Faith | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘Faith’

Gardener of my Heart

Posted in WONDER, tagged Faith, gardening, Life, nature, Rest on January 22, 2025| 2 Comments »

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.

I love those words, words that paint an image on the canvas of my mind. To garden is to encourage the growth of beauty. It is to motivate the life that only brings the best fruit from the plant, the vine. There is a sense of nurture, care.

But fruit, a good harvest, it doesn’t come simply from a gardener loving the plant, pampering it and whispering sweet nothings. Fruit growth requires digging in the soil, pruning, plucking and burning the branches that run wild, overgrown.

And that hurts.

Have you ever heard the lyrics to a song and wondered how a total stranger could write your own story? But then I realized that it is the song of us all.

It was one word that lingered in my thoughts for days and even weeks.

Break up the fallow ground

It was the word fallow.

And I searched my brain … fallow, that refers to a field that is unused, resting.

But, it didn’t end. Now it lingered in my mind, where it was tumbled and tossed, agitated. And each time it came to mind, my mind was agitated as well. Finally, after hearing it again just days ago, I knew what I needed to do … find a definition an explanation of the word.

fallow
plowed and harrowed but left unsown for a period in order to restore its fertility as part of a crop rotation or to avoid surplus production.

So the soil was plowed, all turned over. Then harrowed, chopping up the chunks of earth until it is smooth and ready for seed planting. Yet … it was left like that. Not to leave it empty, unnecessarily, but so that this soil could rest and be revived with the nutrients it needs when planting time comes.

(this is where the silent, knowing smile appeared across my face)

There have been fallow seasons in my life. Seasons that lasted far more than weeks or months. My fallow seasons, they lasted years. Years when I was turned and smooth … when I was ready for planting, but …

I was left.

I sat still.

Unused.

Empty.

With no purpose …

But, there was purpose in those fallow seasons. During those seemingly useless years, it was then that I was given opportunity to rest and be fed with what would be needed, when the time of seed-planting comes.

And it does come, maybe not the seeds you might expect, but God does not plow and harrow then leave his precious soil fallow forever …

So be the gardener of my heart
Tend the soil of my soul
Break up the fallow ground

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Why Do We Pray?

Posted in WONDER, tagged #obedience, Faith, GOD, Jesus, Prayer on May 27, 2024| 2 Comments »

Is there anything more boring than repetition? There is no feeling, no emotion, no uniqueness, no life in the parroting of what has always been done. In things of the church, in the life of the Christ follower, this redundancy can seem to be almost deadly.

although …

As a girl, my church had, for so many years, a call to worship hymn … every Sunday. If I heard Thou Art Worthy once, I heard it hundreds of times! As kids we mocked it, ignored it and allowed out eyes to roll sarcastically in our heads.

Yet now, forty odd years later, when that song is sung, tears fall from my eyes and my knees wiggle to bend, for the repetition as a teen caused an inner chamber of my heart to hold those words more closely than might have appeared at the time. Those words were written on my heart by the same repetitive, boring means that I mocked.

I love the story of Joan Chittister, who, as a Benedictine nun, was introducing a new group of nuns to the community. She asked them,

“why do we pray?”

The women responded similarly to how you or I might …

we pray to grow close to God
we pray to confess our sings
we pray to share our burdens
we pray to ask God to answer our prayers

After awhile, a nun dares to ask the question that they all have poised on the lips,

“why do we pray?”

To which Chittister responds,

“we pray because the bells ring.”

“Bell” by Serhii Korniievskyi

To be obedient to the bell, to the ritual of praying (just) because the bell rings, is to ensure that we do pray, that we are obedient beyond desire … for desire can be fleeting, for we can be fickle. To be obedient to the bell is to ensure that whatever mood, whatever circumstance,

we pray.

Perhaps it is time to set a new reminder on my phone.

“To pray only when it suits us is to want God on our terms. To pray only when it is convenient is to make the God-life a very low priority in a list of better opportunities. To pray only when it feels good is to court total emptiness when we most need to be filled. The hard fact is that nobody finds time for prayer.”
– Joan Chittister

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Through it All

Posted in GOD, WONDER, tagged #horatiospafford, #itiswell, #kristenedimarco, #throughitall, blindeyedfaith, Faith, Trust on May 24, 2016| 6 Comments »

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What is it that can cause a man who has lost almost every earthly blessing to pen it is well?

