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Posts Tagged ‘Wonder’

Dancing Naked in the Garden

Posted in WONDER, tagged Craig and Dean, dancing naked in the garden, Garden, God's story, Jared Anderson, Philips, stuff, the great I am, wallowing, Wonder, Worship on April 22, 2013| 2 Comments »

For the next week, I will be featuring guest posts, as I spend my regular ‘writing time’ preparing for a speaking engagement. If you feel led to pray for me in this regard, I would so appreciate it, and specifically that Pinterest does not pre-occupy my writing time 😉 … I am so weak!

After the rains, when the sun’s rays were shining across my back garden, I made a mistake …

a big mistake!

I slipped on a pair of shoes, and walked out to see what was emerging through the sun-warming soil.

I was looking for wonder, but what I found was wallowing.

As I walked through the calf-high (not a baby cow, although I am trying to shed a few pounds) fresh spring grass (that needed to be cut three weeks ago …), wonder began to fade. My garden is growing, and it needs my attention.

But, alas, the bills need to be paid, the kids need to be driven, the meals, the laundry, the demands …

What I needed was a week off work to get caught up on the things of house and home … or a different home, with a small garden.

I began slouching, feeling the weight of maintaining our ‘stuff’, losing wonder and wallowing in self pity.

Then I came inside, and sat at my computer to write … writing can force me to move my focus to less Earthly, more heavenly things.

I opened YouTube, to research the lyrics of a song I had been hearing more lately.

The writer of this song is Jared Armstrong, previously of Desperation Band, a worship leader and song writer. It has been recently recorded by Philips, Craig and Dean, and is playing on Christian radio increasingly as it’s popularity rises in churches and homes.

Jared says this song came from a desire to be a part of the action of worship …

that the baggage of this life would fall away …

it is just about God’s story, not his/our own stories.

He spoke of wanting to not just stand on the sidelines of worship, distracted or disengaged.

As I listened I felt the weight of my Earthly responsibilities, my garden, my stuff … fall off, relieving me of the heaviness that comes from allowing myself to be heavy laden.

I felt stripped of this world until I was naked and unashamed, and drawn in to God’s story … free to dance naked (like David, so many years ago) in the garden of my Creator.

cherubs-dancing-in-the-garden-of-delights

“This song brings back the desire to be connected to the greatness of God.”
Jared Anderson

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The Cesspool Rant

Posted in life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged cesspool, Ecclesiastes, Kids, maintenance, pool, rant, Shrek, stuff, things, time, Wonder, Work, yardwork on May 28, 2012| 5 Comments »

Spring in our house means one constant, consistent thing … pool repairs!

This is our ninth spring in this house, and every year we attempt to open our in ground pool only to discover that another something needs to be replaced, fixed or upgraded … and I begin to contemplate moving … to a home without a pool.

Oh, I know, after the broken parts have been fixed, after the chemicals have done their miracle and changed the waters color (like a mood ring), when the heat of July and August arrives, I will be diving into that pool with great thanks that we live where we do. For now, I anticipate yet another bill, and wonder just how many hours I have to work to pay it off.

If you have been to our home for a cool dip on a hot day, you might not believe my reference to cesspool. Check out the photo to the right … This dastardly pool not only had a part on the pump that needed to be replaced, but it currently more closely resembles the swamp outside of Shrek’s home than a refreshing, crystal clear place of recreation and rest.

This is the way of owning things … they end up owning us.

I remember, years ago, Bill Cosby had a comic sketch about our ‘stuff’, and how it leads to needing places to store our ‘stuff,’ and how we need to get insurance for our ‘stuff’ in case something happens to our ‘stuff’, and on and on. I now am starting to understand what he was talking about.

Most days I feel as though I am owned by my ‘stuff’ and it is controlling every important decision that I have to make.

If we own a vehicle, we need to maintain it, repair it, protect it. All of that takes time and money.

