itsawonderfilledlife

Archive for 2017

Perfect Life

Posted in GOD, life, WONDER, tagged #bluemonday, #perfectlife, #perfectsatisfaction, #whatisperfect on January 16, 2017| Leave a Comment »

Yesterday, the third Monday in January, has come to be known as Blue Monday.

It is this day that is reportedly the saddest of the year. The holidays are over, credit card bills are in the mail, daylight is reduced and winter’s rains or snow in full force.

Though struggles with depression and SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) are very real and legitimate reasons for feeling blue, perhaps we humans also suffer because of our expectations of perfection from ourselves and our lives.

Over the Christmas break, hubby and I started watching the TV show “Call the Midwife”. Probably my favourite part of each episode are the narrations, at the end of each episode, by Vanessa Redgrave.

One such narration struck me :

“Perfection is not a polished thing.
It is often simply something that is sincerely meant.

Perfection is a job complete, praise given, a prayer heard, it can be kindness shown, thanks offered up.

Perfection is what we discover in each other- what we see reflected back …

And if perfection alludes us -that doesn’t matter for what we have within the moment is enough.”

Often, our view of, and desire for perfection, is the letter-of-the-law perfection … everything, always perfect.

Yet, human perfection is more grand, more personal, more subjective.

For most of us perfection can be a steaming hot cup of our favorite beverage, awakening to puppy licks or toddler babble or a soft kiss on your forehead. Perfection can be snowflakes falling softly, or the sound of rain outside your window, or a moon shining big and bright. It can be completing a report, leaving work exhausted but satisfied, cleaning a cluttered closet. Perfection is best seen in others when they whisper our name in prayer, or meet our eyes and smile.

We are our perfect best when we are real, when we duplicate kindnesses we see in others, when we work, pray, praise and are thankful. We are our perfect best when we breath in, and out, and recognize the perfection in each breath.

May we ponder, today, that which is truly perfect in our lives.

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The Responsibility of Choice

Posted in community, life, The Kids, WONDER, tagged #choiceandduty, #theresponsibilityofchoice, community, itsawonderfilledlife on January 15, 2017| Leave a Comment »

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I love the debates I have with my son, for we both share our opinions with conviction and passion, yet, because we are not of the same gender, we are able to walk away from such discussions with no bruises.

That said, we had such a debate recently, and after thoughtful consideration, he was wrong.

I was watching the movie, Young Victoria, and specifically her coronation. It was this scene which birthed a debate.

My son said, “she looks scared to death”

To which I replied, “she probably was, as this event diminished her human rights and replaced them with duty to her country, and all that went with that.”

Then he said, “it was a choice. All of life is about choice. Choice is what God gave us all.”

And I pondered (but kept quiet because I really wanted to watch the movie) his words for days after.

I have come to the conclusion that he is right, and wrong. And it is because of my mother-child relationship to and with him that I have found his words to be such.

For I am the woman who loved him from before he was born. I am that one who believes in him, who pushes him, who would die for him. I am bound to him through the experience and responsibility of motherhood. I am duty-bound, for though our relationship was born from love, I must often choose to put my care of him, above myself. That is my duty.

Though individual choice is a common-heard mantra, duty is bound to choice … every choice.

Though it may not be popular, our opinions and our expressions through our appearance are not our own in the workplace. While we are ‘on the clock’ we do not represent ourselves alone, we also represent the organization or business that is paying us. During work hours we are duty-bound to represent our employer. We can wear what we like, but we always need to keep our duty to our position in mind.

We have choice to accept the love of God. Though he pursues us for all of our lives, he does not force his love on us. Once we do receive what God offers to all, we are then duty-bound to him, and to his teachings. In Matthew 4:19, Jesus said, “come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” There are two steps to this commitment, following (accepting) him and then doing the task (duty) that goes with the commitment.

In keeping our duty to our workplace, our family, our God and community we become leaders … maybe not leaders by position or rank, but leaders in the hearts of the men and women around us.

Duty is part of choice,

“Leadership is not a rank.
Leadership is not a position.
Leadership is a decision.
Leadership is a choice.
It has nothing to do with your position in the organization.

If you decide to look after the person to the left of you, and to look after the person to the right of you, you have become a leader.”
Simon Sinek

It is not just our employers, our government and our family members who are duty-bound to work for the good of all. We are all bound, by duty, to diminish so that others might thrive alongside of us.

To do this may lessen stress and anxiety in our family members and co-workers, by giving them a safe and caring community.

To do this may decrease our focus on differences (race, religion, etc.) and bring people together to share in common human experiences.

To do this may result in senior citizens and those with special needs feeling part of the community that they live in, rather than feeling like (or being treated as) burdens on society.

To do this may result in less homelessness, abuse and substance abuse.

I realize, even reading my own words, that this sounds so pie-in-the-sky, Mr. Rodgers esque. And to do that, to look after those around us, is our duty as members of a workplace, a family, a community.