My most favourite hymn of all time is the haunting story of the blind-eyed faith of Horatio Spafford’s It is Well.

No doubt the story of Spafford writing it, when crossing the Atlantic, at the place where his four daughters drowned (after previously losing his young son to death, and experiencing his financial ruin in the great Chicago Fire) only enhances the significance of it’s meaning.

When I am faced with life-shaking struggles, or mountain-high obstacles that seem impossibly unmovable, or when I just cannot seem to see what is around the next corner, I am confronted with the question,

can I still sing, it is well with?

And I do sing it, sometimes with expectant joy, more often through clenched teeth, robotic.

God does not ask for me (us) to be a mannequin-like worshipper, he wants my (our) gritty heart-broken soul. He wants me (us) to understand what faith is, “the confidence of what we hope for, the assurance of what we do not see” (Hebrews 1:1).

Following this definition of faith are reminders of the those who have lived with blind-eyed faith (Noah, Abraham, Moses, Rahab etc.). The chapter ends with these words:

“These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” (Hebrews 1:39-40)

If we can have the confidence in our God, that he sees and knows what we do not. If we can hold to his promises, that he has something planned that we might not even live to see. If we can trust in his love for us, then it is well, with our souls.

Though the song below is not Spafford’s version, it holds that same blind-eyed assurance of his faithfulness to us.

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Getting Rid of What is Not Good

Posted in WONDER, tagged #cutaway, #dead weights, #fullyreiliant, #gettingridofwhatisnotgood, #joel2:25, Dead, Faith on January 16, 2015| 4 Comments »

It was months in the waiting … five months, to be exact. I had waited so long that I thought I might just lose my mind! There were more bad days than good. Mornings were a time of fear, not sure what I might have to face, as dawn’s early morning light emerged. Variety was no longer the spice of my life, as I was limited by my weaknesses.

Finally, it was time for …

a haircut.

Last week, I got to sit and have what is dry, lifeless, dead

cut away, tossed to the floor, swept up and discarded in the trash.

I walked away feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.

The old was gone, and I felt like a new woman.

Ever wish you could have other dead weights lifted so easily? Other lifeless parts of your life, left on the floor, only to walk over them on the way out the door, about an hour later?

If only there was a ‘hairdresser’ for …

a downcast heart …

an empty bank account …

an unfulfilling job …

a child with learning challenges …

a marriage of strangers …

an illness or disease …

so that we could walk in, have whatever is ailing us trimmed, cut away, redesigned and walk out again feeling like a new creation, with a fresh start.

There are some who have tried the hairdresser method of getting the life equivalent of a new do. Maybe a divorce would cut away the marriage with split ends? Maybe a second, a third, a seventh glass of alcohol will give a new look to trying life circumstances? Maybe leaving your current job on the floor will give a fresh start?

Is the haircut method, of dealing with the dead stuff in life, the only option? the best option?

Obviously, no one option, for all, is any more appealing or beneficial than one haircut style for all. We were created as individuals, with different lives to live. Not only do we have different lives to live, but we also have the ability to make our own choices in how we will live our lives (and experience the blessings and curses that follow those choices).

All that we share, in regards to our lives, is that we were created to worship our Creator, fully reliant on Him.

It is in recognizing and living in a such a way that we are fully reliant on Him, that we can keep going through the dead, split ends of life …. and put our messy mop lives up into a ponytail … while we wait, in faith, for it to grow out.

The only way for a beautiful braid to be formed is by letting the hair grow … looking ahead, in faith, to the beauty that will come.

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Pity Party on the Highway of Life

Posted in WONDER, tagged #desiresofmyheart, #disappointed, #pityparty, #pitypartyonthehighwayoflife, #psalm13, Faith on September 12, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Can you name something you really want?

I am not talking peace on Earth, or for the males in your house to put the toilet seat down, or to win the lottery. I am talking about wanting something so badly, that your heart aches for it.

In my life, there have been few times when I truly wanted something that badly.

There was that day, late in spring, when hubby and I were discussing how we might spend vacation. For the past five to six years, our family (or parts of it) spent a week on the Oregon Coast, being nurtured physically, spiritually and relationally at a Christian convention center (check out http://www.cbcc.net). For me, this place has been my place of rest and renewal.

But, this year we would not be attending.

Sometimes we do not know what we want, until it is out of our grasp.

