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Posts Tagged ‘walking’

I know I experience beauty.

I know I experienced joy.

I know I experienced peacefulness.

And, I KNOW I experienced … WONDER.

I know this from a day off I had one spring day. It was on my favorite trail, with my favorite beast (next to hubby), on a SUNNY day (I got a tan … I was beginning to think I would turn green with mold, before I would turn golden brown), enjoying every step I took.

And I really mean that I was enjoying every step I took. Now, most of the time, my walks are walks with a purpose (jiggle the cellulite into submission), but this particular day, I felt compelled, no, insisted upon, by someone much greater, to just enjoy the journey … and so I did. And it was wonderfilled!

There was the dandelion, gone to seed …

How is it that something that, when in flower, can cause me such frustration on my own lawn (and disaster once it’s gone to seed on my lawn), can bring me back to sunny childhood days, when future planning, and dreaming was only a breath away?

Or the tree, bent over right to the ground …

How could such a strong and beautifully created thing, looking so hopeless, from the strong winds of life, still live, and show signs not just of blossoms, but of new life in it’s leaves?

Or the bright, beautiful blackberry blossoms …

How could something so beautiful, so eye-catching (and foretelling of the juicy, sweet berries to come) also be so damaging to the wetlands, to other plants and trees, to streams that it’s ‘mother plant’ drinks dry?

Or the beaver …

How could such a visually adorable, brilliant builder, who really knows how to sink his teeth into his work, be so destructive to forests?

I learned that day that things are not always what they seem. That beauty and evil can be in the same place. That blessing and curse can be wrapped up in the same package. And, maybe even, that good can even come from something that also is, or seems to be, evil.

Ah, so much to wonder …

“I wonder,

as I wander,

                                                                       out under the sky”

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Well, here I am, at month eleven of my weight loss blog … and it has been three months since I updated my own ‘progress.’

Sigh …d999b4880f53376b2d4549f2a2fac09a-1

Well, at Christmas time I was down twenty-four pounds, and feeling like I could take on the world! Then the New Year rang in, and the scale did not move … at all … despite good efforts! Sadly, when it did start moving, it was moving in the wrong direction. From the beginning of February until today, I have gained back eleven pounds 😦

Ugh!

But worse than gaining those hard fought-off pounds back, is the reality that my head (the most important part of the weight loss process) simply does not even give a rip! I have reached a new low … weight and health related apathy.

Obviously I cannot continue as I have been, so I did the most motivating thing I knew … I re-read the posts that got myself motivated in the first place.

It was in my post, The Fat Came Back, where I shared the event that made me face the hard reality that I had lost my way, lost my focus, and gained previously lost weight back.

The following were my original goals:

* get weighed every Friday, and only on Friday
(I tend to be addicted to the scales, when trying to lose weight, and I need to work on my obsessive compulsiveness)

* use”My Fitness Pal” app on my phone (or website My Fitness Pal)
(this is NOT an advertisement for the app. I have used it before, and it is an easy way for me to know, not just the calories, but also the nutritional values of the foods I eat. When I use it, I find I will look at the minuscule package of ‘healthy’ cookies for 100 calories, and a large fresh apple for the same, and when I see the nutritional values of each, I make better choices for the health of my body, and not just counting calories).

* walking
(still three bigger (one hour or more) walks each week, preferably on my favorite trail, but added to that, one twenty minute walk each day. The beast is starting to show signs of middle age spread … just don’t tell her I told you, and she could use this too)

* abdominal exercise
(I am still not sure what shape these exercises will eventually take, but my bowl full of jelly must be reigned in. I am starting with twenty-five crunches a morning … before coffee … I need to have incentive)

* accountability
(I am planning one letting it all hang out with you, the reader … heck, I’ve been letting it all hang out visually for all around me for

These are good goals, doable goals, and they are the ones I am returning to, not next month, not next week, but today.

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Week number one has now come and gone, and so have three pounds of unnecessary blubber (equal to three pounds of butter)!

It is really near miraculous that I lost anything, as I did not do so well with my goals, but maybe that speaks more to how poorly my eating habits were before this week.

