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The Chocolate Cake Horror Story versus the Giver

Posted in WONDER, tagged #gitfs, #selfless, #thechocolatecakehorrorstoryversusthegiver on October 14, 2014| 2 Comments »

I wanted to make a cake, a birthday cake. One of the students I work with was turning eighteen, and I wanted him to have the experience of a crowd of people, of friends, crowded around singing the most radical, off key rendition of Happy Birthday to You, with a candle burning on the top of a chocolate cake. All to him.

So, at about 8pm, the night before, I began the hauling of ingredients from my cupboards. All was going well, and I was envisioning his big smile, with every ingredients I added.

The cake came out of the oven looking amazing, and smelling divine.

As it cooled, in the glass dish, I started to make the icing … more chocolatey goodness! Except that, as I added the icing sugar to the bowel, I somehow dropped a significant amount onto the top of my cake. Not wanting the powdery white to destroy my chocolate work of art, I tipped it towards the icing bowl …

Now, to segue … if anyone out there ever has a problem with their cakes sticking to the pans, I have a no-stick spray for you!

… Yup! Half the cake slid ever so quickly and easily from its glass dish, and onto my dog hair covered floor!

I shrieked an inhuman sound, then calmly formed, Plan B.

This plan consisted of simply taking half the cake … half was probably more than enough. So, I continued with the icing, only to realize that I was making too little, even for half a cake! I roughly added about fifty percent more ingredients, then iced the half cake. As I was finishing I could wait no longer, and just had to have a taste of the tempting sugary icing. The taste was so … disappointing. Not creamy, not buttery, not even sickeningly sweet, but … heavy.

It wasn’t until I was putting the ingredients away that I discovered the reason … you see the container where I keep my icing sugar looks exactly like the one I keep the flour in!

At this point, I went to bed. Surely morning would dawn with new opportunities …

I awoke at 5:30am, determined to make things right. I hauled the ingredients from their homes … again.

By 6:45am I was making icing. Once this was done, I just needed to shower and dress for work.

Sadly my brain cells were not fully alert, and when I went to push the lock on my mixing bowl, I instead increased the speed …

My corner of the kitchen (and I) looked like the cocoa apocalypse had happened.

I did make it to work, even on time!

First thing in the morning I saw the birthday boy, and you’ll never guess
what he brought and was ever so excited to share?

Yup! A chocolate cake.

There was no way I would indicate that I had also brought a cake, for his offering had the ingredients of giving, of sharing in his special day.

Though it was his birthday, he was the giver, and a selfless one as well.

He relished in the candles being lit, the crowd of witnesses singing wishes of a happy birthday, and then his personal delivery of each slice to his friends. His gift was perfectly selfless.

Christmas is coming. The season when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. He came into this world receiving gifts of gold, frankincense and myhrr, but his ultimate arrival was to give, selflessly, to those who he served.

May we all live to give, and to serve.

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Dear Birthday Boy

Posted in WONDER, tagged #dearbirthdayboy, #faithfulfriends, #giftofgod, #jonathan, #jonathananddavid, Friends on October 10, 2014| Leave a Comment »

We had a chat the other day, you and I.

A chat about your name … one of your names.

Jonathan …

If I were completely honest, I would say that if you had been born at this, more vocal stage in my life, your first name would have been Jonathan (though I do so love singing “Bennie and the Jets” to you … high pitched, and my singing (in)ability means I hit every note, whether I should or not). Jonathan was, and is, the name that ‘feels’ like the one you were born to wear.

Jonathan, a gift from God.

You were, you are a gift from God to me. You were a oft prayed for, hard fought for, child of mine.

Though Shakespeare would have us believe that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, do we become what we are named, or are we named what we are to become? Is our name a self-fulfilling prophesy?

The other day, as you poured out your heart full of concerns for a friend, I smiled. I was not smiling because I was insensitive about the concern you had for your friend. I smiled because your concern was the proof that you are growing into your name.

Jonathan, son of King Saul, best friend, and brother-in-law of David … David the greatest enemy of his father.

The words of 1 Samuel 1:18, echoed in my heart, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” Knit together, like the passage from the Psalms, “knit together in my mother’s womb” (139:13). Knit, by the only one with needles so perfectly purposeful. Knit together to be one entity.