As the final decision to not go was made, tears began to fall, uncontrollably, from my eyes. As a matter of fact, whenever our ‘Cannon Beach’ friends asked if we would be there, a hard mass settled in my throat. Whenever emails from ‘there’ were in my email inbox, I would delete before I had to face pictures of the beach. Then the week when we normally would have been there … well, lets just say I did get my fair share of salt water (tears).

There was not a day this summer when I did not pray that God would make a way for us (or at least me 😉 ) to go.

Never in my life had a thing or place been so desired.

Things kind of bottomed out at the very end of summer, when hubby left for his third trip to the East Coast (our native land). I remember driving home, after dropping him off at the airport, and I had my getting real with God monologue (what a gentleman He is, to quietly put up with my pity party). I cannot remember all that I said, but the words “it’s not fair that he gets three trips” do still ring in my head.

After that very real confessional, I had finally let my desires go. And I awoke the next morning, still disappointed, but finally able to let it go.

About a week ago hubby had to call the conference center office on another matter. Out of the blue, the person on the other end asked, “you’re a pastor, aren’t you?”

To make a long story short, they have rooms available to pastors, on the off season … for free. To shorten it more, this past Monday hubby called (as soon as they opened) to reserve three nights. It also happens that we could do it without my having to takes unpaid days off.

I am delighted!

And I am cognizant of the fact that this provision was not something that just happened, but that every detail, down to the timing, was orchestrated by a God who cares about the desires of our heart.

I love Psalm 13. It is not a joy-filled psalm, but a lament … kinda like my getting real with God monologue. The Psalmist is feeling forgotten, ignored, and is throwing his very own pity party

… who cannot relate to hosting such an event?

Unlike myself, when the psalmist, David, comes to the end of his rant, he seems to take a humble posture, committing his trust in the mercy of God, thanking Him, ahead of time, for how bountifully God has/will deal with him.

And that is faith in the unseen, in the things to come.

“I will sing to the Lord,
for he has dealt bountifully with me!”
Psalm 13:6b

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In this World …

Posted in WONDER, tagged #earthquake, #ebola, #epidemic, #inthsworld, #isis, #john16:33, #planecrash, #tribulation, Faith, trials on August 10, 2014| Leave a Comment »

What a summer it has been in our world.

in this world

Planes have fallen from the skies.

you will have

Belongings and bodies of fallen aircraft pillaged.

tribulation

Governments have fallen.

but

Countries taken over.

take heart

Bombs dropped upon cities.

People buried under their homes, rocked by an earthquake.

have

The right to exist of one group threatened by another.

overcome

A deadly viral disease epidemic.

the

Christians in a town taken over by terrorists are told to “leave, convert or die”.

world.

God, we trust that you have overcome the world, but we are … human. We cannot see the big picture of life and of the events in our world … we see only today, and today looks ominous, scary, hopeless. God, please be with the sick, the homeless, those who mourn, those who are hungry and thirsty, those who are threatened, those who are being forced to choose their love for you over their very life. Lord, help our faith that you have overcome the world to increase.

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Fish and Bread, Anyone?

Posted in WONDER, tagged Faith, fish and bread anyone, John 6, loaves and fishes on December 27, 2013| 1 Comment »

Holy multiplication

As I spoke to that mom, on Christmas Eve, she shared her own loaves and fishes story.

Things had been tough financially … really tough. Every cent was going into bills, mortgage, fuel for the vehicles and groceries … and the New Year was not looking much better.

Oh, corners could be cut, and pennies could be pinched, but providing the usual Christmas trimmings for the kids was looking impossible to this mom.

As I stood facing her, on the 24th of December, her smile was wide, and a magical light emanated from her eyes.

Generous gifts of money had been sent from the grandparents to be divided among their adult kids and grandkids. So, the mom set to work, spending the expected amounts on the kids, from the grandparents. What remained, that which was intended for she and her husband, she used to buy stocking stuffers and gifts.

In her heart and mind, Christmas was saved, by the generosity of her the grandparents, as well as by God, who from her perspective, orchestrated the provision of every penny. Her words to me were, “I didn’t even have any loaves and fishes, yet my nothing was multiplied in the most miraculous ways.”

Oh, there was nothing under the tree for this mom and her husband, but her mother-heart was full of excitement and joy, that nothing in a gift bag or shiny paper could fulfill. She knew in her heart that what she had received :

came from a God who cared even about stocking stuffers
was the gift of giving

The model of giving was provided by God … He gave. As Christ-followers we are to follow His example … we give.

