I love the debates I have with my son, for we both share our opinions with conviction and passion, yet, because we are not of the same gender, we are able to walk away from such discussions with no bruises.
That said, we had such a debate recently, and after thoughtful consideration, he was wrong.
I was watching the movie, Young Victoria, and specifically her coronation. It was this scene which birthed a debate.
My son said, “she looks scared to death”
To which I replied, “she probably was, as this event diminished her human rights and replaced them with duty to her country, and all that went with that.”
Then he said, “it was a choice. All of life is about choice. Choice is what God gave us all.”
And I pondered (but kept quiet because I really wanted to watch the movie) his words for days after.
I have come to the conclusion that he is right, and wrong. And it is because of my mother-child relationship to and with him that I have found his words to be such.
For I am the woman who loved him from before he was born. I am that one who believes in him, who pushes him, who would die for him. I am bound to him through the experience and responsibility of motherhood. I am duty-bound, for though our relationship was born from love, I must often choose to put my care of him, above myself. That is my duty.
Though individual choice is a common-heard mantra, duty is bound to choice … every choice.
Though it may not be popular, our opinions and our expressions through our appearance are not our own in the workplace. While we are ‘on the clock’ we do not represent ourselves alone, we also represent the organization or business that is paying us. During work hours we are duty-bound to represent our employer. We can wear what we like, but we always need to keep our duty to our position in mind.
We have choice to accept the love of God. Though he pursues us for all of our lives, he does not force his love on us. Once we do receive what God offers to all, we are then duty-bound to him, and to his teachings. In Matthew 4:19, Jesus said, “come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” There are two steps to this commitment, following (accepting) him and then doing the task (duty) that goes with the commitment.
In keeping our duty to our workplace, our family, our God and community we become leaders … maybe not leaders by position or rank, but leaders in the hearts of the men and women around us.
Duty is part of choice,
“Leadership is not a rank.
Leadership is not a position.
Leadership is a decision.
Leadership is a choice.
It has nothing to do with your position in the organization.
If you decide to look after the person to the left of you, and to look after the person to the right of you, you have become a leader.”
Simon Sinek
It is not just our employers, our government and our family members who are duty-bound to work for the good of all. We are all bound, by duty, to diminish so that others might thrive alongside of us.
To do this may lessen stress and anxiety in our family members and co-workers, by giving them a safe and caring community.
To do this may decrease our focus on differences (race, religion, etc.) and bring people together to share in common human experiences.
To do this may result in senior citizens and those with special needs feeling part of the community that they live in, rather than feeling like (or being treated as) burdens on society.
To do this may result in less homelessness, abuse and substance abuse.
I realize, even reading my own words, that this sounds so pie-in-the-sky, Mr. Rodgers esque. And to do that, to look after those around us, is our duty as members of a workplace, a family, a community.
“The price of greatness is responsibility.”
Winston Churchill
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