As my smile grew bigger, from my insides out, I looked at you and said “I was right to name you Jonathan.” And the question mark formed in your eyes, and the Bible story, the history story was shared.

Jonathan, the prince of Israel, the heir apparent to follow his royal father, Saul.

Jonathan had a friend, a best friend, a bosom buddy, a “friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Psalm 18:24). His friend was no blue blood, he was a simple shepherd. A simple shepherd that was a “man after Gods own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14).

Remember this son, God chooses leaders based on the condition of their hearts, not their abilities, not their credentials!

You know the story of these two. You know of the the deep love, followed by the insane, jealousy-inspired hatred King Saul had for David. You know of Saul’s plots to kill that shepherd boy. But do you remember what Jonathan did? Jonathan begged his flesh and blood father to be fair, to show mercy. Jonathan protected David from his father. Jonathan protected David, and through his protection he eventually lost his rightful place and position as King of Israel.

My son, my last born, remember when you were young, and too busy playing with trains to hug your mom? Remember what I would say?

“If you won’t hug me, I’ll have to have another baby, and then you’ll lose your place in the family as my baby.”

And you would drop everything, and wrap your arms around my neck hard … because you liked, because you wanted your rightful place.

Jonathan didn’t lose his rightful place, my sweet son, he gave it away, wrapped with a bow and a kiss of friendship, and hand delivered to the one who, he knew, God appointed in his place.

And that is who you are named after … a man who was also God’s gift. And through his selfless gift, the ultimate gift of redemption, through the bloodline of David to the blood shed of the Messiah. This Jonathan was no push over, he was aware that God’s purposes were greater, even if he might never come to understand the grand plan of the Creator.

And so, my son …

know that you are a gift from God
know that you have a purpose
love your friends
in everything, keep your heart pure … it is that which God can use
know that you are a gift from God

Happy Birthday, to my Jonathan.

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You’ve Got Mail

Posted in WONDER, tagged #godslove, #lovenotes, #seeingclearly, #youvegotmail, Vision on October 7, 2014| Leave a Comment »

If you have ever needed to wear corrective lenses, you know what temporary blindness is like. Peering across the bedroom, in the dark of the night, with eyes squinting, trying to figure out if the clock reads 2:50am or 5:50am. Walking down the street to see a figure ahead waving all friendly at you, as you mentally kick yourself for leaving the house without your specs. Sitting down in church (or the movie theater, or the business meeting) to discover that the day the worship team decides to introduce a new song is the same one you forgot to put your contacts in.

For those who have need of corrective lenses, you will know what it is like to put them on and find that you do not have to extend your reach to read the newspaper, and that the trees are not just a mass of color, but individual leaves.

Our vision can be corrected and our view can be cleared to see the obvious to any person around us, with good sight.

The same can be said for reading the Bible. If we read without our corrective lenses, or through the power of the Holy Spirit, things can seem rather … unclear, distorted and even outright wrong.

When we can clearly see the messages left for us, it is like discovering an unread email message or an old love letter.

“This is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the payment for our sins.”
1 John 4:10

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”
Ephesians 3:17-19

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”
Lamentations 3:22-23

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11

… you’ve got mail!

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Superabundant in Love

Posted in WONDER, tagged #1john3:1, #sacrificiallove, #superabundantinlove, spurgeon on October 3, 2014| Leave a Comment »

When I read the following quote, by Charles H Spurgeon, I smiled.

“There never was his like among the choicest of princes. He is always to be found in the thickest part of the battle. When the wind blows cold he always takes the bleak side of the hill. The heaviest end of the cross lies ever on his shoulders. If he bids us carry a burden, he carries it also. If there is anything that is gracious, generous, kind, and tender, yea lavish and superabundant in love, you always find it in him.”
~ Charles H. Spurgeon

Spurgeon, a gifted British church orator and writer, in the mid to late eighteen hundreds, communicates love, respect and admiration in that quote. The subject of it is the prince of peace, the personification of love, Christ himself.

Reading Spurgeon’s century (plus) old words, I felt the depth and truth of their meaning.

A more humble servant leader could not, and can not be found, for the one Spurgeon wrote of humbled himself to death so that we might live.