And so we are encouraged to share, to give …

not from our excesses,

from our want, and in the anticipation of God’s provision.

It’s a thing of faith, not of sight.

“When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

After the people saw the sign Jesus performed, they began to say, “Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.”
John 6:5-14

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Turn Your Eyes …

Posted in christmas, WONDER, tagged afraid, boat, Disciples, eyes, Faith, Hope, loaves and fishes, Matthew 14, peter, sea of galilee, the gateway to the soul, turn your eyes, walking on water, waves on December 12, 2013| 1 Comment »

The other day in my post, The Gateway to the Soul , I wrote about our eyes being the lamp of the body. Today I am focusing again on eyes.

In our household we have a variety of eyes. There is our ‘faux son’ (an International student who we parent while he is here) from China whose eyes are a deepest brown, almost to the point of black. My oldest daughter, son and hubby all have blueberry eyes, simply the bluest blue I have ever seen. My younger daughter and I have eyes that, although are blue, can change color, depending on our moods and what colors we are wearing.

There is not much sweeter thing in life, for me, than to look into the eyes of those I love, and see them staring back at me … of course if we are in the midst of battling each other we are still eye to eye, but it is not so pleasant.

Looking into another person’s eyes is truly an intimate act.

In the Bible’s story of Peter walking on the water to Jesus, we get to see the power of eye contact.

So, the disciples are out in a boat, after attending to more enormous crowds who had come to see Jesus … and they didn’t pack a lunch! But Jesus had compassion on them, and worked His magic, and voila … from two loaves and five fishes, a meal for five thousand!

Back to the boat … images

Jesus sent His twelve out in a boat on the Sea of Galilee, and he climbed back up to hill to pray, and be alone with His father (aka. Father-Son time), saying He would meet up with them later. I have to say, I really wonder how the twelve thought that He was going to meet up with them? Surely they did not expect Him to come prancing on top of the water? What were they thinking?

Later that night, they see a really bright light out on the Sea. Remember this is before lighthouses, so this was not a normal sighting! They thought it was a ghost, a spirit … something not good.

Jesus identified himself. Then Peter, oh Peter, said something like, “if it’s really you, tell me to come to you,” so Jesus invited him to catch some waves.

Peter stepped out of the boat, and was actually doing it, he had heard Jesus words, looked to where He was, and stepped out of the boat, “but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” (Matthew 14:30). Peter could not have “seen” the wind if he had not taken his eyes away from those of his Savior. His little faith was not in his fear, it was that he moved his eyes off the one who could calm the storm inside of him.

How often do I take my eyes off the one who can keep me afloat? In my relationships? My finances? My future? When I keep my eyes fixed on my only hope, I stay afloat. Bad things still happen, but I have the constant reminder that if my eyes are on Jesus, I will not drown.

When we can look into the eyes of another, we are trusting our view to the other person, we are in a sense making ourselves vulnerable, giving our time and attention to the other person. Looking into another person’s eyes is truly an intimate act.

images-2

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” … And You Became Mine”

Posted in WONDER, tagged 2 Samuel 7, Abraham, all for jesus, blood, covenant, David, Exodus 24, ezekiel 16:8, Faith, Galatians 3, Genesis 17, Genesis 22, God's promise, Hebrews 8, Hebrews 9, Moses, Noah on October 9, 2013| Leave a Comment »

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A covenant is more than just a promise. A covenant is something agreed upon by at least two parties … both knowing what they are agreeing to.

The Bible speaks of a handful of covenants between God and people.

God made a covenant with Noah that He would never again destroy the Earth with a flood (Genesis 9:8-11), and gave the rainbow as a reminder of his covenant.

“By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith.” Hebrews 11:7

God made a covenant with Abram (later Abraham) when He said that Abram would be the “father of many nations” (Genesis 17:4).

Poor, old Abram, with his old wife Sarai (well beyond childbearing years) … this covenant sent Sarai into laughing hysterics. But, God did as he promised, and Sarah bore Isaac to Abraham, and God’s covenant flowed through his descendants.

By faith Abraham fulfilled his end of the bargain, and he went where God sent him (Hebrews 11:8). By faith, Abraham was circumcised, along with all males in his household, as a sign to set he and his descendants apart (Genesis 23:27). By faith, Abraham lay Isaac on an alter, willing to do whatever God asked of him (Genesis 22:8) … and so thankful that the Lord did provide.

