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Cookie decorating with the fam and friends recently had me thinking, what is love?

Media, entertainment and even some of our philosophers of the day (aka Therapists, Life Coaches, celebrities, etc) would have us believe that it is warm and fuzzy feelings that make us ‘glow’ with good feelings and only experience agreement, affirmation and acceptance all of the time. You know, basically whatever feels good for you, for me.

I say love is so far from self.

Anyone who has pursued life-long love with other human beings (from spouses to parents, to kids, to neighbours, to friends) knows that love is far more complex, diverse and dirty than all that fluff stuff.

I think most of us pursue love to not be alone.

This is unfortunate for the parents who pour all of themselves into their children (and, lets face it, this is what most of us do) and then, when their children have grown and get their own lives (you know, what we bring them up to do) our nest is empty and we are lonelier than before.

Many of us pursue love for how it makes us feel … those warm and fuzzy feelings that are so sweet to lull us to sleep, but no one on this Earth can make us feel like that day in and day out … nor can any of us make another feel that way in the long term.

How many of us have heard people say that they love someone because they share so much in common? If commonalities are the only foundation of our love for another, it will implode when, inevitability, divergent views emerge.

Love is that which we have to work for, with and in spite of. Love trumps disagreement over politics, religion, philosophy or behaviour. Love is hard to maintain, a struggle of constant personal effort, and, sometimes, doesn’t even get reciprocated. Love is not dependent on what another does for us, it is only dependent on our own will and commitment.

“Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
(The Message)

 

 

 

 

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