My first two days went very well, as I was busily preparing for our delightful guests, who came to visit. It rained miserably, during their visit, and I failed to be motivated to go outside to walk … sigh! We ate far too well and too often, but exercised our abdominal muscles significantly with joyous laughter.

As anyone who has tried to change any bad habit, the first few days are killer! Not because it is so difficult, but because the habit that you are trying to eliminate, or get a handle on, is all that you seem to be able to think of! I awake and think of food, I eat and think of my next meal. I go to bed, and think about what I want to eat tomorrow!

Habit changing is like an immediate and overwhelming case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder descending upon your brain!

And really, that is the key component of habit changing, the brain. If we can change how we think about food (or cigarettes, or shopping, or whatever our vise may be), we can be victorious over it, rather than it being in control over us.

This week was not a stellar one, for my goals, but, I do believe that I started this process of changing my eating habits in the part of my body that needs to change first and the most, my brain. Although I am dealing with OCD like traits, I am thinking about what I am eating, and that means that I am making conscious choices, and not just letting food ‘happen’.

The goals I had set for myself were:

* get weighed every Friday, and only on Friday
I did it! But oh, how tempting that torture tool (scales) is when I feel like I lost an ounce or two.

* use the “My Fitness Pal” app on my phone (or website My Fitness Pal)
I did use it, but only four of the first seven days … at least two of the days I didn’t use it, it was due to guilt … sigh

* walking
I did not go for one walk … nothing short or long … although I did walk for hours around thrift stores (my friend, who was visiting, loves thrift stores, so we hit just about everyone we could find)

* abdominal exercise
I actually forgot about this goal … but there is always this coming week to get this one rolling!

* accountability
Here I am, letting it all hang out for you to read … you are my accountability partner!

And speaking of accountability partners, let me tell you I was shocked with how many people (women) who have expressed interest in walking this uphill road with me. May our walk be more down than up!

Week 2

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Here we are, Day 1 of the Weight Loss DiaBLOG.

… anyone have some dark chocolate?

Today is not really Day 1, Friday was, but I need to experience it before I write about it, so, here we are at Day 1 +3.

Friday dawned, and I experienced the most dreadful act on Fear Factor, The Diet Episode, I dragged my sorry butt to the scales. What a horrible way to start a day! Rather sadomasochistic if you ask me!

I debated telling you my start weight, but, I know some of you, and the humiliation of having you look at me and guess is bad enough. Once I have lost a few pounds and become more comfortable in my stretched, but shrinking, skin, I will tell you where I started. Suffice it to say, all that had been lost, last year, has been found. And that is a heck of alot of sticks of butter  😦 .

So, here is my plan, so far:

* get weighed every Friday, and only on Friday
(I tend to be addicted to the scales, when trying to lose weight, and I need to work on my obsessive compulsiveness)

* use”My Fitness Pal” app on my phone (or website My Fitness Pal)
(this is NOT an advertisement for the app. I have used it before, and it is an easy way for me to know, not just the calories, but also the nutritional values of the foods I eat. When I use it, I find I will look at the minuscule package of ‘healthy’ cookies for 100 calories, and a large fresh apple for the same, and when I see the nutritional values of each, I make better choices for the health of my body, and not just counting calories).

* walking
(still three bigger (one hour or more) walks each week, preferably on my favorite trail, but added to that, one twenty minute walk each day. The beast is starting to show signs of middle age spread … just don’t tell her I told you, and she could use this too)

* abdominal exercise
(I am still not sure what shape these exercises will eventually take, but my bowl full of jelly must be reigned in. I am starting with twenty-five crunches a morning … before coffee … I need to have incentive)

* accountability
(I am planning one letting it all hang out with you, the reader … heck, I’ve been letting it all hang out visually for all around me for years.)

I am hoping you will interact with me. Tell me about your struggle, your successes, your frustrations. Tell me what works for you, what gets you through the times when the torture device is not moving, or moving in an upwardly direction (I know I will get all sorts of lotions, potions, pills and treatments spam now).

I really want to walk this uphill road with others … I’m gonna need someone to push me to the top!

So, here we go.

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