“The price of greatness is responsibility.”
Winston Churchill

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Time to Pause

Posted in FAMILY, The Kids, WONDER, tagged #kidsaregrowingup, #littlewomen, #loveistheonlything, #timetopause on January 12, 2017| Leave a Comment »

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It had been a L O N G , non-stop, action-filled Monday, and I was just finishing a task and looking forward to even half an hour of reading my new book.

“Mom, can you help with my lines?”

I turned around to see my son entering the room, with his script, for the school play, stretched out towards me.

but I really wanted to have down time

he needs me

but I was so tired

this is his last school play

but my cup was almost dry

he graduates high school in June

I pause …

And so, for the next half hour, I read for Jo, Laurie and Mrs. March, as teenage son read the lines of the patriarch of the March family.

In less than six months, he (our youngest) will complete high school.

In less than nine months he plans to go to college.

This is the ending of a season, an era, and it causes me to pause.

As the months have been creeping by, I am noticing that I pause, often. I am asked for a drive to camp (an hour away), to watch a shared TV show, to wake him at an earlier hour, to study for a test, to go through lines for the school play, and I pause …

In that pause I can choose to say yes, or not now. But with each day that slips by, I am more aware that if not now, when?

We all have causes to pause. When we hear of the family whose child died in a house fire, we pause. When a co-worker’s spouse died after she left for work, we pause. When a friend is battling cancer, we pause. When a loved one’s career takes them far away, we pause.

And so yes is more often my, our, response,

because we realize that soon the requests will be few, rare, gone forever.

Now is the time to pause.

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The Expected or the Exceptional?

Posted in Marriage, WONDER, tagged #expectedorexceptional, #heygirl, #honour, #mylady, #ryangoslinggoldenglobes, Marriage on January 10, 2017| Leave a Comment »

My Sunday evening was interrupted by Twitter:

“a beautiful speech shows great character in a man”

“Attractive, smart & so generous to his partner”

“was beautiful to acknowledge the sacrifice of others to follow your dream”

“Hey girl” has been officially replaced with “my lady”

I was hooked, and had to uncover why social media was so enamoured with the acceptance speech of Ryan Gosling at the Golden Globe awards.

“You don’t get to be up here without standing on the shoulders of a mountain of people … while I was singing and dancing and playing piano and having one of the best experiences I’ve ever had, on a film, my lady was raising our daughter, pregnant with our second and trying to help her brother fight his battle with cancer. If she hadn’t taken all that on so that I could have this experience, it would surely be someone else up here, other than me, today, so, sweetheart, thank-you.”

sigh …

swoon …

Then I pondered, what was really so exceptional about the words of Mr. Gosling? After all, all he did was acknowledge that his success was not his alone, but thanks to the efforts and commitment of his wife, to him, his success, their children, and her brother.

Isn’t what he did, what should be expected of us all?

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Perhaps, his words, his public deflection of his success being from his own merits, is exceptional because celebrities rarely stoop to such humility?

Or, perhaps, his words, deflecting his own honour, by honouring his partner in life, is exceptional because we humans, as a whole, rarely stoop to such humility?

Our world is one of individual goals, devices, efforts and successes. But our human race is created for community, mutuality, and inter-dependence. We need each other.

We need to honour each other, and our reliance on those around us, in all that we do.

This is not exceptional (or shouldn’t be), it’s expected of us all.

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Why Do I Write this Blog?

Posted in life, WONDER, tagged Bartender, blog, Blogging, Hairdresser, Purpose, Reason, Shrink, Why, Why do I Write this Blog, Writing on January 8, 2017| 4 Comments »

I just realized that I had not written a post for today, so today’s post is a repost from 2012. As I re-read this one, I agree with ii’s words still …

Last weekend someone asked me “why do you blog?” It was such an easy question to answer, because the one reason I blog is complete and utter selfishness, I blog for me.

After about ten months of writing everything from the insane to the serious, averaging about five posts a week, writing has become something that I rely on, that I need to do, that helps me to keep in balance.

Although there is great jesting in my house about my desire for Oprah to discover me, really, I write for me. This little corner of the cyber world is where I connect with God, where I process my hurts, where I share my celebrations, and where I just get it all out. For me, itsawonderfilledlife is my hairdresser, my bartender, my shrink. And, you who read are the flies on the wall.

Writing has allowed me to have a voice, my voice. In this venue I am still daughter, and mother, and wife, and friend, and pastor’s wife and special ed. assistant, but I am mostly just me. I am just a woman, speeding down the superhighway of aging, who loves her God, her kids and her hubby, trying to make ends meet, experiencing great successes, and dark failures. And this is the forum that I have used to help myself find reason for it all.

When I chose itsawonderfilledlife as my blog title, I did so with pshychology in my mind. I am one who looks for a reason for every event that occurs. I look for wonder, like others might look for chocolate (okay, I look for that on a daily basis too), or luck, or a break. For me, when I can see wonder in my day, I can see purpose for living. For me, a little bit of wonder can make my experiences of living purpose-filled, and in focusing on wonder, I do not spiral down into the dank world of negative thinking.

