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Loneliness Happens

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #lonelinesshappens, #seekcommunity, #thisworldisnotmyhome on July 11, 2019| Leave a Comment »

It can creep into our day when we are walking down a crowded street, in the sanctuary, in the middle of the party people or when we are alone with the dark and twisties.

Loneliness is as common a human experience as death and taxes and can occur in the life of anyone, under any circumstances. Whether we are young or old, rich or poor, a scholar or a drop out, married or single or divorced or widowed … loneliness comes to us all.

It is a feeling as well as a response to internal and external circumstances, perceptions and experiences.

There are those times when loneliness can feel like the most inhospitable, horrible thing to experience. For some it can override anything good in one’s life.

For the follower of Christ we can know in our minds that we are not alone (“… remember that I am always with you until the end of time” Matthew 28:20), but sometimes our heart feels things quite differently.

There must be a reason that within our hearts is the capacity to feel so alone, even while we are never alone or apart from our Creator. There are two perspectives that I think could explain our human experience of loneliness.

Scott Sauls (author of ‘befriend’), writes, of loneliness:

“We aren’t lonely because something is wrong with us. We are lonely because something is right with us. Our loneliness is the image of our triune, communal God in us, beckoning us to connect, to know and to be known, to love and to be loved, to befriend and to be befriended.”

In a way he would seem to be saying that our loneliness is the tap on our shoulder, the whisper in our ear to be His hands and feet, to look around and rectify the loneliness of ourselves and those around us. It is the reminder that we need and desire community … that we were created for community, and if the desire is there, so is the wherewithal to seek and find it.

C.S. Lewis said, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

In relation to human loneliness (something so common in our secular post-fall world), what Lewis is saying is that we were never created to be, to feel lonely. We were created for a world where all of our needs are met, because our relationships with God and with each other would be without the stain of sin on our lives.

Loneliness, though commonplace in all of our lives, can be the necessary prompt to seek community. It can also remind us that this is not our home, but one is being prepared for us … that where he is we will one day be as well.

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What ifs in the Middle of the Night

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #psalm63, #whatifs, #whatifsinthemiddleofthenight on July 9, 2019| Leave a Comment »

Anyone else out there a what if kind of person?

What if it rains today … I better take an umbrella.
What if my kid’s alarm didn’t go off … I better make sure they are awake.
What if the dog’s lead came off his harness … I need to be ready to run.
What if a fire starts in the kitchen … I would go out my bedroom window, leap to the tree and climb down.
What if I hear someone break into my home … call 911, turn brightness and volume down on phone and grab can of hairspray … to spray in their eyes.
What if ‘the big one’ of earthquakes happens while we are on the coast … I better know the tsunami route.

Usually, the more intense what ifs have to do with life and death situations, and they usually come to mind around three in the morning.

If I have any tendencies toward and obsessive compulsive personality, it is in the area of what if thinking.

I have recently rediscovered Psalm 63, written by David, while in the wilderness.

There is something about those wilderness experiences that redirects our thinking, reminds us what hunger really feels like and re-opens our eyes to where our help comes from.

Psalm 63 is a great place to go when the what ifs surface in our minds. It is like a protective arm around out shoulders, a comforting lullaby in the middle of the night, a shield of protection covering us.

You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
    and in your name I will lift up my hands.
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;
    I think of you through the watches of the night.
(at 3am)
Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

Those who want to kill me will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God will glory in him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

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What do these Stones Mean?

Posted in Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #reflectionpersperspectivethanksgiving, #whatdothesestonesmean on July 7, 2019| 2 Comments »

Anniversaries of events are wonderful for providing reflection, perspective and thanksgiving.

As I write these words I am reflecting on the events of one year ago. A day that dawned early for us, as I still had a bit of last minute packing to do before the movers were to arrive. That day was full of reflection, perspective and thanksgiving as well, as we packed up a home, a life of fifteen years.

Now, looking back at the day and all the days since, I am full of thanksgiving, for though there were hard days, lonely days, even dark days, never were we left alone without hope.

This remembering brings to mind Joshua 4. This is the story of the Israelites crossing the Jordan, which had parted for them to cross, when the ark was carried across.

I love this story, as it is the completion of the trek to the Promised Land. Though there were two leaders, directing the way (God’s way), both leaders were given a route that required them to go through deep water … the Red Sea for Moses and the Jordan for Joshua.

Moses, as he was dying, told Joshua (in Deuteronomy 31:6) :

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them (those who may stand in their way), for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

This is the same message that Joshua was given from God himself, after Moses’ death (three times in one message from God (Joshua 1:6, 7, 9) :

“Be strong and (very) courageous”

Then, after Joshua took his place as leader, after he spoke to the people and shared the plan, they responded, in affirmation of his leadership, ending with those familiar words (Joshua 1:18) :

“Only be strong and courageous!”