If we own a home, we also need to maintain it, repair it, protect it. All of that takes time and money too.

So then we need to work more (our time) to make enough money to cover the costs of the ‘privilege’ of having ‘stuff’, and we need to use our ‘free’ time to look after this ‘stuff’ (I personally spent over eleven hours, on a delightfully sunny Saturday, working on our yard and pool ‘stuff’).

In the meantime, as we work to pay for, and work to maintain what we have, we need to remember that our ‘stuff” is not as valuable as the people in our lives. In the spring, we slave for as many hours a week as we work our jobs, to maintain the home and pool that we have so that our children can enjoy these things, and so that we can enjoy our time with our kids … in the summer. All the while, we are presently not with our kids.

I wonder what they would choose? Would they choose big yard and pool over time with mom and dad on a more consistent basis?

It makes me wonder … is it worth it?

Even in the Bible, in Ecclesiastes, it says, “all things are permissible.

It also says, “but not all things are beneficial.”

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2011 in Review … Thanks

Posted in The Hubby, WONDER, tagged annual report, blog, blog stats, dream, Mom, readers, report, stats, therapy, Wonder, Writing on January 3, 2012| Leave a Comment »

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

I received this on New Years Day, and was awed.

I was awed that, since March, when I started posting, there have been over 16,000 views!

I was awed that my posts have been read all over the world!

I was awed that so many people who I know (and many who I do not) have read my words.

As you may already know, I am a nominee for the blogger with the worst grammar ever (and for Queen of the run on sentence). But it was a dream of mine to ‘get published’ and this has been my venue to accomplish that dream. To think that people have actually ready what I wrote is icing on the cake (I was convinced it would only my mother who would read my words … and she is a regular viewer … thanks mom).

It has been wonderful for me to have something that is mine (narcissism creeping out of my pores). This is something I do for myself (and hubby is thrilled that I have chosen writing and not shopping … much better on the finances 😉 ), and I feel that by doing it, I can do all the other things in my life better (I would equate it to the airline instruction to “put your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs”).

As I have sat at my computer each day writing away, I have felt as though I was having a therapy session. I have dealt with frustrations and shared my heart in a way that could not have been done better with a counselor, bar tender or hairdresser (sadly though I do not have great hair to show for it).

I just wanted to take the time, right now, to say thanks for visiting my blog. Make sure you click on the “complete report” if you would like to see who you have been reading with.

Blessings,

Carole

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 16,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Through the Eyes of a Child

Posted in christmas, FAMILY, WONDER, tagged Amazement, Be Still, Children, christmas, Christmas Lights, Five year old, Psalm 46:10, Wonder on December 20, 2011| 2 Comments »

Being on the East Coast allows me the opportunity to see family I rarely get to see, and I’ve had this privilege twice this year.

This past weekend I got to see my youngest nephew. He is five years old (that is a handful of fingers for those of you who have not had the honor of receiving a reply from a five year old, to the question “how old are you?”). He is cute (as a button … what on earth does that mean?), never sits still ( 🙂 love that part), and totally brilliant (and, if you were to ask his grandparents … do NOT do that … a very long monologue will be in your future … and you are not the one talking).

My favorite part of spending time with him was when he said ‘yellow’ … pronounced ‘Lellow’. Could there be anything more preciously perfect than a child who mispronounces words? I love it! How is it that pronouncing a word wrongly could create such delight in my soul?

Everything is exciting for this little guy (and, by the way, I would NEVER refer to him as a ‘little’ guy to his face … he thinks he is an adult). And he even has future plans … romantically. Apparently he has a girlfriend in daycare who he is planning to marry, and if that doesn’t work out, there are other possibilities. Gotta love a guy with options!

While he was at my parents he eyed a snowman decoration (I’ll Be Home for a White Christmas) that he was more familiar with than me. It was a simple, ~~tacky~~ cute ( 😉 ) beaded snowman. And when Little Mister picked him up, and pushed a button, the snowman lit up, in colors that faded from one to another like the colors of a rainbow.

