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Posts Tagged ‘baby’

Eternally Transformed By Birth

Posted in WONDER, tagged baby, Life, Love, mother-of-a-mother, motherhood, Transformation on August 26, 2026| 1 Comment »

On the day you gave birth, I was so excited to meet that little bundle, but it was you who was paramount on my mind that day.

What is it about the nostalgia of your child doing something you remember doing, entering into a phase you’ve walked, on the cusp of so much more than they know or understand? But, mommas, we know.

We know because we have been there, are currently there, will always be there. W know how this is not a phase that waxes and wanes, it is permanent, forever changing us from the inside out.

So much changes in the body, mind and soul of a woman who becomes a mum. There is even science to back that up, as there is evidence that fetal cells can transfer into the mother’s body, living within the mother long beyond their birth. So, that little bundle, she is within you still, while also being on the outside.

The day before her birth I was thinking of you, in my mind. Thinking of how these are your last minutes and hours of an innocence of sorts. How you would awaken the next morning and be forward focused, heading out the door to go to the hospital, while you were unaware that there is no going back to life before motherhood, who you were before motherhood. That you would return to your home not just with a new creation, but as a new creation with a new filter for life.

You are going to see your baby girl each day and feel awe that is just about going to make you burst. Her needs will be paramount in your thoughts, even when you would just like a moment to yourself. I remember the words of my grandmother, when you were born,

“It is hard to put your husband first now.”

The good thing is that you and your husband now share this intoxicating love and devotion for this little human who shares your home, your hearts, and even your DNA. And the thing is, having a child changes every relationship from now onward, because you see everyone through the eyes of who you are, a human, a woman, a mum.

You will watch movies, ads, other video clips (even children’s programing) and find yourself responding differently. Tears may flow, anger may burn, a level of righteousness and advocacy you had never known may erupt from within. Your filter is changed, you see things through the protective view of a mum (and it will break your heart, warm your heart, grow your heart).

Her cry will move something in the core of your physical and mental being. And this will continue when she falls and bumps her head, when she doesn’t get what she wants, when you have to leave her in the care of another and she clings to you with arms (and sobs), when a peer rejects her, when she fails a test, when a first love breaks her heart, when she experiences loss and grief, when … she is about to become a mum.

You will encounter odd changes within yourself, physically too. Like riding amusement park rides and discovering that something changed within you because twirling around, and around, and around creates a while new nauseous response that you’d never experienced before. Or foods that you once loved (or disliked) tasting differently.

You will never be the same, my daughter. For now you too have a child, a daughter, and everything has changed. And it is the most amazing metamorphosis available to us. So, as you emerge from the cocoon that has prepared and brought you to this most beautiful altering, know that you have all that you need within you. And when this eternal transformation feels heavy, there are others that surround you, who have walked … are walking just ahead of you.

It is true
I was created in you.
It is also true
That you were created for me.
I owned your voice.
It was shaped and tuned to soothe me.
Your arms were molded
Into a cradle to hold me, to rock me.
The scent of your body was the air
Perfumed for me to breathe.
Mother,
During those early, dearest days
I did not dream that you had
A large life which included me,
For I had a life
Which was only you.
... 

-Mother a Cradle to Hold
Maya Angelou

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It’s Not Fair!

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged Angels, baby, chosen, Elizabeth, God chosen, importance, it's not fair, Jesus, Luke 1, Mary, Son of God, Travelling, virgin mary on December 16, 2013| 1 Comment »

God knows what He is doing, both now and always.

For instance, He knew what He was doing when Mary was chosen to be the mother of the Christ child … and not me.

Mary was “highly favored” (Luke 1:28), I on the other hand am … extra human in regards to my use of phrase like, “that’s not fair.”

If I were to have walked in the shoes of Mary, and been visited by an angel (that is big enough as it is) who told me that I, a virgin, was to be inseminated by the Holy Spirit and give birth to the Son of God (and not even have the honor of choosing the name of my firstborn) I would not have replied, “I am the Lord’s servant, may your word to me be fulfilled” (Luke 1:38).

Then off she goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth … if it were me, my intent would have been to flee the realities that were going on, and to bury my head in the sand, as the great ostriches do to avoid their problems. But no, there is no avoiding reality from her first words, when Elizabeth’s pre-born boy decides to do cartwheels at the sound of her voice.

And the unfair things did not stop there! After Joseph got his angelic visit, and he hoped on board, they had to head travel to be counted in the census that Caesar decided was necessary. So off the pair trod, Mary VERY pregnant, and the two undoubtedly still confused.

Then, upon arrival at their destination of Bethlehem, there is not a room left for them to find refuge, and for their baby to be born.

At this point I would have been looking up at those shiny stars and saying, “really God? Really? This IS YOUR son, could we at least have a place to bring Him into this world?”

God knew what He is doing, then and now. He does not ask any more of us than we can handle, and being the mother to the Christ child would definitely be more than I could handle.

I remember being a young teenager and saying to my God-loving grandmother, that ‘other’ denomination puts too much emphasis on Mary (parroting words I had heard, rather than what my own heart and brain deemed to be true). My grandmother, uncharacteristically firm and pointed in her reply to her only granddaughter said, “and we do not emphasize her value enough! If God chose her to give birth and raise His Son, she must have been a very special young woman.”

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Love Came Down

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged baby, Celine Dion, father / mother, fingers and toes, Josh Groban, love came down, love came down at Christmas, love for all, Mary, Mother, newborn, oneness, primal, Redemption, value, Women on December 6, 2013| 1 Comment »

A baby … a newborn baby … with ten fingers, and ten toes … images-8

When the doctor hands a newborn to the exhausted mom, she counts …

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 , 9 … 10 … t e n, complete.

