About a year ago I was consulting with DIY websites, videos, Pinterest and my daughter’s tastes, all in preparation for her big move … from a room on our upper floor to the suite in the basement.
Although the renovation took far more time than I had ever dreamed that it would (and isn’t that how it often goes), it did get (mostly) completed by the end of the summer.
Our daughter is a university student and, well …
(how do I say this so that those of you who have not reached this ‘era’ of parenting?)
it was time for she (and we) to have more …
independence 😉
She had definite ideas about how she saw her room developing.
I had even more definite ideas about my budget!
We made a deal …
She would modify her dream of board and batten paneled walls, and she would purchase her own ‘dream’ wallpaper (I grew up in the wall paper era, and I am not ready to pay for something that may just claim my salvation as well as my money).
So, the first week of July, I descended to the basement to take pics, and get started on the process of de-construction.
Despite two windows, the room was dark!
The brown carpet, brown furnishings and ugly wall color were not helping to lighten the room.
The bathroom was equally ugly (though a bit brighter due to half the room having white tile on it’s walls) with everything original to when the house was built. The bathroom vanity was sturdy, but ugly (in the pictures, above, the vanity has already been painted a brown-black, inside and out) and the mirror was that typical builders grade flat mirror attached to the wall with no frame.
The bedroom was to get a fresh, brighter coat of paint, woodwork around the room and windows, wallpaper, laminate flooring and a cool bookcase built in to the entrance to the storage under the stairs (no pics here of that area) … all on a budget of … not much money! In the next post (next Thursday) I will share the renovation, along with pictures to prove it really did occur.
Let’s face it, there are many not so good things about getting older.
vision changes occur, often resulting in glasses that try to do two things in one place
skin gets thin resulting in the gradual migration of one’s body in a southerly trajectory
hair color gets replaced with shiny chicken wire-like hair
sleep is hard to find or maintain at night
… and those are just a few!
Many years ago, a church we attended had a guest speaker on a special Sunday to honor the seniors in our congregation. This man was one who was loved by the congregation, and was, himself, over seventy years.
It was the most depressing sermon I have ever heard in my entire life! I do not remember the passage of scripture he used in his teaching, but it and his reflections on it were all about how awful it was to grow old.
I remember telling hubby, as we drove home, “be prepared, there might be an outbreak of suicides after that sermon.”
Sitting here in the mid-stage of life (obviously I am counting on more than the average number of years of life) I feel as though his approach was far too ‘cup half full’ for me.
Not everything about the process of moving on in time is bad.
vision changes mean we get to try out trendy eyeglass frames
graying hair means we can be a blond one month, followed by a brunette the next, followed by a redhead the next … or let it all gray and look like the wisest person in the room!
awakening in the night can be an opportunity to pray for those in our lives … or to try every pharmaceutical on the shelves
skin thinning … heck, that means it will get smoother!
I believe in purpose until our dying breath. I believe value is not determined by our productivity but by who give us the ability to produce.
“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he,
I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”
Isaiah 46:4
How is it that you can ‘think’ you have read the entire Bible, and yet new things, information, history and wisdom seem to appear before your eyes on a regular basis?
That is how it was for me, just this weekend, with Romans 9:25 :
“I’ll call nobodies and make them somebodies; I’ll call the unloved and make them beloved.“
I am certain that this verse had never before been encountered by my eyes, my heart.
The words are ones spoken as an act of adoption by the god of the Jews, Yahweh. The Jews, always known as “my people” by their God, now had to share their God with the Gentiles. In these words the Gentiles have gone from unloved to beloved.
Our world is full of individuals who believe that they are nobodies, unloved. Perhaps they have even been told that by people who have authority over them, their teacher, their boss, their spouse, their mother, their father. But, God, the Creator of the world, has His arms wide opened, and ready to welcome all as His beloved.
But, Yahweh is not a forceful God. He will not force us to return His love …
we simply need to say, “You are my God.“
“I will say to those called ‘Not my people,’ ‘You are my people’; and they will say, ‘You are my God.“
Hosea 2:23
This past weekend, with hubby out of town and my son at camp, I got to spend more time with my daughters.
I just love my daughters!
They give me flashbacks to my own growing up from adolescent changes, to emotional outbursts, to struggles with appearance, to the joys of learning and doing new things.
For whatever reason I never expected that we would have daughters, so to have started our family with two daughters was a delightful surprise for this mom.
Although I loved them from the moment I first knew they were growing and developing in my womb, my most delightful years with them, so far, have been their teen years. I love being able to walk with them through the minefield of maturation, and I have learned so much from them in this phase of life.
Those teen years are also fear-filled ones for parents of girls … ask any father!
As they mature and grow they also become increasingly vulnerable to heartaches, abuses and violence.