Then, the real magic began.

Little Mister stood there, delighting in the color changes, and the shining of the beads, for the longest time. It was a moment of joy, amazement and wonder. He was captivated by the simple beauty that he created by pushing the right button. So simple, so beautiful … not the snowman, but the reaction of wonder that it caused. He was still.

What captivates me? What makes me stare in amazement? What causes me to wonder … to really wonder to the point of stopping all that I do to be amazed?

This is the season of wonder. This is the season of amazement and captivation. This is the season of miracles and a gift giving so grand that the celebrations have lasted for a couple of thousand years.

But, do we stop long enough to be captivated in wonder? Can we, like that delightful nephew of mine, be still long enough to see the beauty of the light that came down at Christmas time? That is the challenge.

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Wedding Day Memories

Posted in life, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Anniversary, Life, Marriage, Memories, Wedding, Wedding Day Memories, Wonder on September 30, 2011| 3 Comments »

Memories are funny things. There are some details of the past that we remember, and other details are forgotten forever.

Twenty-two years ago today I went to a high school football game. My brother was playing on one of the teams, and my fiance was coaching that same team. It was a perfect autumn day … the sun shining brightly, the air crisp, the leaves on the trees in the early stages of turning from bright green to hues of gold and red. It is a day I remember so well, because it was the day of the biggest argument of our dating relationship … the day before our wedding.

I have no idea what we were arguing about, I can only remember the intensity of the emotions I felt. Obviously, whatever it was that had vexed us was resolved, and the following day I met him at the end of the aisle, where we traded in our individual lives for a future together.

The memories of our wedding day decrease with each passing year. If there are this many fewer memories after twenty-two years, will I even remember that I am married in twenty-two more?

But, what I do remember are the vivid broad strokes of our day.

I remember that our wedding started late, and it wasn’t because I was trying to be fashionably late … our soloist was flying into New Brunswick from Toronto, and his flight was late.

I remember that the pastor we had to marry us thought he was at a preach-a-thon … he spoke for about an hour after the processional, before actually marrying us.

I remember that my mother in law wore gray … much cheerier than the black that her mother wore at her wedding.

I remember that, as I looked at my groom awaiting me at the end of the aisle, he was gray (like his mother’s dress), and looked as though he might pass out … so much for the groom’s look of awe at the brides glowing beauty …

So, not all memories are so sweet 😉 but, alas, my memories of our wedding day were also not all so depressing.

I remember a twinge of regret as my dad ‘gave me away’ to my groom.

I remember how confident I felt as I repeated my vows, and said ‘I do.’

I remember that when my groom slipped his ring (a most simple band) on my finger I could not imagine a more wonderful, a more exquisite piece of jewelery in the world.

I remember gladly signing my name on the marriage license.

I remember driving off to our honeymoon (a trip, by car, of over 3000 miles … one way … and hubby wonders why I have little interest in road trips), reliving the details of the day, together.

The memories of that day fill my mind and my heart at times like this, when we remember and celebrate our corporate survival, and our hope of many years to come.

Happy Anniversary Hubby

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Everything Hurts and I Love it

Posted in life, Nature/Creation, The Beast, WONDER, tagged Bear in Area, Beast, Beauty, Creation, dog, Exercise, Fort to Fort, Life, nature, poo, walk, Wonder on September 26, 2011| 2 Comments »

My first thoughts when I awoke this morning were I don’t know if I can walk to the bathroom, and I need coffee. The two thoughts go together too.

Yesterday, for the first time in over a month, I walked my favorite trail … all of it. It took over two hours, and it was great (it was great to be done, maybe not so great while doing it 😉 ). The weather was hot and humid, the trail was full of walkers and bikers, and we did it … my beast and I.

The poor beast was panting hard on the second half of our walk. Just as her tongue was dripping from her hard panting, I was sweating like a stuffed pig on a spit (was a pretty pair we must have been).