It is as though there is some primal need to count and confirm the existence of all appendages, all phalanges.

When it comes to giving birth, and becoming a mom (I cannot adequately speak for what it is to become a dad) primal is the best word to describe the experience. There is nothing like becoming a mom to make a woman realize what it is to want to save every child everywhere in the world. Newscasts of missing children, sick children, violated children stir a primal response from us that was just not as strong, not as emotion-filled before the moment when we knew, instinctively, that we were a mom.

Sometimes I think that God, in His all-knowing wisdom and understanding of we human creatures, chose to send His son to us, born of a woman, so as to draw we females to Him and to ensure that we would feel, and understand, and KNOW that hope, and peace and redemption was for us too.

Finally, after years of women experiencing a devalued existence, they were not only offered forgiveness and atonement for sin, but it was also provided through the womb of a woman, granting the opportunity to be part of the deliverance of His people. There was a oneness with the Father God, sharing in His love and pride of His own son, as well as the sorrow and separation that the crucifixion delivered.

How many of us, as women, have seen the images of Mary on cards, in nativity sets, or in stained glass windows or how many of us have heard or read the Christmas story, causing us to wonder, as Mary did, about all that had been told to her, all that was happening, and what was to come.

I believe that God was making a point, for all the world to see, of just how valuable we daughters of Eve are to Him.

“Love came down, at Christmas …
Love be yours and love be mine …”

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Who Said It?

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged baby, Bill Keane, cartoon, child, hugs, Mom, secret, Son, the Family Circus, who said it? on September 19, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I love the Family Circus cartoon to the left.

Bill Keane was such a talented animator who was gifted with the the knowledge that much can be said with few words, and a strong image. His Family Circus cartoon are probably my favorites of all times. He had a way of creating a picture that would not allow my eyes to move on, until I had ‘felt’ all that it was communicating.

Bill created so well this image that simply is the epitome of a warm fuzzy picture of a toddler in his warm and fuzzy sleepers, and mom seems to be still in her right mind. There is no vomit, leaking diaper, or signs of howling … in other words, it is an idealistic image 😉 .

Beyond being idealistic, it also makes me wonder …

“This is my favorite place – inside your hug.” Who do you read to be the one who is saying that? It would appear at first that the little one, with mouth open, is the one speaking the words. But then I look at the contemplative face of the mom, and think of how truer words have not been spoken by a mother.

As a mom of teenagers, I can still remember moments like that image. I can remember inhaling the scent of our little ones, enjoying the cleanliness of a child ready for bed, and relishing the feel of their little arms holding around my neck in a hug that could be confused as a death grip. I remember how utterly angelic their chubby faces, framed by feather soft hair. I remember the sound of their genuine words of affection that would seem to come from nothing in particular, just their most sincere love. I remember …

I have a secret … I am fearful that those moments are just a memory of days gone by. I am fearful that the awkwardness of adolescents will distance my children from physical hugs, touch, with me their mother.

Don’t get me wrong, I DO NOT WANT my children to be in their thirties, still living at home, and still saying that my hugs are their favorite place. That is just creepy!

But, they are a part of me, pieces of me who walk independently from me. They have been part of my body, and they will always be little (okay, as the shortest in the house ‘little’ may not be the right word) fragments of my heart traversing this life. I still feel a need for a connection to them, a conversation, a look, a touch.

For me, when I look upon this cartoon, it can only be the words spoken by the mom … “this is my favorite place – inside your hug.”

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A Letter on Being Mom

Posted in life, Love, The Kids, WONDER, tagged baby, Being Mom, Children, Dreams, Kids, Life, Mom, Mommy, Sleep, sleeping child on May 10, 2012| 4 Comments »

Since my first memories being a wife and mother were the two constant goals of my life. By the age of twenty-three (and a half) I had been married for three years, and was holding our baby daughter. Now, at age forty-three, I have three earthly, and five heavenly children … be careful what you wish for!

As a girl I wanted to be a mommy. I wanted to dress my babies in pretty clothes (I guess they were always girl babies), I wanted to feed them, I wanted to take them for a walk and lay them gently in their bed at night …

As a teenager, I had two personalities. The one wanted a good job, and independence. The other wanted to have babies, who I imagined rocking to sleep, and teaching to walk, and sharing giggles, and lay them gently in their bed at night …

… and watch them sleep.

When each of my children were babies, there was no sweeter thing than to hold their sleeping body in my arms and just … watch them sleep (well except for daughter number two, who never slept).

When they were each toddlers, who spent every second that they were awake in motion, there was nothing better than to sneak into their rooms at night, and watch how that child of terrible two (or blood thirsty three) suddenly became a little angel.

When they were each starting kindergarten, all so eager for this step towards independence, I would sneak into their room the night before the big day, and try to remember every last memory of that moment, for it was the last time that they would be mommy’s little girl or boy.

When they had their first fight with a friend, at school or home, with words or fists, I would sit beside their beds at night and wish that I could take the inevitable hurts from their lives.

When I would yell or make a big mistake, and have to apologize that day to them for my error, that night I would kneel by their beds and pray that God would teach me to forgive, as they always forgave me.

When their dreams were coming true, and life was going splendid for them, I would come into their rooms, bend over and whisper, “I always knew you could do it.”

When I cannot sleep at night,
When my heart is aching from a fight,
When I just need to hold you with all my might,
I will watch you when you sleep,
To a mom, it is the sweetest sight.

Thanks to my kids, for making my dream of being Mom a reality.
May your dreams come true too … I’ve always known you could do it!