
It’s my guy’s birthday today. It’s the thirty-first of his that we have celebrated together. That means we have spent 60% of his birthdays together. And we have been married thirty years. And we met just a few months before his twenty-fourth (not that I am giving any age hints 😉 ).
Phil has always been a husband and dad who would drop whatever he was doing to help us out. But, recently, his willingness to help me, when I needed him the most, opened my eyes to what a gift he is in my life.
During the recently hospitalization and subsequent death of my dad, Phil would ask me each day (some days, multiple times),
what can I do for you today?
Though he has always been willing to drop what he’s doing to help out, this is the first time that I can remember him offering his help, so directly, so intentionally.
At first (because, hello … I am a capable person) I tried to wave his offer off, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that the to do list was bigger than I ever could have imagined and that a brain muddled by shock and grief is not capable of functioning as it would normally.
In no time, I was handing over things that needed to be done, with ease and great appreciation.
As I look back on those days of confusion, decision-making and sadness I also look back and see him …
offering, supporting, comforting, listening … with eagerness to help, to love, to serve me.
He was the personal flotation device that held my head above water, allowing me to help (along with my brothers) hold my mom up.
At the time, in my muddled state, I simply received his offerings of help and support. As the days have moved along, I an so thankful for his willingness to help … in any way, even when I got things mixed up, and that affected his time, his plans, his schedule.
Still, weeks later, he frequently will ask what can I do for you today? And, his question makes my heart swell with pride, appreciation.
His selfless acts of love, devotion and service to me have made me so thankful for him, for our marriage together … for the perseverance (of both of us) through the seasons of marriage that were tough … requiring more devotion to our commitment than devotion to each other.
Through all of this, I could say, of my Philip, what Queen Elizabeth said of her husband, Prince Philip, 0n their Golden Anniversary (50th) :
“He is someone who doesn’t take easily to compliments, but he has, quite simply, been my strength and stay.”
To my Philip, on his birthday of … more years than mine ( 😉 ), I have never been more thankful, more proud to be yours. May this be the start of your best year yet.
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