As I was writing this post, I was reminded that I had written something similar about the way I was feeling once before, and when I searched through my posts what I found was a post called https://itsawonderfilledlife.net/2012/04/12/the-day-i-wanted-to-run-away/. What I thought that was interesting was that it was written almost exactly one year ago … to the day. Maybe this ‘feeling’ is a new form of Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Another spring day, and another restless heart.
This time, though, I was not so much desiring to run away as I was desiring something fresh, something new, something … more.
It is a restless heart that reminds me I am not easily satisfied, or content, with life as it is … a condition that makes being married to me, or living with me, no easy thing!
It is when I am restless that I most desire change on a big scale.
I desire to quit my job, change my job, change my career, go back to school …
I desire to renovate our home, or sell our home and move to a much cheaper condo, a fixer-upper, a rental …
I desire to diet, run, start an exercise program, eat more chocolate …
I desire to spend more time with hubby, with friends, with my kids, alone …
I desire to move to a new house, a new city, a new life …
I desire … more.
It is when I am experiencing this restless heart that status quo is more boring, annoying, depressing …
I echo the words of Vivien Leigh, who said, “I cannot let well enough alone. I get restless. I have to be doing different things. I am a very impatient person and headstrong.” Especially headstrong …
Then I remember … this restlessness is not all bad.
Because I am restless I am not going to be content with things as they are, I am restless because I have been created for …
MORE than this!
And in this … more … my restless heart finds … rest.
