Purpose | itsawonderfilledlife

Posts Tagged ‘Purpose’

Waiting

Posted in WONDER, tagged anger, bitterness, GOD, I deserve, John Waller, patience, pity party, Psalm 27:14, Purpose, to be pleased, Waiting, while I wait on February 26, 2013| 2 Comments »

images-1 I HATE waiting!

Convinced that at some point in my life I must have prayed for patience, and God is now ~~cursing~~ blessing me with regular experiences that will test my patience, I now avoid praying for patience, like the plague!

Within our family there are members who are natural tools in God’s hands to do this in my life. ‘Someone’ regularly makes me wait to leave for school/work in the mornings. ‘Someone’ else makes me wait to return borrowed money. ‘Someone’ else makes me wait to return text messages. And ‘someone’ else makes me wait … for everything!

UGH!

Just recently I thought I would explode if I had to wait much longer for something deeply desired, something I felt I deserved, and yet all indicators were that my only guarantee was that I would need to continue waiting, and that there was a good chance that what I was waiting for might not ever be mine in this life.

Anger and bitterness started to really pervade my thoughts.

“But, I deserve this”

“But, I have followed the rules”

“But, but, but …”

As I was having my pity party I kept hearing in my heart, “what is your purpose in life, Carole? To please Me, or to be pleased by others?”

UGH!

How do I respond with “well to be pleased, of course” to one who sacrificed His Son … for me?

And so I was brought back to my purpose, to not just please, but to live for Christ. To love Him, and to love His creatures … even the ones who make me wait!

So, while I wait, through the seasons that might never end in this life,

“I will serve You
I will worship
I will not fade
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait
… though it’s not easy …”

“Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.”
Psalm 27:14

images

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Holy Work

Posted in christmas, Guest Post, WONDER, tagged Ann Voskamp, calling, duties, Fatigue, gifts, Guilt, holy, holy work, jobs, one thousand gifts, Purpose, Stress, the best way to do christmas cleaning on December 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

As we continue with all of the last minute preparations for the ‘big day’ obligation, guilt and fatigue can begin to take over our existence and moment by moment lives. Our duties, our jobs can come to feel as weights upon our lives.

The guest post today is by Ann Volskamp, who was also my guest post two week ago. It is short, and sweet and will put breath back beneath your sails as you look for purpose in your tasks.

After reading The Best Way to do Christmas Cleaning I think you might just have a new understanding of what it is to do holy work.

Oh, and you might want to purchase Ann Voskamp’s book, for someone you love (or for yourself), “One Thousand Gifts”

one-thousand-gifts

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Wise Girls

Posted in GOD, life, The Kids, women, WONDER, tagged Boys, communication, Girls, GOD, Little Women, Purpose, sex, Teens, wisdom on August 24, 2012| 4 Comments »

A conversation a long while back still haunts me.

My daughter had the look of one who wanted to spill information that she knew, so we did some errands where we would be driving (nothing like the wheels of a vehicle moving to get a teenager to talk) a significant amount.

It took no time for the story to enfold.

She told me about her friend. Her friend, at the time, was a girl of just fourteen. She had a boyfriend. According to what my daughter said (because she is a question ‘asker’ and she had asked her friend what the two of them talk about together), her friend and the boyfriend didn’t spend much time talking, because there was not much for them to talk about to each other. The two had discussed the details (I guess they found a topic that they wanted to talk about), of when and where they would have sex for the first time. And so, when mom was out, and the house empty, they did IT.

The story does not end there. The next day the daughter asked her mother for oral birth control (I am not sure if she fessed up to mom about her recent sexual explorations). Her mother grounded her for two weeks.

So, now we have a young girl, who is dating a guy who she has nothing to talk about with, who is having sex, who is wise enough to know that birth control is a good idea, whose mother chooses to not only say no to, but, rather than sit down and have an exploratory conversation, grounds her. Yikes! It is the perfect storm of situations!

How is it that, in this day and age, a mother could be so uncommunicative with her daughter? How is it that, in this day and age, a girl could think that having sex with someone who she has nothing to talk about with (other than sex) is a good idea? I keep hearing the voice of the Virginia Slims cigarette ads saying “you’ve come a long way baby” and thinking … really? I keep thinking of the book by Laura Schlessinger “10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives” and thinking … will it ever end?

There is a line that I frequently quote to my daughters, that comes from the classic Louisa May Alcott book, Little Women, “I will not have my daughters being silly about boys.” Although they are fully human young women, I greatly desire that they grow up knowing that their value is not in temporary pursuits (and especially when it comes to young men), but in who God has created them to be, and the purpose and intent He has for their lives, apart from romantic or sexual relationships. They are, indeed, sexual beings, but oh, they are so much more! I truly believe that they must seek God’s best for them, as individuals, before they begin down the path of life with another person, and their life’s direction.

It is with fear and trepidation that I co-parent these two precious ladies … fear and trepidation that brings me to my knees! And that is a good place to be.