He was their leader … Moses knew it, they knew it, Joshua knew it, God knew it … but this message was was not just theory, not just something to frame and place on the wall. This message was to be the mantra of Joshua, of the Israelites … of us.

Where the rubber hit the road is in the application of the message, for we cannot prove the meaning of strength and courage just when we are on our knees … we have to hold onto the meaning of this message when we are in deep water.

Soon, as Joshua and his followers were approaching the flooded Jordan, they were given opportunity to prove their allegiance to the God of Moses and Joshua … to their God.

As those carrying the Ark entered into the water, it parted, just as the Red Sea. When the Ark had reached the middle point … when they were truly in the deepest place, Joshua gave the Lord’s instruction … to have one from each tribe pick up a stone from the middle of the Jordan.

Once they had crossed the river. Once those carrying the Ark came up from the Jordan, the waters returned to where they had been. Joshua had them lay their stones together, then he piled them … and there was a good reason for this.

The Lord had a reason for instructing Joshua to have them brought out of the river and then piled on the the other side :

“In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” (Joshua 4:21-24)

These rocks/stones were part of the story of going through the place of deep waters, that their descendants would know and fear their God. But also that they would know that the strength and power of God were available to them, and to us, if we would be strong and courageous … not in our own power, but in the power of God.

These stones provide reflection, perspective and thanksgiving for a God who parts the waters.

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Behind and Before

Posted in Walking with God, tagged #behindandbefore, #heavenismyhome, #nothomeyet, #thebestisyettocome on July 4, 2019| Leave a Comment »

While I was scrolling through Instagram images, months ago, I stopped to read what is written, above, and I knew, I knew it was planted there for me, for that very day, that very moment.

When I read it, I wasn’t interpreting it as some sort of prosperity gospel. No, I was reading it as a message from my loving God, who knew I needed the equivalent of someone placing their finger under my chin, lifting my face and saying it’s gonna be okay.

It’s gonna be okay …
That’s the message of the Gospel

There is a saying in this time which says, “there are better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

It is often attributed to C. S. Lewis, and he did say it, but what he was saying was in reference to what is to come once we walk through the shadow of the valley of death. In essence, Lewis was saying,

the best is yet to come

… maybe not in this life on planet Earth, but for eternity with our Saviour.

In our world, our society, our lives today, there is little emphasis on heaven. Perhaps it is a pendulum shift away from the messages of the past that were always focused on eternity. Today we look to the words of Jesus in the Gospels, “the kingdom of God is at hand” and we sometimes interpret that to mean that this very life is the goal, the kingdom … yet, what he was saying was hello, look at me, I am the kingdom of God, I am the goal.

and it is a goal that we, who have submitted to his leadership, share in.

Yet, the gospels also remind us that our current lives are not the be all, end all:

“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:2-3

“Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.” Matthew 5:12

“great is your reward in heaven.” Luke 6:23

Trust God.

Trust your whole entire life to him.

He IS in control.

It will get better!

“The happy ending that God has coming is going to ROCK. YOUR. WORLD!”

“O soul are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior
And life more abundant and free
Turn you eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there
Over us sin no more hath dominion
For more than conquerors we are”
Helen H. Lemmel

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This is His World

Posted in Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged #creationkeepers, #godistheruleryet, #thisismyfathersworld on July 2, 2019| Leave a Comment »

I caught a glimpse of Mt. Baker the other day, as I was driving. Actually it was pretty hard to miss, as it seemed so grand, so close.

Mt. Baker is my ever changing constant on my drive to work, my walk around my neighbourhood, any place that takes me East or South of where I live. Depending on the weather, the season, the cloud cover or so many other variables, it is never the same, from one day to the next.

Yet it is always there, even when my view is obstructed. It is an ever-changing constant.

Ever-changing constant …

a bit like an oxymoron, yet that is what describes Baker, it is also what describes the world we live in, from ecosystems to world events to the very breathing of every living thing.

We, as humans have been tasked with the job of caring for our world and everything in it. That is an enormous task … one that we have frequently failed miserably at achieving.

As I walked down a new trail with the Wonderdog yesterday, I was profoundly struck with thankfulness for all that was around me. The trees bending with the breeze, and shading my path. The flowers and plants that add color, variety. Speaking of colors, the shades and varieties of the color green in the leaves of the trees, shrubs, the grass and smaller plants was amazing. Then we paused as I heard water running through a brook beyond my sight. The feel of breeze on my damp brow. The clear blue sky.