There are times when, in the reality of our lives, we might look up to the clouds and shake our fists, or bow our heads and feel our hope pour from our eyes.

But, we are never alone, never carrying more than has been already carried for us, on the shoulders of our Savior.

Some days, when we are are hit by the beauty of nature, the joys of people dearly loved by (and loving to) us, or we simply come across ancient words and suddenly we are confronted the reality of this superabundant lover …

and it is enough.

May this day we each come face to face with how lavishly we are loved.

“Behold what manner of love
the Father has give to us,
that we should be called
the children of God.”

1 John 3:1a

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A Letter to My Kids on Dating

Posted in WONDER, tagged #alettertomykidsondating, #courtship, dating, Love, Marriage, Teens on September 30, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Good morning to my greatest works!
of art, of creativity, of heart, soul, mind and breath.

The other day, one of you asked what was my favorite age of you three. That was an easy question to answer! I love the stage each of you is at today.

Another of you asked me to read an article about courting and dating and then asked me to tell you what I thought. That was not an easy question to answer.

When each of you was born, I contemplated the wisdom of pre-arranged marriages … I was so fearful that you, lacking in life experience, would make a wrong and disastrous choice.

Now, after twenty-five years of marriage, and nearly as many years as a parent, I am seeing things differently.

I no longer see myself as the better judge of your future spouse. You see, I am wholly and completely human … sin-filled, flawed, and my preferences as changing as the wind (as if my moving of plants in our garden does not confirm that reality).

The only area where I have an advantage is life experience, and age is no guarantee that I would not make mistakes.

Now, let me tell you about dating, the mom version …

As a teen, I did what everyone else was doing, in regards to dating. ‘Normal’ was to date, exclusively, to be as physical as possible without ‘it’ happening. To date meant trying someone out, until it fizzled. Heartbreak ensued. Then we (I) would move on to the next experimental guinea pig. And the cycle continued.

All of this happening as our minds and bodies were developing, our education being pursued, our futures dreamed, and our dear friendships taken too much for granted.

Marriage was still the aimed for end result, but exclusive relationships, one after another, resulted in many heartbreaks.

Suffice it to say that my own high school dating experience is foundational in the ‘motivational’ offer by your dad and I, of a car after high school, if you choose to not date until after graduating high school.

As a parent, I feel I have gone through a few paradigm shifts.
-I have appreciated the courtship model (loosely)
-I have discouraged dating
-I have even encouraged you to not expect marriage as a sure thing for your future

At this juncture, as I look at my parents, and I am thankful for something they did.

I am thankful that they let me make my own choices and mistakes. They entrusted me to make my own mistakes and good choices. And I am thankful for that.

What I hope that we, as parents, have done is give you all of the foundational love and instruction you will need to make the important choices in your life, regarding dating

I hope we have taught you all:

to love yourselves
to love and respect others
to respect your heart, mind and body
to not ‘settle’
to not say ‘I love you’, just because someone tells you they love you
seek Gods will for your individual life, before seeking a life with another
consider who you date as whether they are marriable
to not look for the perfect person … there is no perfect person, not even the one in the mirror

I hope that God is number one in your life, and I hope you only choose to date people who think the same. Know that there is more to being ‘evenly yoked‘ than just being married to a Christ follower. Christians come in many different experiences of Gods spirit … if you are charismatic in your beliefs and expressions, a lover of liturgy, robes and choral music could make church and family-related choices, in the future, almost as painful as being with one who doesn’t love God at all.

My grown and growing kids,

these things you NEED to know, about dating (and life) …
You’re gonna make mistakes,
have your heart broken,
and wonder (years, weeks, minutes) in your marriage if you made a mistake.

And there is no formula or guarantee that will ensure that you got it right.

I wish that your dad and I could be a better example of perfect, like Christ and the church, sort of love …
But wait, that is the model we have given, because we as husband and wife are like the church …
We are sin filled, flawed, selfish
We mess up, we want to leave, we hurt each other

And here we are, still, 25 years into the adventure

We are still as messed up as we were as single individuals,
but aiming for the same grand finale … NOT on Earth, but in heaven.

And that’s it.

No, that’s not it …

And we will be praying for you until our last breath.

