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Posts Tagged ‘I deserve’

images-1I HATE waiting!

Convinced that at some point in my life I must have prayed for patience, and God is now cursing blessing me with regular experiences that will test my patience, I now avoid praying for patience, like the plague!

Within our family there are members who are natural tools in God’s hands to do this in my life. ‘Someone’ regularly makes me wait to leave for school/work in the mornings. ‘Someone’ else makes me wait to return borrowed money. ‘Someone’ else makes me wait to return text messages. And ‘someone’ else makes me wait … for everything!

UGH!

Just recently I thought I would explode if I had to wait much longer for something deeply desired, something I felt I deserved, and yet all indicators were that my only guarantee was that I would need to continue waiting, and that there was a good chance that what I was waiting for might not ever be mine in this life.

Anger and bitterness started to really pervade my thoughts.

“But, I deserve this”

“But, I have followed the rules”

“But, but, but …”

As I was having my pity party I kept hearing in my heart, “what is your purpose in life, Carole? To please Me, or to be pleased by others?”

UGH!

How do I respond with “well to be pleased, of course” to one who sacrificed His Son … for me?

And so I was brought back to my purpose, to not just please, but to live for Christ. To love Him, and to love His creatures … even the ones who make me wait!

So, while I wait, through the seasons that might never end in this life,

“I will serve You
I will worship
I will not fade
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait
… though it’s not easy …”

“Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.”
Psalm 27:14

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