So much to be thankful for!

This morning, while enjoying this walk, I thought how I would struggle to be as thankful in January, when the downpours are a constant. The trees would have no leaves, the ground would be saturated soil, the sky grey with low clouds.

Ever-changing constant.

We watch or listen to the news in our little corner, or around the globe. People, creatures our very earth suffering. This is our father’s world … and it can seem as though we are destroying it, destroying each other.

At lunch the other day we sat and heard refuge stories, from a successful young couple who were so young when they fled with their families to a safe place that their stories are constructed, not from what they remember but from what they have been told.

Ever-changing constant.

We are still responsible for our world, and all that is in it. Though, I struggle to see that God ever intended that humans would rule over each other when, in Genesis 1:26:

“God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

Sin is constant … but God is constant, as well.

Our world is always changing. Like any living thing, it breaths and grows, increases and decreases, moves and is still. We are to be earth-keepers, protectors. But we and our world’s existence are marred by sin, making perfect function impossible.

But, this world was designed and created by one who knows what it is supposed to look like, function like, without the damage sin brings to people and other living things.

He is still on the throne … but we are not off the hook.

This is my father’s world
Oh, let me never forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong
God is the ruler yet

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Laboring for Life

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #laboringforlife, #parentingistough on June 30, 2019| Leave a Comment »

As our son completed his application for a six month training and global mission experience, far, far from home …

As he prepared for work and service at summer camp …

I was reminded, yet again, that parenting, but especially motherhood, is not a single experience of labor pains, but a lifetime of them …

the pains, not decreasing, but becoming more intense.

It is not that I do not want him to have such experiences, nor do I resent his increasing independence, nor are these pains only for him … for he has two older sisters who also bring me to my knees in the pain of growing up, growing away, into their own lives.

When a couple, a woman, discovers a child is on it’s way, whether by planning or surprise, the pains of growing up are overlooked, ignored. All thoughts, energies and even dreams have to do with what will be experienced together.

Parenting is far more about the many big and small steps to individuality than it ever is about the original family unit. The goal and purpose of childrearing is to raise the next generation, to continue in the care of our earth and everything in it and to worship and share the redeeming nature of God, not to raise a human will meet our needs and desires.

Parenting must always be for the life that is lived apart from me, from us, as parents. It is the supreme exercise in working yourself out of a job. It is what we do not dream or envision to be the end result, yet our job is to lead our children to achieve independence from us.

As I look towards our son’s summer camp experiences, at his across the globe trip, it is a little like the anticipation during pregnancy, during the pains of labor, for I focus not on the temporary pains, but the thrill of what will be birthed through them.

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain
because her time has come;
but when her baby is born
she forgets the anguish
because of her joy that a child is born into the world.”
John 16:21

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Summer Blessing

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #summerblessing, Rest on June 27, 2019| 2 Comments »

As the regular of the year fades into summer break, we look ahead

to sunshine, long days, lazy mornings
to BBQs, campfires, cold ice cream
to airports, ferries and sunny road trips.

May this summer

Bring great times of fun and refreshment
joy with loved ones, laughter late at night
a cleansing breath, rest for the weary.

May each day provide

Fresh food to fill your tummy.
Time for creating and love.
Memories to fill your soul.

But also,

Resolution to whats hard.
Protection for each new day.
And return at summer’s end.

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Summer with Amara

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged #alzheimers, #summerwithamara, #unfading on June 25, 2019| 3 Comments »

I have a plan this summer.

It is always good to have a plan, though I know too well the truth in that saying about how the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

This summer my plan is to finish writing a book that I started

s—o l–o–n–g a–g–o

Actually, I even ‘planned’ to complete it two previous summers, but my love of refinishing furniture trumped my desire to get that writing done. This year, there are only two small refinishing projects, as I no longer have storage space for furniture, since moving to a townhouse, so I am determined to complete it.

This book is a story that began to form in my mind many years ago, about a woman, Amara, with Alzheimer’s disease. I needed to get it into words, so I began writing a new part and publishing it here, on itsawonderfilledlife, once a week. If you would like to check it out, click on Unfading.

I am still not sure what propelled me to begin writing this, as I had no close connection to anyone with the disease when I began writing. In the past year, though, my father’s two sisters, one older and one younger, have been moved into full care facilities, as they continue to live with the effects of this disease. Perhaps my inclination to write was birthed out of a need to have my heart prepared, softened, for what was to come in their lives.