Love,

Mom

“If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way”
Andrew Peterson

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Heaven

Posted in WONDER, tagged #2Corinthians5:2, #anewheaven, #heavenisawonderfulplace, #revelation21:1-5, Death, dying, heaven on September 26, 2014| Leave a Comment »

When I was a kid attending Sunday School we sang a song about heaven …

“Heaven is a wonderful place
Filled with glory and grace
I wanna see my Saviours face
Heaven is a wonderful place.
I wanna go there”

But, I can also remember hearing a speaker talk about the excitement of one day going to heaven, then say, “I don’t want to die, I like it here.”

There are times when I understand both perspectives on heaven, the desire to go there as well as the desire to never leave this Earth.

A friend is in the midst of awaiting the joyful news of her mother-in-laws passing into eternity. Now this might just sound like a daughter-in-law who is eager to be freed of her evil M.I.L., but that is not the case at all. This lady is ninety-seven, tired of her decaying physical body, and eager for the home her heart longs for … her heavenly home. My friend purely desires for this dear lady to have her prayers answered, and to sit at the feet of her Savior.

Another is mourning the diagnosis of her good friend … terminal cancer. This woman is my age, with children younger than my own. She is holding onto life here with white knuckle determination. She likes it here.

Then another who told me of a story of her dad having a heart attack and her mom saving his life. When her dad came to in the hospital, he refused to talk to his lifelong partner and wife, for days. It was not until much later that he explained that he resented her … because she brought him back to life. You see he has memories of moving towards a warm and bright light, and a feeling of peace he had not known before or since. He had no thoughts of his life or his loves on Earth, and his longing was to continue toward the light.

Thinking of heaven always brings me back to the book of Revelation :

“Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”
for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.
I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God,
prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
“Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.
They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain,
for the old order of things has passed away.”
He who was seated on the throne said,
“I am making everything new!”
Then he said,
“Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Revelation 21:1-5

The image created in Revelation is of a dream that would be hard to awaken from. To dwell with our God is to have an Eden-like experience. There is “no death or mourning or crying or pain” … as a female, it is difficult to imagine no crying (maybe that is easier for males). It is difficult to imagine no pain.

The reality is that I think our problem is not in thinking about going to heaven, but thinking about leaving Earth.

I believe that once we are there, ‘here’ does not exist in our thoughts … because what we go to, like that man who was traveling towards the light, is what our heart longs for from the moment we are first created.

“Indeed, we groan with this body, desiring to put on our dwelling from heaven …”
2 Corinthians 5:2

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In the Pit

Posted in WONDER, tagged #evilforgood, #inthepit, Genesis, Jacob, Joseph, Redemption on September 23, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Ever been in a pit?

Joseph was once in a pit … actually it was a well, but really, once you are in one what it is called does not matter anymore. It is dark, cold, full of creepy crawlies, and you’re alone.

Joseph had been thrown into the well by a band of angry thugs … his brothers.

Ever felt thrown into a well by someone you loved?

He was just a young man, the eldest of his mother, Rachel, the pride and joy of his father Jacob (Israel). Joseph had done nothing to deserve such a violent act of thoughtless sibling abandonment.

Ever felt that you were an innocent victim?

He was a good son, followed all the rules, even reported to his father when his older half-brothers were not. He had won his father’s favor, simply by being the firstborn of Jacob’s beloved Rachel.

Ever felt like you were being punished for the heartache of another?

He was a dreamer. Joseph dreamed of things to come, dreams that made the eyes of his brother roll, and confirm their ire for he and his superiority complex.

Ever feel like who you are created to be pushed you into the pit you are in?

Did Joseph’s rule following help him in the dampness of the pit?

Where were Joseph’s grand dreams when he looked up from the darkness he had been thrown into?

Where was Joseph’s protective and loving father, as he realized he was being hoisted out, not to end a cruel joke, but because his very own brothers sold him into slavery?

Sometimes, like Joseph, stuff happens in our life and we feel as though we have been thrown into a pit. Sometimes, having the best of intentions, the best of behaviors, the joy of being loved by family and friends, the greatest of gifts and abilities, are not the insurance of being able to live our lives in the light that we might have hoped that they would be.

Sometimes, we fall into the pit.

