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Posts Tagged ‘restless’

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Sometimes I revert back into my childhood … okay, often, often I revert back into my childhood.

As the days slowly moved along last week, I could feel it approaching like a freight train … the coming of Spring Break.

My days would alter between fatigue and strong indicators of ADHD. It was like the nesting phase of a pregnancy, when a woman gets restless in body and mind and so keeps herself busy with (often over-the-top) preparations for what is to come.

It was not a time of unproductively, but of distractibility, anticipation and restlessness.

My mind was dreaming of one thing … rest.

So, how did I spend my first day of rest? Well, I sanded a dresser of course.

It’s a dresser I have been hired to paint, and I couldn’t wait to get at it. Actually, I have a dresser, a dining table and a corner shelf that are part of that order. I also have three chairs, a bed table and maybe even more furniture that I hope to refinish over the break.

Rest?

Ah, yes. That is rest for me. It is rest for my soul.

To have the freedom to utilize the creative side of my brain.

To work to the silence of the space.

To hear only the voice of God.

To see transformation occur at my hands.

This is rest for my restless soul.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.”
Psalm 62:5-8

 

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2bc3abe82665c398b6122684f92840b1As I was writing this post, I was reminded that I had written something similar about the way I was feeling once before, and when I searched through my posts what I found was a post called https://itsawonderfilledlife.net/2012/04/12/the-day-i-wanted-to-run-away/. What I thought that was interesting was that it was written almost exactly one year ago … to the day. Maybe this ‘feeling’ is a new form of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Another spring day, and another restless heart.11bd7c4a29807b4148a15098f7b39665

This time, though, I was not so much desiring to run away as I was desiring something fresh, something new, something … more.

It is a restless heart that reminds me I am not easily satisfied, or content, with life as it is … a condition that makes being married to me, or living with me, no easy thing!

It is when I am restless that I most desire change on a big scale.

I desire to quit my job, change my job, change my career, go back to school …

I desire to renovate our home, or sell our home and move to a much cheaper condo, a fixer-upper, a rental …

I desire to diet, run, start an exercise program, eat more chocolate …758ba8d2ec6f00e890924954018323ee

I desire to spend more time with hubby, with friends, with my kids, alone …

I desire to move to a new house, a new city, a new life …

I desire … more.

It is when I am experiencing this restless heart that status quo is more boring, annoying, depressing …

I echo the words of Vivien Leigh, who said, “I cannot let well enough alone. I get restless. I have to be doing different things. I am a very impatient person and headstrong.” Especially headstrong …

Then I remember … this restlessness is not all bad.

Because I am restless I am not going to be content with things as they are, I am restless because I have been created for …

MORE than this!

And in this … more … my restless heart finds … rest.

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