Recently, while visiting family on the other side of the country, I got to visit my aunt, while she was still living in the home of her adult years. A last visit that I recounted in the post I Forgot. It was in the writing of that post, recalling what would most certainly be my last earthly visit with her, that created this drive within me to finish this book, to spend this summer with Amara.

So, that is my plan for the summer, a summer of forgetting and remembering, a summer with Amara.

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A Light in the Darkness

Posted in Faith, WONDER, tagged #alightinthedarkness, #markwarawa, #mpmarkwarawa, #politicsandfaith on June 23, 2019| Leave a Comment »

Mark Twain said many things about politics, but it is his words (above) that have caught my attention these past few days.

One might think that I am referring to a scandal uncovered about a politician, or how dark politics is because there simply could not be an honest man involved in such a power-hungry sector of society.

This time, that quote seems to resonate in the memories of those who knew, knew of, or lived in the constituency which Canadian Member of Parliament, Mark Warawa served. For his fifteen years of federal and fourteen in municipal politics.

Last week it was announced that Mark, with his wife at his side, lost his brief battle with cancer … and gained an eternity with his Savior.

Though I struggle to believe the words of politicians, or believe that their intent is ever anything but political power-seeking or posturing, Mark was a politician who was different, whose integrity was a light in an area that can seem so dark.

As I listened to his colleagues (from all parties) speak their memorials in the House of Commons, there were qualities that kept coming up … kindness, welcoming, generous, strong faith, honest, humble. As I read comments online from his constituents I found them to be the same. These are not normally qualities listed of one who is a politician.

Every time we saw Mark (or Diane) in public, it was as though he was seeing an old friend. That is how he made everyone feel … valuable, worthy, intimate.

Just months ago, as hubby was struggling in illness, Mark invited him out for a coffee, for conversation … an opportunity that again reinforced value, worth and intimate friendship (and blessed the heart of this wife).

In his own farewell speech in the House (just over a month ago), Mark challenged his colleagues and friends to, above all else, love each other.

On his Facebook page, announcing the end to his earthly life, is written:

“Mark’s favourite verse was John 3:16:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Within that verse is the willing sacrifice of service, performed with the greatest serving of love, which results in life eternal in the constituency of the souls of heaven, lead by a gracious and generous king. This is Mark’s new home.

Well done good and faithful servant.

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Wedding Season

Posted in The Hubby, Walking with God, WONDER, tagged #marriage, #marriagemetaphor, #weddingseason on June 20, 2019| 2 Comments »

June has traditionally been the month of weddings. The weather is warmer, but not hot. The days are longer. Outdoor photographs are more beautiful with gardens at their peek of beauty.

We got to attend a wedding a few weeks ago and I found myself feeling rather broody.

Just days before hubby had received a letter informing him that he is no longer licensed in our home province to officiate weddings. Though that letter’s communication was the equivalent of water off a duck’s back, for hubby, it initiated an unexpected mourning for me.

I could unashamedly brag about the way he conducted weddings over the years.

He would take the position of intermediary, between the bride and groom and … anyone who could make the event stressful, in the most gracious yet firm manner.

The message that he would share would be one that was agonizingly prepared to represent the couple, from what he knew of them and what he had learned through the premarital sessions.

Then there was the ceremony, personalized as the couple chose, for he was committed that it would reflect them.

My personal favorite part of the weddings that he officiated were how he made the pronouncement … “by the power given me by the province of —-, but, more importantly, by God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I pronounce you husband and wife.” It just always made me smile.

So I sat at the wedding, just a few days ago, missing his ceremony, what he did so well, each part conscientiously planned and executed, always bringing the message back to the original installation of marriage.

As I got home from that wedding I got to thinking about how, in the Bible, marriage is used as a parable for Christ (the bridegroom) and the Church (the bride). As husband and wife become one, so too the Church and Christ become one … this is the “mystery” spoken of in Ephasians 5:32.

When a couple marry, their unifying is actually a re-unifying, since woman came from man’s body. Adam, meaning earth, and Eve, meaning life … woman literally puts life into the man, from whom she came. For woman to have life, she was taken from man, marriage is the redeeming of that physical separation at Creation, and the two, once again, become one.

The work of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, to the grave and resurrection is also a redeeming of relationship. From the very beginning God intended that we, his church, would be one with him … and then sin happened. Christ, through his sacrifice, brought the church back to him … and the two, once again, become one.

As I pondered this metaphor I realized that though I was feeling sorrowful for this end to hubby being such an amazingly talented part of the union of souls, this story goes on. In the hands of God himself, who officiates the most spectacular of marriages of souls, back to himself.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek,
there is neither slave nor free,
there is no male and female,
for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Galatians 3:28

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