Posts Tagged ‘Time Alone’

Why does a couple need to get away, alone? In this day and age, it is not like parents have to share their bedrooms, their beds with their children (well, except maybe for some parents of toddlers and preschoolers). We have locks on our bedroom doors, homes of great comfort, and vehicles that can get us away for a few hours at any time … any time that we are both free!

Hubby and I stole a few hours to ourselves this past weekend. He had the entire weekend booked off. Our Chinese students were planning to spend the weekend with relatives in another city, our daughter had plans to have a sleep over with a friend, and hubby was hot on a trail to find a place for our son to go.

After drop offs, errands and appointments we finally fell into our seats at the Greek restaurant we agreed to meet at for a nice, quiet dinner … for two.

And that is pretty much the only detail of our time away together that I am planning to share!

So, why does a couple need to get away, alone?

After this recent brief time away, I can answer it clearly and concisely … intimacy.

In the day to day of life with kids, pets, jobs and so many other responsibilities, survival mode is the one we stay in most of the time. Our conversations are about schedules and driving and issues related to everything but our relationship with each other. Our physical intimacy boils down to a quick kiss on the cheek and need meeting. Our ability to love the other with adoration, respect and desire is hindered by bills, fatigue and interruptions.

Basically we forget why we got together in the first place, while we are in a relationship that can begin to look more robotic than romantic.

After a few hours alone together, our conversations become more deep, more personal, more intimate. We are free to venture into areas such as dreams and fears. We are free to be just one couple, not parents, employees, bill payers, laundry doers, kid drivers, football coaches … just ONE couple.

And in having the opportunity to be alone reminds us of the intimate oneness that was all part of the plan from the beginning, that the two would become one. Not one parent unit, not one property management, social committee, corporation, but one couple.

To miss out on this opportunity of intimate oneness would be a great loss.

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It was ‘supposed’ to be a long awaited weekend of romance, of no interruptions, of just hubby and I. It ended up being a weekend of nitpicking.

We had originally planned to go away  w  a  y  back at the end of June, and then I took on a temporary (but intense) short term job. Then it was going to be at the end of July, but the job still was not done. Then it was supposed to be early August, but we had short term international students. Then later in August, but our international kids who were moving in for the school year arrived earlier than expected. Then … well, it just wasn’t happening.

So, I decided that it was time to plan at least a one night getaway (and to maximize we would be away for two full days plus one night). I booked a day off work, I reserved a hotel room, I organized our kids lives and transportation, and I let hubby know that he would need to be ready to leave on Friday morning.

When ones hubby doesn’t have a ‘fill in’ at work, when one goes away, it means you do not leave until the job is done (sigh), so we didn’t quite get away right after taking the kids to school, as hoped … more like later morning. Then, there was a line up at the border (it was a day off for most schools, so everyone wanted to cross border shop) which meant we didn’t get over the border until after noon.

Finally, at about two in the afternoon, we were in our destination city, having a lovely lunch.

Less than twelve hours later, I received the first of many related calls, that ended our getaway, and it was lousy.

What I really mean to say, is that at least one of our five kids at home had creepy crawlies in and on their hair. They were scratching up a storm, and feeling really buggy. Yes, that is right, a lice infestation!

So, we instituted a group calm (over the phone), and suggested a quarantine of sorts for all, from all else. Then, we migrated back to our home and native land.

This was a somber, sad, disappointed sort of drive home … our time of relaxation, rejuvenation and being alone had been cut short 😦 and we had to face creepy crawlies on our return home.

On return we discovered that not one, but two kids were crawling to see us! So, we did what the experts said to do to the live and nitty pests, and the disinfecting laundry was underway by before 5pm Saturday evening.

On Sunday morning, there was nothing living on or in anyone’s hair 🙂 We were so thankful that the torture was short lived.

By 7am, on Monday morning, I was putting the last load of laundry into the dryer, feeling thankful that we were truly at the end of this recent adventure.

As our household awakened, I did another head check, from first awake to the last, expecting it to be just a confirmation of what I already was convinced of … the lice were a thing of the past. WRONG! Suffice it to say that I am so very thankful that hubby could arrange his schedule, and stay home with the ones whose creepy crawlies made a miraculous return from the dead, to delouse and to … do more laundry.

All that to say, hubby and I did get away, and we did have a full twenty fours hours together, and 😉 he is so not a lousy hubby.

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