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Posts Tagged ‘#mommapride’

  
First off I want to say that I believe that moms of young kids (birth to the beginning of kindergarten) have the most difficult job in the world. They are at the mercy of their children when it comes to sleep, exercise, eating and taking a shower. Their job is 24-7 with rarely a bathroom break, let alone vacation.

As I look back, those were the most difficult, the most tiring, the most stressful parenting years so far.

So, as you read what follows, please keep what is stated above, in mind.

When generations before me, were moms of young children, and we had one of those days, we would debrief with another mom, our hubbies, or our own moms. That debriefing was, and is, an important survival tactic when our children are young. We need to talk it out, seek solutions and maybe even simply gripe about our really bad, horrible, no good day, so as to purge it from within ourselves. That is a good thing.

The moms of today have another means of debriefing from the difficulties of child rearing … social media, and, specifically, FaceBook.

The exception of a bad day (or week, or ever phase) can lead us to seek the easiest methods of getting the tension, the frustration and the heartache out of our systems, and FaceBook can be that quick and easy method of purging.

Unfortunately, what is easy to forget, when we are posting our frustrations with our kids (or husbands, or other family members, or bosses) is that what we post today, is forever in print.

Let me repeat that:

what we post today, is forever in print.

Imagine your now cranky toddler, one day a grown teen/adult searching your name on the web … what words will they see, written by mom (or dad) about them? What message will they receive? What legacy are you leaving them?

Please know, I KNOW how difficult parenting can be, especially in those years of vomit, toilet training, items being flushed down the toilet, sleepless nights, bad attitudes, and embarrassing things repeated back to just the wrong person at just the wrong time. But, moms (dads), do we want our temporary frustrations to draw a word picture of how we feel about our kids to be interpreted by our child when they are adolescent? teen? young adult Psychology student (now that is pressure)?

You’ve got the most difficult job in the world, but I know you don’t want the temporary frustrations of today to shadow the beautiful relationships with your kids in years to come … that’s the prize for the struggles of today 😉

May those of you, who are struggling in the trenches today, have someone you can call, text, email or private message, to unpack the frustrations you feel. And may you know that it really doesn’t last forever!

 

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Just a few years ago she donned pink rubber boots, an Ariel the Mermaid bathing suit, and a Montreal Canadians toque on the hottest day of summer.

Today she dons the cap and gown of high school graduation.

My baby girl graduates tonight, completing a year of ‘last times’ with her peers.

As other moms and dads, I am feeling immense pride.

I have worked in her grade off and on since she and they were in grade 7. I heard the same rumours she did, I laughed at the same practical jokes as she, I understood the weight of mourning, as peers experienced divorce, moving away and death. When I attended concerts, plays, field trips, etc., I did so as a mom and as a staff.

I awoke the other day and wondered if she ever felt forgotten, as I have played two parts, worn two hats through her later school years. I’ve been a mom and a school staff member, working alongside of a couple of her peers.

She never seemed to mind, and even agreed to my attending her grad trip this year, as a staff. She has learned, over the years, the art of sharing me … a great accomplishment of kindergarten!

Even tonight I will be a staff, sitting with the staff, adjusting caps and gowns, taking pictures for friends, reminding them all to stand tall, telling them how proud I am of them all.

How does one turn one passion off, and another on?

The thing is, though, my passion for my daughter, has never been turned off, and she has never appeared to be bothered by my split attentions.

And that says more about her than of me, than how I raised her.

She is, and always has been, a fiercely independent one. Just this year, as she seemed to face roadblock after roadblock in her application to the one school, for the one program that she desired to attend, and she met each one with steel-willed determination, sending emails, making calls, jumping through hoops (sometimes the same one over and over again), and asking questions. Then it seemed forever to finally get notice that she got accepted. I am so proud of her!

In the fall she will begin her number one program, in her number one school, along with about thirty-three other students (out of ? applicants). I am so proud of her!

She drove, the other night to visit a close friend, and ask if he would like to attend her graduation. He and she have been friends throughout almost all of her school years. It never seemed to matter to her that there is over sixty years between them. I am so proud of how there is no barrier (age, religion, culture, gender, etc.) to friendship for her!

When she resigned, recently, from her first job, she did so with tears, as she felt so bad to leave them down one staff as their busy season had begun. I am so proud of how strongly she approaches her work responsibilities!

I am proud of her, so very proud of her.

Though my momma guilt is real, I don’t think I damaged her completely, as she is about to study to do the same work I do. So, someday in the future (in the very distant future), she too might be working in the same school as her kids, with split attentions.

When she first got serious about studying towards her SETA (special education learning assistant) certification, I worked hard to dissuade her, for I know what the financial remuneration is for this work. I know that, it is nearly impossible to support oneself on what is paid, and I was scared for her.

But here’s the thing, she is so gifted to work with people with special needs, and I have never met another who is so obviously called to do this job. She will be so much better at this job than I ever imagined to be.

I could not discourage a passion that was conceived in the mind of God, with a purpose far greater than I could ever dream.

And so I will cheer her on tonight, with all the mom pride within me.

 

 

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