On our first half we did take a few breaks, so that the beast wouldn’t collapse on me (of course there was no danger of me collapsing … ). We would walk down to the rivers edge (which was much farther out than a month ago. Heck it was much farther out than I had ever seen it) so that she could cool off in the water, and get a drink at the same time.

There were many people standing on the rivers edge, fishing. It was a day to be out, a day for people to enjoy what might be a last day of Indian summer. A day to enjoy the beauty and wonder of nature … the sun, the fresh air, the leaf laden trees, and all of the other beauties outside.

As we turned started our second half, we were confronted by the sign to the right … that did not make for a confident walk back! Seriously, I did not need that! I already have paranoid thoughts whenever I am walking in the wilderness (like down my street) about being chased by a bear … I did not need confirmation that they were actually in the same area that I was in! What made it worse was that, shortly after seeing that bright and foreboding sign, I saw a tail on the pathway (and I am sure that it was not there when I passed that way just moments before). A squirrel’s tail … without the squirrel! I was now in a desperate state. So, I did what any well-adjusted, mature, woman in my right mind would do … I texted a picture of the sign to hubby, so that he would know how I died. And his response … was about a half hour later! I could have been bear poop by the time he responded! So much for sensitive, hubby!

Alas, the beast and I did survive the potential of a bear attack 🙂 .

But then, just as I was feeling as though we were safe from calamity, my beast started making all of the signs of needed to poo. And I, of course, was ready! As she squatted, I untied the poo bag from her harness (I know making her wear her poo bags is the equivalent of me wearing toilet paper around my neck, out in public … but, she is a very self confident dog). And when I started to put the bag over my hand … there was a hole in it … at the end (where my middle fingers would be … yuck). Alas, I was like a girl scout, and was prepared for anything! I had two bags! So, I doubled up, scooped up, tied up and we continued on.

We had a very uneventful second half of our walk (minus the anxiety-provoking sign and hole in the poo bag incidents). I am not sure which of us started to sprint-walk once the van was in site, but I know that both the beast and I were overwhelmingly thrilled to see it. The beast settled into the back seat, and did not move again until we got back home.

And we both slept well that night … with our minds full of the beautiful visions of our walk, and the sense of accomplishment of doing something that allowed us to exercise and enjoy the beauty of creation.

And my aching body … it pales in contrast with how wonderfully my soul feels.

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Passion

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Life, Passion, Passionate, Purpose, Wonder on September 16, 2011| 3 Comments »

Someone asked me this week how I can find time to write a blog.

We do have a busy family of seven. There is hubby and I, two daughters, one son, plus the newest arrival of a brother and sister from China, who we also call our son and daughter. I also took on full time work this September. Hubby is a busy, in demand, pastor of a great church family. Our kids are involved in various activities. And … then there is the beast …

So, yes we are busy, and finding time to write a blog is not easy.

But, for me, to take (to make, to carve out) time each day, five days a week, to write … well it makes my days proceed with more ease, more fluidity, more … purpose (and writing forces me to walk, because the opportunity to exercise, breath deeply and enjoy the calling of God’s creation give me wonder to write about). Because I know this to be true, I cannot stop writing, for fear that I will not function as well, as healthily, as … purposeful.

I have discovered that my passion of writing (albeit with dreadfully poor grammar) is something that I must force myself to do, in order to receive it’s benefits. Although the practice of writing makes my heart beat with passion, it is still a habit that I must discipline myself to do, because my love of it is not enough to keep the passion going.

Have you ever been … passionate? I’m not talking about another person (although that is okay too … well, if they feel the same way about you). What I am talking about is the thing or things that make you feel like you are successful, not because of the outcome of doing them, but because of how empowered, how energized you feel while doing them. The thing you do that makes everything else you do in living your life (from making dinner, to wiping noses, to picking up beasty poo) better, more enjoyable.