Sometimes, we are pushed.

Sometimes, the extended hand that lifts us out, is one that lands us in slavery.

That can all be rather dire.

But Joseph was never alone, not in that pit, not as a slave, not in an Egyptian prison.

God was there, and God’s stories are always centered around the theme of redemption, re-making, renewing.

After Joseph had provided opportunity for his brothers to prove that they had changed, after he was reunited with his father, Jacob, and after his father had died and was buried, redemption came for Joseph’s brothers.

Genesis 50:20 tells us that Joseph said to his brothers, “you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good …”

When we are in the pit we need to remember that we are not there alone, and we need to remember that God has a plan … for good to come from evil.

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Rest Awhile

Posted in WONDER, tagged #mark6:31, #restawhile, #schedule, #september, Busy on September 19, 2014| Leave a Comment »

The third week of September is coming to an end, and in just a few more days summer’s end.

We are all aware of the sun’s later arrival each morning and early departure each evening. As I sit at my computer there is rain falling, and the sky is dark and gray, like the winter months here in the Pacific Northwest.

We are, once again, slaves to calendars filled with good things, demanding things, obligatory things.

Children are requiring poster board, and more computer time to complete newly assigned projects and reports.

Date night moves away from the beach, and into the grocery stores, the Home Depot.

Exercise becomes something to schedule in as opposed to something that happens naturally when all of nature beckons us to come and play.

Awakening to a darkened room does not encourage the departure from the sheets, and their call to us to return seems to begin once the dinner dishes are put away.

There is hustle and bustle, and busy until your dizzy, and deprivation of sleep, sun and fresh air.

Overall, the fatigue of busyness has hit.

I am reminded of Mark 6:31,

“then Jesus said,
“let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.”
He said this because there were so many people coming and going
that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.”

Jesus and his disciples were so very much in demand. People were wanting them night and day. Though they were fulfilling the purposes of their lives, for the greater good of the kingdom of God, their physical needs required replenishing and refreshing. And it was Jesus, himself, who suggested the temporary retreat from their work, and all of the demands connected with it.

If Jesus would put his purpose on hold for a rest, how much more do we mere mortals need to do the same.

Maybe, this weekend, we will each be moved to go off by ourselves, to a quiet place, and rest awhile.

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No Place is so Dear to my Childhood

Posted in WONDER, tagged #noplaceissodeartomychildhood, #oldchurches, #whereimetjesus, Church, Memories, Worship on September 16, 2014| Leave a Comment »

This past summer I heard that the first church of my childhood was to be torn down. When my brother shared that the contents of it, as well as architectural features, were to be auctioned off I found myself remembering that place and it’s people.

When I was three, my mother met my soon to be father. From their wedding on, my paternal grandmother took me along to her church each Sunday, for Sunday School, often followed by the church service.

It was a small, white clapboard building, with pine flooring, dark wood trims on the interior, and stained glass windows at (from my memory) almost every entry the sun could penetrate.

The small foyer opened straight into the vestry, where the opening of Sunday School would take place. I cannot remember all of the songs I learned there, but Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children (all the children of the world) and This Little Light of Mine were certainly ones that I learned in that small, but airy room.

Walking straight through the vestry to the back would then open a door on the left, then through the petite kitchen, to another petite room. It was there that I first encountered that classic Sunday School teaching tool, the flannel graph. If I close my eyes, I can still see the lame man being lowered through the roof, by his friends, so that he might be healed by Jesus.

Upstairs were more classrooms, though I only remember being in one of them. They were reserved for the older kids, and as I got older I attended Sunday School closer to my home.

Parallel to the vestry was the sanctuary. A rectangular room, with stained glass windows on one side, and on the other, a magnificent door that rolled right into the wall, separating the sanctuary from the vestry. The front was raised, and the simple pulpit in the middle. An old organ sat to the left, down on the floor. The back of the sanctuary was the most beautiful stained glass window (below).

The image of Jesus, the Good Shepherd, so gently carrying his lamb captivated by attention, and had me turned around staring in awe and wonder as a child. This image created from glass and lead, was and is who I see when I hear the name of Jesus.

But, the church was not just a building, but a people too.

