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Posts Tagged ‘responsibilities’

*A re-post from three years ago.

The other day, I remembered a song, that was just a song, a few years back. When I say it was just a song, what I mean is that it was a catchy beat, with lyrics that ran so smoothly off my tongue, I didn’t even realize what the song was really about. When I was listening the other day, I decided it could be my theme song!

It is the song Hats, by Amy Grant (wow! I just checked to see how many years ago it was released … it was twenty years ago! Time does fly … but, I digress). The basic idea of the song is that she (the singer) is wearing so many hats … “one day a mother, one day a lover, what am I supposed to do? Working for a living …”

Is that not the musical description of being a woman in North America today? Whether we work full time in, or out of our homes, we are all wearing so many different hats, often many at the same time.

We may or may not be married.

We may or may not have children.

We may or may not have a paying job (or two, or three).

We may or may not have a house and garden that demand our time.

We may or may not have ‘stuff’ to take care of.

We may or may not have church or other places of volunteering and participation.

We may or may not have fitness routines.

We may or may not have hobbies … Ya right! Like we have time for hobbies!!

And then there’s ‘the list’ that we keep updating when we have a nanno-second of nothing else on our minds. I love how this ‘list’ was described and popularized in the movie I Don’t Know How She Does It.

And, on that note, although there are a number of technical flaws in that movie, it is so worth seeing. Watching it, I am sure there were parallels to my own life in a few scenes. It is a movie with real struggles, living in a real life (with some exaggerations … it is a Hollywood produced movie after all), exposing choices and disappointments that real people face every day … and the ending … well, go see it! But, I digress 😉

The list is what we do when we have free time, it is what has become our recreational time … we re-create our to do list, with the hopes that, one day, we will have everything crossed off the list and then we can finally have true recreational time. It is a vicious circle! One that has no end.

Truly it is the list that identifies the hats we wear each day. The hats we must wear, the hats we ‘should’ wear, the hats that others top our heads with, the hats that belong to someone else, even hats that have been handed down from one generation to the next. Our head feels heavy under the weight of them, our shoulders slump, our pace slows. We about to stumble and fall. We need assistance, we need a way out from the weight of all that we must do.

For me, there is only one way to alleviate the feeling of being weighted down by all those hats. And it is not a ‘catchy’ theme song. Reading it even gives me permission, and even strength, to remove a few of the hats from my head. Mostly, it reminds me that there is fresh strength available to me, if I just choose to lift my hat laden head to the one who energizes.

God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.
He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
they walk and don’t lag behind.

Isaiah 40:28-32

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Why does a couple need to get away, alone? In this day and age, it is not like parents have to share their bedrooms, their beds with their children (well, except maybe for some parents of toddlers and preschoolers). We have locks on our bedroom doors, homes of great comfort, and vehicles that can get us away for a few hours at any time … any time that we are both free!

Hubby and I stole a few hours to ourselves this past weekend. He had the entire weekend booked off. Our Chinese students were planning to spend the weekend with relatives in another city, our daughter had plans to have a sleep over with a friend, and hubby was hot on a trail to find a place for our son to go.

After drop offs, errands and appointments we finally fell into our seats at the Greek restaurant we agreed to meet at for a nice, quiet dinner … for two.

And that is pretty much the only detail of our time away together that I am planning to share!

So, why does a couple need to get away, alone?

After this recent brief time away, I can answer it clearly and concisely … intimacy.

In the day to day of life with kids, pets, jobs and so many other responsibilities, survival mode is the one we stay in most of the time. Our conversations are about schedules and driving and issues related to everything but our relationship with each other. Our physical intimacy boils down to a quick kiss on the cheek and need meeting. Our ability to love the other with adoration, respect and desire is hindered by bills, fatigue and interruptions.

Basically we forget why we got together in the first place, while we are in a relationship that can begin to look more robotic than romantic.

After a few hours alone together, our conversations become more deep, more personal, more intimate. We are free to venture into areas such as dreams and fears. We are free to be just one couple, not parents, employees, bill payers, laundry doers, kid drivers, football coaches … just ONE couple.

And in having the opportunity to be alone reminds us of the intimate oneness that was all part of the plan from the beginning, that the two would become one. Not one parent unit, not one property management, social committee, corporation, but one couple.

To miss out on this opportunity of intimate oneness would be a great loss.

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