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Posts Tagged ‘weaknesses’

We all have different definitions of who we are depending on what image we desire to reflect, based on our stage in life, who we are with, and where we are.

The older I get, the more clearly I see myself, strengths and weaknesses alike. I find I am accepting the real me more every day, and the facades I tried to construct, in past years, are being taken apart. No more trying to be something I am not, no more rejection of who I am, and who I was uniquely created to be.

It’s a good feeling to be more … real.

Maybe it’s my undiagnosed ADD (attention deficient disorder), repressed childhood, or simply immaturity, but I have really struggled, as an adult, with rules and appropriate behavior for certain situations. The worst of which are ProD (professional development) activities at school/work. If they are not interesting, captivating and useful, the demon within me begins to emerge, and all hell breaks loose.

I remember one in particular, when we were watching a video of a very brilliant (and monotone) woman speak about a specific way to assist students who struggle with behavior control. Unfortunately, as boring as her voice was, the excess skin under her arms was … entertaining. And she waved her arms often! So entertaining that I sent a little text to a number if my colleagues in the room, comparing the effect to that of a butterfly in flight. Well, the giggles began … I am surprised I still had a job after that ProD day!

There’s my singing … sigh.

My singing is really bad, but I love to sing. I love to sing while I’m driving, while I’m working on a project, in church. But I am always aware if people around me might hear my voice. Even my kids, when they were really little, would place a finger on my lips to shush me, while singing in church.

Then there’s my sense of humor. I think I am quite witty, humorous. According to my kids … not so much!

Then there’s my horrific grammar … Included in that my gifted-ness to create a run on sentence that could compete with that of any other person on this Earth!

Then there’s my morning coffee addiction …

And, of course, my self-diagnosed ADD.

This emerges as soon as I have more than one brain cell awake, until all of my cylinders cease to fire at night. It seems to be intensifying with each year I live … starting multiple tasks and struggling to remember what I was going to say … mid sentence … which is probably for the best, since I’d lose interest in what the other person had to say, just half way through their response.

At thirty-nine (with almost seven years experience) I can honestly say, I’m okay with the weaknesses, the struggles, the immaturity within me.

There’s room to grow … and I am fully aware of it!

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I love receiving gift cards … especially to coffee shops! They just seem such decadent gifts to receive. They allow me to drive-through for a favorite drink, or take one of my daughters out for a treat … and it is free for me. The best thing is, it is the gift that just keeps on giving, because usually there is still a balance on the card to use at another time.

Recently I was reminded of what gift is better than a coffee gift card.

The other day, a student was excited to see me as he walked into the front doors of the school. I stopped to greet him. With a million dollar smile all over his face, he said he had something for me. An end of the year, thank-you card was placed into my hand. It was handwritten by him … “Mrs. Weaton” written in one corner … his Mom did not help with this card (my last name is spelled Wheaton).

I have to say, seeing the misspelling of my name made me more eager to open and read what was inside, but I was in a bit of a hurry to reach another destination, and had already chatted longer than the time I had. We said our good-byes, and I promised to see him later that afternoon.

I could not wait to open the envelope, and read what he had written inside.

When I did finally have the opportunity, his words filled me with pride in how well he communicated, how neat was his handwriting, how specific the events of the past school year he communicated.

His note was full of reminders (to me) of what he and I, and others, had shared this school year. Even though our schedules were such that we shared so little time together this year, we had shared so much with the little time availed to us.

I smiled as I absorbed each word, my heart filling with each deposit.

My deposits to him were born out of a pay cheque … his deposits to me were born out of thankfulness.

My deposits to him came from my strengths … his deposits to me were born out of his weaknesses.

My reason for working with him was his disability … his reason for writing this note was his abilities.

The words of Paul (2 Corinthians 12: 9) came to my mind, after reading this precious note:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

This note, full of memories and thanks, is far better than any gift card … it is truly the gift that keeps on giving … because there is always a balance still left on this card.

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