There was that older lady who I sat behind in the vestry, who had the longest leg hairs ever (longer than any woman or man I have met since). Or the woman who made the cherry and cream cheese sandwiches, rolled up like a pinwheel. Or the kind man who always had hard candies in his pocket. Or the sound of my grandmother’s choral voice (equivalent to that of Lucille Ball). Or the ‘old ladies’ my grandmother picked up to drive to church every Sunday, even until the Sunday prior to her death in her mid 80’s. Or the women who, for a Vacation Bible School, were teaching the story of the loaves and the fishes, and they gave each child five buns and two cookies cut out as fish.

In recent years, the church … where I first met Jesus … had reduced to single digit attendance, and it’s hundred-odd year old building, badly in need of costly repair. It, and the community both suffering the effects of society moving away from the rural and towards more urban centers.

It is sad to think of a church being de-constructed. As the day approached, I imagined the sacrifices that those who built the church had made over the years. The coins in a jar, the roof replacement that was delayed by another year, the cookbooks sold, the pennies from a paper route. How sad that all their efforts would come to such a final end.

Though it is more sad to imagine maintaining a hollow building, with money and time that could instead be spent bringing light to those encompassed by darkness.

That church, as a building, taught me that Jesus was kind, and loving, and the main focus for that holy house.

That church, as a people, taught me that people were important, that I was important. They taught me that to worship God we did not have to have a perfect offering, but to offer what we have.

No place is so dear to my childhood …

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Pity Party on the Highway of Life

Posted in WONDER, tagged #desiresofmyheart, #disappointed, #pityparty, #pitypartyonthehighwayoflife, #psalm13, Faith on September 12, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Can you name something you really want?

I am not talking peace on Earth, or for the males in your house to put the toilet seat down, or to win the lottery. I am talking about wanting something so badly, that your heart aches for it.

In my life, there have been few times when I truly wanted something that badly.

There was that day, late in spring, when hubby and I were discussing how we might spend vacation. For the past five to six years, our family (or parts of it) spent a week on the Oregon Coast, being nurtured physically, spiritually and relationally at a Christian convention center (check out http://www.cbcc.net). For me, this place has been my place of rest and renewal.

But, this year we would not be attending.

Sometimes we do not know what we want, until it is out of our grasp.

As the final decision to not go was made, tears began to fall, uncontrollably, from my eyes. As a matter of fact, whenever our ‘Cannon Beach’ friends asked if we would be there, a hard mass settled in my throat. Whenever emails from ‘there’ were in my email inbox, I would delete before I had to face pictures of the beach. Then the week when we normally would have been there … well, lets just say I did get my fair share of salt water (tears).

There was not a day this summer when I did not pray that God would make a way for us (or at least me 😉 ) to go.

Never in my life had a thing or place been so desired.

Things kind of bottomed out at the very end of summer, when hubby left for his third trip to the East Coast (our native land). I remember driving home, after dropping him off at the airport, and I had my getting real with God monologue (what a gentleman He is, to quietly put up with my pity party). I cannot remember all that I said, but the words “it’s not fair that he gets three trips” do still ring in my head.

After that very real confessional, I had finally let my desires go. And I awoke the next morning, still disappointed, but finally able to let it go.

About a week ago hubby had to call the conference center office on another matter. Out of the blue, the person on the other end asked, “you’re a pastor, aren’t you?”

To make a long story short, they have rooms available to pastors, on the off season … for free. To shorten it more, this past Monday hubby called (as soon as they opened) to reserve three nights. It also happens that we could do it without my having to takes unpaid days off.

I am delighted!

And I am cognizant of the fact that this provision was not something that just happened, but that every detail, down to the timing, was orchestrated by a God who cares about the desires of our heart.

I love Psalm 13. It is not a joy-filled psalm, but a lament … kinda like my getting real with God monologue. The Psalmist is feeling forgotten, ignored, and is throwing his very own pity party

… who cannot relate to hosting such an event?

Unlike myself, when the psalmist, David, comes to the end of his rant, he seems to take a humble posture, committing his trust in the mercy of God, thanking Him, ahead of time, for how bountifully God has/will deal with him.

And that is faith in the unseen, in the things to come.

“I will sing to the Lord,
for he has dealt bountifully with me!”
Psalm 13:6b