Protector becomes our most instinctual role in these years.
In the past week, my
mother heart
has been breaking …
Almost three hundred,
3oo,
300
teen girls were snatched under the dark of night, and taken away from their school … the place that was to help give them a future.
I am no political expert, not a scholar, not knowledgeable about the clash of cultures in Nigeria, but
I am a mom
of a teenage daughter
and I cannot fathom what the moms of these daughters are going through, are thinking …
But, I know this
I would be asking
how can this happen?
what is she going through?
how can she, they, be gone almost two weeks …
and no one knows where she is?
and no one seems to be looking for her?
I’d be crying out to the world, saying what if she was your daughter?
“It would be sad if we lost our instinct and our courage to love and protect.”
Emeli Sande
With hubby out of town, my son off at camp, and my younger daughter at work, I got to spend my Saturday morning with my oldest daughter.
It was a time together as it often is … she, a Psychology major, and myself, her Psychological guinea pig mom who lives (academically) vicariously through her. According to Myers Briggs we are personality twins, sporting INFJ (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging). This personality similarity gives us connection, and due to it, there is nothing more normal for the two of us than to problem-solve life together.
And that is what we did this past Saturday morning.It was then, yesterday morning, that she shared a video with me, that I have chosen to share as my guest post today.
The following video (cleverly animated) features the voice of Dr. Brené Brown.
According to Wikipedia, Ms. Brown’s “… research focuses on authentic leadership and wholeheartedness in families, schools, and organizations.“ Her 2010 TED talk The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the twenty most watched TED talks, with over 15 million views (and I highly recommend it, as I am listening to it while I type)!
This video is short, sweet and it will help us, whatever Myers Briggs personality we are, to connect with others.
“What makes something better is connection.”
Dr. Brené Brown
As the daylight hours increase it seems as though energies also increase.
The bluer skies, the brighter sun, the warmth from the Earth, and the blossoming and flowering on the ground and in the trees does such good things for our mood.
Spring is the season of being Recharged , refreshed and renewed. It is the post, Recharged, that was the most viewed post of this past week.
There was a moment this school year, while sitting across the table from a student, when I heard the words that I hear at least once every year, the words which tear at my heart and my soul,
“my parents are divorced, and that makes me very sad.”
How am I supposed to assist with math, or language or science or any other subject, when their very own history has been altered …
and they know it!
Every year that I have worked in schools, I have encountered similar disclosures, similar expressions of loss and sadness … and I come away from those conversations determined to stay married, even when it’s difficult … and some days,
it’s difficult.
I heard it once, and shared it many more times that,
when I cannot love my husband
I choose to love the father of my children.
I heard of a movie releasing (in the US) next week. The movie is called
Irreplaceable
and it is a documentary that asks “What is family?” and “Does ‘family’ still matter in today’s society?” Questions that we need answers to, in this world where marriage is constantly being re-defined as well as devalued.
Many sociologists believe that the family is a microcosm of society, that if the family unit is healthy, respected, respectful, and if the vows of the wedding day are honored … society too will be healthy, respected, respectful, and promises will be honored.
I am not totally sure what the movie, Irreplaceable, will reveal, but I’m going to be so bold as to state my own opinion …
the institution of marriage (and, conversely, family) is in deep trouble for one reason, and one alone,
our promises to love, to honor, to respect each other, and to do it all ’til death do us part,
Last night I took hubby to the airport, and he flew off to a professional development conference where he will be “recharged, refreshed and renewed.”
Who couldn’t use a conference like that?!
I know the names of many of those who will be leading and speaking at this conference, and they are good!
They will remind him why he entered the field that he is in, well over twenty-five years ago.
They will introduce new findings and information that will alter his professional trajectory.
Their words will build his belief that change can occur.
They will touch his heart, and he may even return home with a new vision.
Hubby will be encouraged, educated and excited to return to his job, energized by being in an environment of specialists in his field.
And I am … jealous.
I went on the website of the conference when I got home, and checked out the event … feeling the rise of the green-eyed monster within my being. While searching around I heard the following:
“… important thing about you,
your marriage,
your family,
your future,
your ministry,
your impact
is
are your spiritual batteries re-charged?”
And I thought,
I could use a re-charge! Who couldn’t use a power up? I wish it was me.
(can you hear the pouting?)
Then I thought about hubby,
and this is so what he needs,
and this conference is so unlike any he has attended for SUCH a very long time,
and I realized it’s really okay that he gets the
“recharge, refresh and renew” that the website advertises.
And it’s even okay that I do not,
because this event, and his uncharacteristic choice to go,
is a
“for such a time as this”
moment.
And I pray that he return to home, to family, to church, and to ministry fully charged, refreshed and renewed and ready for whatever may come in the next phase of life.
itsawonderfilledlife 