real thing … inconvenient, inefficient, indestructible love … twenty-nine years and counting.
“Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.”
CS Lewis
itsawonderfilledlife 
Awwww yes indeed – love – matters of the heart because the heart truly matters – congratulations on 29 years!!!! – I love Ann Voskamp – one of my favourite authors for sure – thank you for this LOVEly sharing – blessings and love xo
Congratulations on 29 years, Carole and Phil! I remember the day well, it was such a joy to stand with Phil and to watch you two commit to each other not knowing the path God would have you travel. Now that path is partially traveled and you are still committed to to each other for the remainder of the journey to place and time when God calls you both into his glorious presence.
“Because the heart truly matters” … love that Debra! You may just be quoted here one of these days!
Carole
Rod,
It seems like forever ago since that day! Truly we were surrounded by a great crowd of witnesses, yourselves included.
Carole
Congratulations on 29 years…I love your post…so beautiful…An anniversary is the day of celebrating the memories of yesterday, the joys and today and the lovely hopes of tomorrow. Happy anniversary Carole and Phil!
Thanks for your comment (whoever you are), and your congratulations. It is in reminiscing of the memories of yesterday that today seems even more joyful and the future hopeful.
Carole