God made a covenant, through Moses, with His people (not all people, but the children of Israel … the Jewish people), in the form of the Ten Commandments. This came after God, with force, brought His people our of slavery in Egypt. Before Moses had even written these laws in stone, the people, by faith, said, “everything the Lord has said we will do.”

And after he read the Book of the Covenant, Moses took the blood of young bulls that were sacrificed as offerings to God, and “Moses then took the blood, sprinkled it on the people and said, “This is the blood of the covenant that the Lord has made with you in accordance with all these words.”” (Exodus 24:8). The people, who, by faith, said “we will obey” were, quite literally, covered by the blood of the covenant … their sins were covered by God’s promise.

God made a covenant with David, that the Messiah would come through the lineage, the house, of David. David wanted to build a house for God. Instead, God sent a message to David, a house would be built, through the One who would come after him, through his very own bloodline. This builder “is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his father, and he will be my son” (2 Samuel 7:13-14). David responded to God: “your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant” (2 Samuel 7:28) … David trusted his God, he had faith, that that which God promised, and David would never see in his lifetime, would come true.

Over and over we see that when it comes to a covenant with God, the equation is :

Covenant = Blood (Faith + Promise)

I suppose we should consider that fulfillment of God’s covenant with David :

“The days are coming, declares the Lord,
    when I will make a new covenant
with the people of Israel (the Jews)
  and with the people of Judah (the Gentiles).
I will put my laws in their minds (not just knowing, but understanding)
  and write them on their hearts (intimacy).
I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.
(Hebrews 8:8-10)

A new covenant, “has appeared once for all at the culmination of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of himself” (Hebrews 9:26). Previously, “the law required that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22). Jesus Christ was the final blood sacrifice for sins. “He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit” (Galatians 3:14).

Jesus’ blood covers God’s promise and our faith.

And now, our part in the covenant:

Do we have the faith to follow, and obey? to be His?

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This Side of Heaven

Posted in WONDER, tagged Children, deidra riggs, Faith, jumping tandem, Parenting, the fullness of our faith, this side of heaven on September 8, 2013| Leave a Comment »

The guest post today is written by Deidra Riggs, whose blog Jumping Tandem is where I read this post that I want to share with you.

Deidra describes her blog as “a company, or a ministry, or a project, and this blog is where it all got started. I write about life as I see it. Most of the time, I’m just trying to figure it out. But always, I’m saving a place at the table for you.”

She is a mom, wife, dog owner, writer, speaker and event planner.

In the post I am sharing here today, which she calls “The Fullness of Our Faith“, Deidra speaks to my mother heart. I get her, where she is coming from, and I think that you will too.

“Where do you think he is, spiritually?” she asks me.

We are vacationing together, and we’ve decided on fried rice, egg rolls, and stir-fried deliciousness for dinner. We sit in the restaurant, our plates half empty, the sun inching its way toward the horizon. She is asking me about my son.

No one asks these questions about my daughter.

If I’m not careful, I fall into the very same trap. I look at my daughter, a youth pastor at a gigantic church on the east coast, and I don’t think twice about “where her heart is.” On the other hand, Christmas Eve may be the last time my son went to church.

You’d think you could figure out a thing like this, simply by looking at a person’s life.

In the restaurant, I give a long-winded answer. I tell the questioner about David Kinnaman’s research regarding people the age of my children — 18-29 year olds, raised in church, but more than half of whom have decided church is no longer the place for them. I’m telling her about nomads, prodigals, and exiles when my husband says, “But what’s your answer?”

My husband always sees right through me.

“He believes in Jesus,” I say. All I really needed to say was those four words. Why had I said so much?

We finish dinner and pay our bill. We climb into the SUV and we make a few more stops along the way to our resting place for the night. And all of it still niggles at me.

“It must be hard to be a parent,” my son said to me one day last summer.

My mind was spinning, trying to figure out, of all the difficult elements of parenting, which one was front and center in his mind.

“Why do you say that?” I asked him.

“Well,” he began, “I imagine you have this kid, and right from the beginning you have hopes and dreams for how that kid will live his life. But the kid grows up, and that kid has a mind of his own, and he ends up doing his own thing and living life his own way. And it’s not anything like what you imagined.”

I remember being speechless.

“That must be hard,” he’d said into the space between us.

I remember that conversation with my son as I sit in the SUV, with our vacation companion. I think about my daughter, and about all the ways we each are still growing up. How we never really reach the fullness of our faith this side of heaven, I don’t think.”

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