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Archive for August 7th, 2014

I am a bit of a people watcher (my lovely family might call me a busy body … they are so precious).

I love nothing more that to watch a young couple totally mesmerized by each others eyes. Or a father playing, fully engaged, with his child on a field. Or a mom entranced by the wee body of the newborn in her arms. Or an elderly couple, frail with age, but young at heart with love and care for each other.

These bits of voyeurism, on my part, help to keep wonder in my heart.

Watching men watch women, but particularly older men watching very young women (girls), erases wonder from my being, and makes me aware that there is definitely darkness in our world.

Now I am not talking about a man who sees a pretty lady (young or older) and his head turns (naturally), and then he turns back to whatever he was doing. I am talking about a man whose head turns, and he keeps looking, and the look on his face, for anyone watching, is not a look of that addresses his admiration of her appearance, but of his thoughts undressing her body.

When I was young, I was totally and completely oblivious to this. It was not until our oldest daughter started entering adolescence, that I started becoming aware of this phenomenon.

My daughter and I, her friend and her mom, were heading to the mall for the girls to have their ears pierced. Both had been give a benchmark age at which they could add more holes to their heads, and they were eager to don their genuine rhinestones on their earlobes. As the four of us walked through the mall, I started to notice that men were looking at us, and by ‘us’ I mean our daughters (who were ten or eleven, at the time). Not ALL men, and not even most, but a good number of, over forty, men. I started to become enraged!

Now, when I am in public with my daughters, I am on the lookout! And, like any self-respecting momma bear, I scowl, and have even been known to growl, when someone looks at them like they are prey. I do find though, that even more effective than scowling and growling is staring them down … there is nothing better than to see the look of guilt in their eyes, before they dart them far, far away from MY cubs!

But, I know that there are many other cubs out there in the mall, and many, if not most of them, do not have momma bear with them. Sometimes, after such an incident, I pray over, and over, and over in my head ‘please God, protect other mothers daughters who might be viewed as objects by the darkness lurking around this place.’

Just the other day I was in a restaurant with my daughter. As we enjoyed our time together, I noticed a man (in his sixties) sit down at the table behind my daughter. I watched him as he watched the … eighteen year old waitress (if that), walk from table to table. And he was not hiding his thoughts from his eyes! She took his order of toast, poured his coffee, and he said something I could not hear, with a sickening look in his eyes. As she moved towards the kitchen to place the order I wondered how he was containing himself from jumping from the table and tackling her (it was THAT obvious). Finally, he felt my eyes, directly on him … GOTCHA! Guilt, not from his actions, but from being caught (my interpretation) filled his face. Within less than one minute, he stood, and walked out of the restaurant … before his order arrived.

Did I feel I had ‘won’? No, there are many places where could get his fill of visual entertainment, from other restaurants, to the malls, to the playground, to the church. But, I did make him aware (I hope) that his ‘dirty little secret’ can be seen by others.

Now, please do not get me wrong, I am NOT a man-hater! I am simply not favorable, or understanding, of behaviors that ‘give in’ to natural responses. Sure, we all have natural responses, but not everything that is ‘natural’ is beneficial! That is why we strive to teach self control to our children …

What goes on in the mind of a sixty something year old MAN who is ‘peeping’ at the body of a twelve year old GIRL? I think it is clear.

And the sad thing is, it is not just those ‘creepy’ looking guys either. Sometimes it is a really nice man, who has lingered his glances far too long, and far too often, and the habit has been cemented into their being. I think that what very gradually occurs, is that their moral compass weakens as their anatomy becomes reliant, and even demanding, on the behavior.

I am not writing this post because I enjoy this subject, but I want to pull this dark thing out into the light to raise awareness, and to put people on the look out for these perpetrators. Look for them, and stare them into human accountability!

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