While on my knees I pray for openness of communication, and for wisdom to help them grow to be wise.

“I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good.
To be admired, loved, and respected.
To have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married,
and to lead useful, pleasant lives,
with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send.”
Little Women

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Children : From Beautiful to Surly

Posted in FAMILY, GOD, life, WONDER, tagged Babies, Innocent, Jeremiah 29:11, Parenting, Parenting Teens, Purpose, Surly Teens on October 24, 2011| Leave a Comment »

There is a life mystery that I expect I will never fully understand. It is twofold: First is the amazing love, and dedication, and awe, and commitment that a parent feels when their newborn is placed in their arms. Second is how that beautiful, innocent, miraculous bundle of joy turns into a surly, snarly, stubborn teenager.

As a parent, who has experienced both the beautiful babe and the surly teen, I am baffled at how one morphs into the other. I am also confounded at how I have morphed as well. From the moment that I would have confirmation of being pregnant I was in love, I was willing to die for that child …

and then they become a defiant two year old,
and then they won’t eat their veggies
and then they get into a fist fight on the playground
and then they talk back
and then they argue over anything (as in anything you say)
and then they won’t talk
and then you understand why some creatures eat their young …

I also work in a school, and so I get to see teens, daily, with their chosen packs (you know, like wolf packs … so many similarities 😉 ), and it does a number on my ‘parent perspective’ of those surly teens.

Here is what I see:

‘friends’ who embarrass and humiliate them in front of other ‘friends’
faces of failure, because they didn’t get the mark they thought or hoped they would on an assignment or test
not wanting to ask for help in class, because they truly feel they are the only ones who do not get it
exhaustion caused by working late, so that they can have the money to buy the ‘things’ that keep them ‘in’ with the pack
exhaustion caused by the reality that a teens body has a different clock from an adults (and from our school schedule), their bodies are programmed to ‘awaken’ in the evening, making sleep hard to come by until late into the night
inattention in class, causing reprimands from teachers who have not been alerted, by parents, of the illness of a family member, the pending separation/divorce of parents, deaths, etc., etc., etc.
students who look like a scared creatures when they walk down the hallways, because they feel they have no ‘pack’ to belong to
students who are self-injuring (cutting, eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, illicit sex), who have so much going on in their minds and bodies, that they hurt themselves to distract from the big hurts in their lives

This is what I see, it is not all I see (I do see good stuff too, and lots of it, but the good stuff doesn’t contribute to surly so much), but this is what I see that makes me look at my surly teens differently. I now know that when they hop in the van at the end of the, our van might be the only place they have felt ‘safe’ all day, and they might be surly to me because I might be the first person in their day who they know will love them, despite their behaviors, or their looks, or their hearts.

Moms and Dads, we need to continue to be the same ‘in love’, willing to die for you parents that we were when we first laid our eyes on our babies. We need to stop responding to our kids surly behaviors, and start seeking the reasons why they are surly. We need to stop being offended by their attitudes, their music choices, their clothing and hair styles and start looking through all of that to the child/adolescent/teen/young adult at the core of who they are. We need to love them through the eyes of a Father God, who looks at us, not as we are (thank goodness), but as who He knows we can become.

Every week, I know of a daughter who willfully breaks the rules of her Father. She lies, she snubs others, she can be really mean to those younger than her, she has hissy fits, she leaves the house without telling anyone where she is going, and she might spend days without saying a single word to her father. Then, one day every week she goes out in public to say how much she loves her Daddy. And you know what, because her father is God, He welcomes me back … every time. Because my Father God knows I am going to be surly (it’s a given, just like our kids), but He sees in my the enormity of what I can become, and He isn’t going to give up on my until I see it too.

Don’t stop seeing the enormity of what our surly teens can become.

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Passion

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Life, Passion, Passionate, Purpose, Wonder on September 16, 2011| 3 Comments »

Someone asked me this week how I can find time to write a blog.

We do have a busy family of seven. There is hubby and I, two daughters, one son, plus the newest arrival of a brother and sister from China, who we also call our son and daughter. I also took on full time work this September. Hubby is a busy, in demand, pastor of a great church family. Our kids are involved in various activities. And … then there is the beast …

So, yes we are busy, and finding time to write a blog is not easy.

But, for me, to take (to make, to carve out) time each day, five days a week, to write … well it makes my days proceed with more ease, more fluidity, more … purpose (and writing forces me to walk, because the opportunity to exercise, breath deeply and enjoy the calling of God’s creation give me wonder to write about). Because I know this to be true, I cannot stop writing, for fear that I will not function as well, as healthily, as … purposeful.

I have discovered that my passion of writing (albeit with dreadfully poor grammar) is something that I must force myself to do, in order to receive it’s benefits. Although the practice of writing makes my heart beat with passion, it is still a habit that I must discipline myself to do, because my love of it is not enough to keep the passion going.