Within each one of us is a passion, a unique calling in our life to fulfill. For some, it might be their job. For some, it might be a daily task that they love to do (one of my friends loves to clean … go figure … and so she now does housecleaning for others … and I am eternally thankful, every Wednesday … actually, I bet she has another passion … maybe she has been to shy to share it). For some it is a hobby that they share. And, for others a hobby that they do not share. I bet that for most, it is something that they are scared to admit, or don’t know it yet, or … something that they know they like, but they do not make time for it in their lives (like me, for far too long).

I encourage you, from my own experience, seek it out, carve time out of your busy schedule to regularly practice it.

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Missing the Past-Excited for the Future

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Change, Future, Rememberig the Past, School, Students, Wonder, Work on September 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Working as a support staff, in a high school, everything about what is my job can change from one year to the next.

Last year I worked fifty percent, this year I work one hundred percent. Last year I worked with three students, in grades ten, eleven, and twelve. This year I work with five in grade nine, and one in grade eleven. Last year I worked off campus part of my time, this year I work only on campus. Last year worked with my three students, primarily out of class. This year I am in class almost all the time, and assisting all students who need it. Last year two of the students I worked with graduated, this year there will be no graduates among the students I work with.

It was like starting a new job when school began last week (and I am sleeping solidly because of it)!

Since the start of school, I have to say I have been missing last year, and all that was familiar about it. I miss the quick, cheeky tongues of the the older students, I miss interacting with business people to set up work experience opportunities, I miss the interactions with the parents (moms) of the students, I miss the challenge of out-witting the older students who lived to be late to class, or look at life through a half-full cup … I simply miss the individual students … period.

It would be so easy to say … last year was so much better than this one. As is always the case, what we know is more appealing, more comfortable than what we do not know, and what is unfamiliar to us. It would be so easy to start looking at the school year through a half-full cup …

But, a new broom sweeps clean! And my undiagnosed ADD thrives with change, novelty and challenge.

I have been getting to know the personalities and habits of the new students that I work with. I have been able to see how unjaded high school freshmen are to their senior counterparts. I have been getting to know classroom teachers, whose classes I have not been in before (or for a long time). I have been challenged in having to think out of the box in classroom settings, according to what assists the students needs best.

In all of this there is an excitement to this new year! There is a blank slate effect that I get to be there with the students as they begin their high school career.

The other day, one of the students said, “Mrs. Wheaton, will you work with us until we graduate?” And, on the inside, I smiled, because the thought of that excited me immensely. The thought of providing consistency to students who often thrive in consistency gave me something to hope for … for them, but for me too. But, the nature of this job is that change is inevitable, and there are no guarantees of what next year, let alone three years from now, will look like. But, for now, I know that it’s going to be a great year!

And my focus is to begin with the end in mind, so I will work with them as though I will see them through to graduation. And, together, we can learn so much.

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Dark and Stormy

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged Being Held, Dark Days, Feeling down, GOD, Hope, Life, Mandisa, Pain Relief, Stronger, Struggles, Wonder on September 13, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Like all people, I have had ups and downs. There are times when life is lived with exclamation marks, and times when it is lived with question marks. There are times of struggle and there are times when struggles seem a million miles away. There are times when we desire to live forever, and times times when we beg the Creator to take us now (I think I must have been reading Ecclesiastes lately).

Have you ever noticed that when things are going well, you rely on others less? It’s because your needs are simple, and can be met all by yourself … you don’t need anyone for anything.

And then when things are really not going well, we need others, we need help. But, for me, even if I need and even want to rely on others, I struggle to know who and how to ask for help. Heck, I struggle to even recognize that there is help out there.

I was reminded of this the other night when hubby and I were out to a restaurant for dinner. As we were talking to our server, she mentioned that she was having pain in her back, that had been keeping her from sleeping at night. When I mentioned a product that I had found to be helpful in the past, she said, “of course! I have used that in the past. I guess I was thinking so much about the pain, I couldn’t think of a cure.”

