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Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

16 Ways I Blew My Marriage

Posted in Guest Post, Marriage, WONDER, tagged 16 Ways I Blew my Marriage, brain break, Dan Pearce, Divorce, guest post, Marriage, Mistakes, Single Dad Laughing on November 25, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I have been on a bit of a marriage roll lately, and the more I am researching for one post, the more interesting information and blogs I have been encountering.

The guest post of today comes from a blogger who I literally happened upon by accident, while having a ‘brain break’ on Pinterest, after much marriage research, and came across a post called 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage, that I just had to open and read.

Dan Pearce is the author of the blog, Single Dad Laughing. His main subject (other than himself-the usual main topic for most of us who blog) is his son Noah, and you will see beautiful photos of the father and son pair. He has experienced marriage and divorce, and I thought his experience of both might just give those of us in the midst of the marriage minefield a fresh perspective … on the things we do (and maybe shouldn’t) and the things we do not do (and maybe should).

It is worth the read!

Carole

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What Does it Mean to Cleave to your Spouse?

Posted in Guest Post, Marriage, WONDER, tagged guest post, leave and cleave, Marriage, Rabbi Richard Bristol, research, spouse, standing strong on November 18, 2012| Leave a Comment »

As I am writing my own blog posts, I do research on the topics I am writing. Often this research leads to my discovery of other bloggers, and through this I have come to subscribe to many who I love to read regularly.

Such was the way I ‘discovered’ the guest post writer of today.

I was researching the word cleaving (a word that is rarely used today) and found a writing by Rabbi Richard Bristol, on his site Standing Strong, titled “What Does it Mean to Cleave to your Spouse?”

The site describes Standing Strong as “an Expositional Liturgical Messianic Congregation (now that is a mouthful) with an outreach to followers of the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in Israel.” I was drawn to the site even more when I read, in the statement of faith, “our goal is to enrich lives regardless of race, gender, or background.” I like that!

I was blessed by the words of Rabbi Bristol, and I hope that you will be as well.

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Time Away

Posted in life, Love, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged Alone, couple, Fatigue, get away, intimacy, Love, Marriage, oneness, responsibilities, robotic, romantic, survival mode, Time Alone on November 12, 2012| 1 Comment »

Why does a couple need to get away, alone? In this day and age, it is not like parents have to share their bedrooms, their beds with their children (well, except maybe for some parents of toddlers and preschoolers). We have locks on our bedroom doors, homes of great comfort, and vehicles that can get us away for a few hours at any time … any time that we are both free!

Hubby and I stole a few hours to ourselves this past weekend. He had the entire weekend booked off. Our Chinese students were planning to spend the weekend with relatives in another city, our daughter had plans to have a sleep over with a friend, and hubby was hot on a trail to find a place for our son to go.

After drop offs, errands and appointments we finally fell into our seats at the Greek restaurant we agreed to meet at for a nice, quiet dinner … for two.

And that is pretty much the only detail of our time away together that I am planning to share!

So, why does a couple need to get away, alone?

After this recent brief time away, I can answer it clearly and concisely … intimacy.

In the day to day of life with kids, pets, jobs and so many other responsibilities, survival mode is the one we stay in most of the time. Our conversations are about schedules and driving and issues related to everything but our relationship with each other. Our physical intimacy boils down to a quick kiss on the cheek and need meeting. Our ability to love the other with adoration, respect and desire is hindered by bills, fatigue and interruptions.

Basically we forget why we got together in the first place, while we are in a relationship that can begin to look more robotic than romantic.

After a few hours alone together, our conversations become more deep, more personal, more intimate. We are free to venture into areas such as dreams and fears. We are free to be just one couple, not parents, employees, bill payers, laundry doers, kid drivers, football coaches … just ONE couple.

And in having the opportunity to be alone reminds us of the intimate oneness that was all part of the plan from the beginning, that the two would become one. Not one parent unit, not one property management, social committee, corporation, but one couple.

To miss out on this opportunity of intimate oneness would be a great loss.

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Celebration from Two Sides

Posted in FAMILY, life, Marriage, The Hubby, WONDER, tagged adjustments, blending of families, celebrations, First Christmas, Habits, Hubby, leaving and cleaving, Mark 10:7-8, Marriage, new normal, normal, rituals, Traditions on November 6, 2012| 1 Comment »

Back when hubby and I were first married (in the stone ages), there was so much to adjust to in coming together into a new life.

Trying to blend two unique lives, experiences and upbringings is no small thing, and not at all easy. When this blending is in the initial stages the others family, habits and rituals seem nothing short of strange, because we humanly always think that our own existence is the ‘normal’ one (thus the others is abnormal).

Recently, when hubby and I were celebrating our anniversary, we were discussing the different things we each had to adjust to when our separate families were joined through our marriage.

One thing that stuck out, as contrasting was how our separate families would celebrate events, occasions and events.

My family celebrates EVERYTHING! Christmas, Easter, birthdays, graduations, moving away, etc., etc., etc. The celebrations would include not just our immediate family, but extended as well. Frequently including grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. There was always food in abundance, always a cake.

My exposure to my hubby’s family, in terms of celebrations was different (remember these are just my interpretations, not necessarily those of my hubby’s experience growing up). Celebrations also included food. For birthdays the celebrations would take place at a restaurant, including the immediate family. At Christmas a meal was prepared, and shared by a few more family members. Celebrations were smaller and quieter.