Have you ever been … passionate? I’m not talking about another person (although that is okay too … well, if they feel the same way about you). What I am talking about is the thing or things that make you feel like you are successful, not because of the outcome of doing them, but because of how empowered, how energized you feel while doing them. The thing you do that makes everything else you do in living your life (from making dinner, to wiping noses, to picking up beasty poo) better, more enjoyable.

Within each one of us is a passion, a unique calling in our life to fulfill. For some, it might be their job. For some, it might be a daily task that they love to do (one of my friends loves to clean … go figure … and so she now does housecleaning for others … and I am eternally thankful, every Wednesday … actually, I bet she has another passion … maybe she has been to shy to share it). For some it is a hobby that they share. And, for others a hobby that they do not share. I bet that for most, it is something that they are scared to admit, or don’t know it yet, or … something that they know they like, but they do not make time for it in their lives (like me, for far too long).

I encourage you, from my own experience, seek it out, carve time out of your busy schedule to regularly practice it.

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School without Students

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Back to School, Back to work, Purpose, School is Students, Work on September 2, 2011| 4 Comments »

Having now been back to work, in a school, for three days, I am confident of one thing … school is not school without the students!

It has been wonderful to see and reconnect with my work colleagues, get my schedule, and hear of the new plans and initiatives for the school year. But … it does not feel like my job, it does not feel like school, if there are no students there. The building is NOT the school, even the staff are not the school. Both of those are valuable parts of ‘school’, but it is the students who make up, and who are … the school.

All parts that come together under the roof of the school, from teaching to non-teaching staff, from parents to guardians, from professional development to textbooks, from note pads to computers, do so with one purpose in mind … to teach the students who will attend there. And it is in they, the students, that our purpose for being there lies.

It has been a good reminder to me of what my job is really about. Although I benefit from my job (financially and with a sense of purpose and fulfillment), I am there for the benefit of the students, not the other way around. I am there to help them to learn, they are not there to help me learn (but, they do). I am there to encourage them, not they encourage me (but, they do). I am there to make their lives and their futures better, they are not there to improve my life (but, they do).

I hope that remembering why I do what I was hired to do helps me to do my job better. I hope that a month from now, I can remember how very boring and even pointless (not that it is, but it ‘feels’ that way) being at school without the students was, way back here in August.

The highlight of my day … meeting the family of one of the students I get to work with this coming school year … That was one step closer to what I was hired to do!

“…the fundamental purpose of school is learning, not teaching.”

Richard DuFour

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Back to Work … Sigh …

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Back to work, Begin with the End in Mind, End of Vacation, Hi Ho Hi Ho, Purpose, Start of the School Year on August 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Beginnings are great! A fresh start, a clean slate, a new page. Well, after a two month (well, for me it was more like a two week) break from working in a school, today is back to work … sigh (for those of you who do not work in on a school schedule, I realize that you will be playing your miniature violins, as I whine and complain about the end of summer break. I know the perspectives of non-school workers of those of us who work a school schedule … ‘you work less than eight hours a day,’ ‘you get two weeks off at Christmas,’ ‘you get two weeks off at Spring Break,’ ‘you get two months off in the summer,’ ‘there seems to be a Professional day every month’ and on, and on, and on. I have broad shoulders, I can handle it 😉 But, I digress).

I am not really all that upset about actually going back to work, I am more sad to see the end of summer. Although it really is not over until about the twenty-first of September, the start of school always seems to be the real, practical, end of the summer season. And really, is there anyone who wants to see the end of summer? I don’t think so!

So, my alarm will be set for 6am, my clothes will be laid out the night before (I’m a bit anal … no, really it is just that I do not want anything to hinder my joy of a relaxing morning coffee, and having to think about what to wear just simply throws me off), my coffee maker timer set, and my cell phone charged (not that I would use my cell phone, at work, to text … not me 😉 ). All of the regular work preparations have been done, now it is just to get my pea-sized brain around this reality.

Really there is no preparation for getting my brain wrapped around the reality of back to work. A person just has to do it, go through the motions, leap into it (kind of like getting married, or having a child).

I do look forward to catching up with co-workers, meeting new colleagues, and hearing about new and exciting plans and perspectives on various things pertaining to our students this year.

This summer I heard someone say, ‘begin with the end in mind.’ It seemed so simple, yet so profound a statement. It is a statement of understanding goals, consequences, hope and vision. It is a statement that makes me think about what I hope the end to look like.

I wonder … if I go to work each day of this school year, with an end goal in mind, for me, for the students I work with … will each of my work days have more focus, more direction, more accomplishment, more purpose? Will having a ‘end’ perspective make me more attentive, more directed, more eager to do the job I am hired to do? Will I be better at my job? Will I receive more joy from the work I do? Will my students catch the excitement that I feel to be there, as we work together to achieve their goals?

So, tomorrow is a day of catching up, of getting reacquainted and of visioning for the year to come … all with the end in mind.

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