Recently I was feeling a bit bummed that my stats were lower for a particular week. I pondered different ways that I could bolster them, but that takes time. Then I re-read a couple from that week, and felt good with what I had written, and felt good as I remembered the pleasure that writing them provided. It was then that I remembered, I am doing this for me. So, I forgot about feeling bummed, and felt the pleasure of communing with my God, my thoughts and the computer keyboard. That is why I write this blog, and it’s good enough reason for me 😉 .

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The Souls of Old Houses

Posted in GOD, WONDER, tagged #, #itsawonderfullife, #oldhousesarebest, #thesoulsofoldhouses on January 5, 2017| Leave a Comment »

An event that seems to be becoming an annual one is hubby and I celebrating his birthday watching the classic movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, on the big screen.

As we watched it last month a familiar conversation stuck in my mind:

George Bailey: OK then, I’ll throw a rock at the old Granville house.
Mary: Oh no, don’t. I love that old house.
George Bailey: No, you see you make a wish and then try to break some glass and you’ve got to be a pretty good shot nowadays too.
Mary: Oh no George don’t. It’s full of romance that old place. I’d like to live in it.

In this time and place I live, people prefer to live in new homes, over pre-owned homes (a definition to add to my vernacular). A common occurrence is for homes that are older (ie. 50 years or more) to be torn down, and replaced with brand new homes (frequently more homes on the same piece of property).

I fully and freely admit to being a romantic, and possibly even more so when it comes to houses.

As a child, I can remember the houses that I was fond of … and the stories of the lives of a lifetime of occupants that I would imagine in my mind.

There was the house down a long, straight road, lined with oak trees. It’s porch across the front of the house, with large, perfectly entered stairs. Though the original green paint was chipped and faded, though the roof looked at risk of sinking right into it’s centre, and the barn only partially standing, I loved it. I would dream of a young man, damp with the sweat of his construction labor, carrying his wife, pregnant with their third child, up those entry stairs into the house that would house their family until the day the undertaker took his aged body from the home that love built.

The house I passed on my school bus, every day, with the decorated Christmas tree in it’s enclosed porch. The turret on the second floor that always made me imagine a couple dancing in it’s candle-lit windows, every Saturday night of their childless marriage, before dimming the lights on the week. Years later, another couple, with grand imaginations bought and renovated the home, redeeming it with their love.

These and so many other homes birthed dreams of stories of lives. Though our homes are merely brick and mortar, they are also the pages on which the stories of the lives souls made of flesh and bone, are written on … the ink permanently staining each page until to the dust of Earth they return.

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Redeem the Time

Posted in GOD, WONDER, tagged #dontwastetime, #redeemthetime on January 3, 2017| Leave a Comment »

Today is that day that ends my Christmas break. What a fine break it has been.

It was two weeks filled with the celebration of Christ’s birth, times with our family of five, and with friends, (too much) delicious food, books, a miniseries, and SNOW (the best Christmas gift!).

And now that break from the everyday has come to it’s natural end, and I feel it cannot possibly be finished!

Ephesians 5:16a reminds us to “redeem the time” (not intended as permission to drive, as some might think …). It is a reminder that we have only right now, and to use that time for love, to be light, and to be wise with how we spend this vital resource.

May we all, as we begin this new year, redeem the time.

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Bend Low

Posted in WONDER on January 1, 2017| Leave a Comment »

As we drove home last night from our New Years Eve celebrations, we drove over freshly fallen snow.

The snow created a brightened view of the landscape, and the sky.

As we drove there were branches down, broken by the heavy snow. Hubby made a statement about nature purging the weak.

I noticed the large branches of the tall conifers that line the road to our home, normally out of my reach (even on tip toes), bending low to the ground under the weight of the snow.

Hubby’s words and the sight of the trees bent down made me think of the New Year.

Those mighty trees, held down by the miraculous power of tiny, weightless flakes, as though in prayer.

As I enter 2017, I feel strong, brave and firmly planted in my predictable life. Yet, I can be bent low by the smallest of events … heavy traffic, unexpected illness, things not going my way, putting my foot into my mouth.

Being bent low is not a bad thing. It is a way that my life can be pruned, trimmed of the weaknesses in my core. It is also the best posture to be in to lay my struggles, difficulties and insecurities at the feet of the one who will always hear my cry.

“Together they bend low and kneel down;

they are unable to rescue the images;

they themselves head off into captivity.

“Listen to me, O family of Jacob,

all you who are left from the family of Israel,

you who have been carried from birth,

you who have been supported from the time you left the womb.

Even when you are old, I will take care of you,

even when you have gray hair, I will carry you.

I made you and I will support you;

I will carry you andRescue you.”

Isaiah 46:2-4