Nightmares | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘Nightmares’

Bad Dreams

Posted in WONDER, tagged #baddreams, #sanctusreal, #theredeemer, Nightmares on June 27, 2014| 2 Comments »

GRRR! I hate it when things go bump in the night … and linger on into your day!

I awoke one morning (Saturday, no less) at 6:18am, after a disturbing, realistic, haunting, big, bad dream. And I couldn’t get it out of my head. It was, quite literally, haunting me, shadowing my day, making me edgy … and I did’t like it!

I hate it when that happens (like you didn’t figure that out already). I’ve been awake for over five hours, and my heartbeat is still too fast. I’ve had the joy of going to a school fundraiser, meeting up with lots of people (who I probably communicated poorly with, maybe I was even unfriendly to), opportunities to eat yummy foods, and I am still on edge!

This dream, this nightmare is probably still haunting me, because it originates partly in reality, a reality I just wish would, I wish could be forgotten! But, until senility sets in (and, despite the belief of my kids, it hasn’t happened yet), my memories will simply always be there.

But, it is not just the dream that is driving me around the bend today. It is also me, and the way I think. My kids love to joke with me all the time about how I look for a deeper meaning to EVERYTHING! If you’ve ever seen that YouTube ‘Double Rainbow’ video that’s gone viral … well, my kids like to joke … with their hysterical laughter … “that’s just like you, Mom” (how many hours of labor, how many sleepless night, how many stretch marks … for those … darlings?). But, I digress …

I did awake this morning, from my nightmare dream, disturbed, and wondering WHY did I dream this? WHY did that come to my unconscious thoughts? WHY did God allow those thoughts to invade my mind? I don’t have many answers (other than an afternoon nap, with the hopes that my thoughts will be redeemed), but, I do believe that God can make anything new …

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.

My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

John 10:10

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How I Need You

Posted in WONDER, tagged Creator, he is with us, how i need you, matt maher, memorizing, Nightmares, Psalm 139, Shadows on May 8, 2013| 4 Comments »

A few weeks back I wrote in the post Memorizing by Heart, about challenging myself to memorize Psalm 139.

I had no idea how fantastic this self-challenge would be. The more verses I memorized by heart, the more burned into my soul was the richness and depth of the message of them.

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I knew this recently as I stood among the beauty of creation, feeling a lacking in hope in an area of my day. Standing there, beneath the tall trees, hearing the birds chirp and the squirrels chatter, the message of that Psalm started to flow from my lips, as though an ‘on’ switch was pushed automatically.

“You have searched me Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.”

How comforting those words, which reminded me how intimately the Creator of these tall trees and carefree creatures knows me.

“You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.”

As those words came to my lips I sensed the communication that He is not just with me, but His presence is like a protective, fatherly embrace.

“If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.”

Even when I feel that I am surrounded by doubt, by discouragement, by darkness, He is the light that I can see in the shadows.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”

He has been with me since before Creation, He knows what tomorrow, and every tomorrow after it, holds for me.

” when I awake, I am still with you.”

When the bad dreams, the nightmares of this present day, this season of life that you and I might be going through, and we awake … we will see that He is still with us. He never left our side.

But, before the nightmares end, the words hidden in our hearts can remind us of the promise of His presence … even when our eyes are too consumed by the dark.