As she continued talking, I found my mind thinking about her statement, “I was thinking so much about the pain, I couldn’t think of a cure.” And I found myself thinking, isn’t that how it is when we have pain … any pain, in our life? When we hurt, physically, emotionally, spiritually … in any way, the pain takes over our thinking, our reasoning, our troubleshooting abilities. And we often fail to see the cure, the help, the solution for the pain (or at least ways to ease or lessen it).

When our pain is not a physical pain, we need a pain reliever that is specifically suited for that need. What we have to do to relieve our non-physical pain, is to allow ourselves to be held, to be embraced by someone … bigger, stronger.

For a child, there is no greater pain relief than the warm embrace of his or her mother, and father. It always amazed me how my child’s tears would disappear when I held them. In the same way our spiritual father can wipe away our tears, when we allow ourselves to be taken in by his warm and loving embrace.

Just like when I hold my suffering child, the holding may not take the suffering away. But what being held by creator God does, is that it allows one who is so much stronger, so much bigger, to hold us, comfort us and soothe our weary hearts. His arms around us, His presence in our lives reminds us that the Creator of heaven and earth cares about our heart aches.

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BO = Boys Only and Body Odor

Posted in life, The Kids, tagged BO, Body Odor, Boys Only, Hot Dogs, Life, Old Spice Guy, Wonder on September 12, 2011| 3 Comments »

Today’s post title adequately describes the birthday party held at our home last week. Thirteen boys with an average age of twelve equals a loud, smelly, testosterone-filled three hours (and an Ibuprofen sized headache for mom and dad 😉 ).

Once again I was reminded how very little I know and understand about boys. They are like a different creature than any other … man, woman, female child … and then there are … boys … A creature totally unto their own.

First off was how they grow at this stage. Now I had been noting growth in my own boy in a significant way over the summer. He must have grown a couple of inches! But some of his friends … they have grown FEET! It was surreal! I walked them to my van, after school, feeling as though I was walking in the company of giants.

Then there was the … scent of a van full of boys of this age … Oh Mr. Old Spice guy, how I longed for your scent (now that I think of it, I should have utilized the opportunity to give them the party loot bag gift of antiperspirant … necessity is the mother of invention … and those boys, they had need! But, I digress!).

At home they truly seemed to me to be trying to end each others lives, while playing in the pool. I was certain that my pool water was full of psychopaths (and probably full of pee too … thirteen boys in pool for almost two hours, and only two got out to take a leak … yuck! And this is why, as soon as they went home, we shocked the life … literally … out of the pool water). But, according to hubby, this is what boys do. And they were (according to hubby) having great fun. I am so glad that I am female! (and I am even more glad that we have TWO daughters and ONE son …).

When the gourmet birthday meal was completed, they arrived at the table. And when the … hot dogs … were set before them, one would have thought it was an Ethiopian banquet. I never knew that it was humanly possible for three dozen hot dogs to disappear so quickly (1. ‘human’ … maybe I am overestimating things when I refer to them as that. 2. Darn! I knew I should have videoed the event … I am sure the rapid disappearance of the hot dogs could have won me big money on ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’).

Then gifts … again boys and girls are different! Girls give gifts … boys give cold hard cash.

Finally the cake (they all wanted an icing-laden corner piece). But what they really wanted was to return to the pool. So, off they and their full tummies leapt into my pool (at first I was a little worried that the inhalation of weenies might result in … ‘floaters’ in my pool. But then I remembered that they ate them so quickly that surely if they were to rise again in their digestive track, they would certainly still be all in one piece 🙂 so I could just scoop them out of the pool and they could return to murderous acts against each other).

And then … their parents arrived 🙂

and took their boys home 😀

and hubby and I dropped into our comfy chairs vowing to re-think boy birthday parties … not really 🙂

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