From my perspective (due to my ‘other end of the spectrum’ experience) there was no celebration. I remember our first married Christmas, when the gifts under the tree were still unopened when we went to bed on December 25, only to be eventually opened the following day.

From the perspective of my hubby (due to his ‘other end of the spectrum’ experience) there was always an over-the-top celebration, with food and gifts substituting the reason for the celebration. He still does not grasp the need, on Christmas morning, to be up at an “ungodly hour” (a tradition in the home of my childhood) to open gifts, when they will still be there hours later.

Ah, and after the recognition of these differences, and others, comes the hard work of what to keep from our childhood traditions and what to throw away.

And that is what leaving and cleaving is about. When we marry, we leave our childhood, and it’s rituals behind, and we start something new. We look at the heritage we have come from and we, together as husband and wife, decide what to keep, and what to let go of, in an effort to cleave, to become a new ‘one’.

Mark 10:7-8 says, “for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh: so that they are no more two, but one flesh.” Our goal should be that over time, the two become one, understanding that together they have created a ‘new normal’, unique to only them.

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But I Am Too Young to Have a Twenty Year Old!

Posted in FAMILY, life, Love, The Kids, WONDER, tagged a dream is a wish your heart makes, Anne of Green Gables, as it seems, Brittay, Criminal Minds, Dancing with the stars, Follow Your Heart, gilmore girls, god so loved, human, Jesus Loves Me, Just the Way You Are, Love you Forever, Music, oldest daughter, on the floor, Robert Munsch, Sixteen Going on Seventeen, soundtrack of our life, Spinnin' Around, the best day, the hockey song, titanic theme, too young, what a wonderful world, You're Beautiful on October 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Today our first born turns twenty! Seriously, I am too young to have a twenty year old!

As her birthday was approaching, my mind has been occupied with thoughts of what to ‘get’ her for her special day. She is on the East Coast, and I on the West, and so whatever I was to get had to be light (and therefore cheap) to send in the mail.

I also was thinking about how we often give the gifts to others, that we wish to be given to us. So, I pondered what my daughter has given me over the years, and that was the key to one of her gifts. Every year she makes a CD of music I love (or music she thinks I should love) for me, and it is simply a perfect gift for me. I love the mystery of hearing what songs she chooses for me, and it is the gift that keeps on giving all year long.

And so, this is my CD to her.

The first song I can remember sharing with you would be Jesus Loves Me. It is the song that each of you kids learned, and hearing that innocent, joyful singing of such profound truth is what I pray is permanently imprinted into your mind, and onto your heart.

Thanks also to Robert Munch, and his book by the same name as the song; love you forever . It was a book that we shared snuggling in bed in the mornings, over mac and cheese, at lunchtime, or at the end of the day, with the scent of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo drifting through the air.

We cannot forget those YEARS of watching many various musical movies, the most memorable would have to be Follow Your Heart from Thumbelina. Oh how the songs of that movie played over and over in my head, day after day, and week after week. Having just listened to it again, I am reminded that it’s message was and is still a good one!

The preteen years continued with the musicals, but none could compare with Anne of Green Gables to give us “lots of scope for the imagination.” But not every song was from a musical … Oh how I remember the song that gave us all “a funny feeling” by that group called Jump 5, Spinnin’ Around. Your dad even drove you two hours from home to attend a concert … now that’s love (and beautiful memories I am sure)!

Into your teen years, the musicals continued, with The Sound of Music being a favorite, and within it’s soundtrack, what teen girl would not want to sing along to Sixteen Going on Seventeen? I think it was sung as much by me as you!

But your teen years were not only about classic movies! A favorite for years was that James Blunt classic, You’re Beautiful. I, who never win anything, was even so lucky to win two tickets to his concert, and off we went, together (one of my favorite memories of us two). This song, I would say was the theme song for you and I during those later teen years. One of my best memories (of parental embarrassment for the laughter of my child) was standing on our front lawn singing it to you, from the top of my lungs. And, my dear, you know only too well that my public singing should be relegated to large crowds only.

And this would not be complete with the Criminal Minds Theme our TV show still (well, when I can stay awake to watch it). That show has provided the foundation of so many great conversations. And of course, the one we do not share, but when I hear it I think of you (and your best friend), Dancing With The Stars.

The most recent addition to our musical history together relates to this season you are now in, and the adventure you are now on. The message of As It Seems is the same as it was a few weeks ago, maybe with even more significance …

There are so many more, and I’ve included a few at the bottom, you know the stories behind them all. These, my adult daughter, are from the Soundtrack of our life together … I think we make beautiful music.

You’re beautiful, it’s true!

Mom

What a Wonderful World

God So Loved

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

An Education from Tanushree

Posted in life, Love, Marriage, WONDER, tagged deceit, fraud, India, Love, Marriage, NRI Marriages, prearranged marriages, Privypeeps, sinless, Tanushree, Women on September 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

A few weeks back I read a blog by a fantastic blogger from India, named Tanushree.

Tanushree introduces me to her culture with each and every of her posts. She writes creatively and passionately, and simply for the joy of getting her thoughts out and onto the screen.

In the post that I have linked from here Tanushree weaves a tale that represents the real experiences of some women in India. A man from another country comes a calling. A marriage is arranged by his and her families, and then … well you need to read the entire story for the end to be revealed.

Sinless

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Peaceful Wife

Posted in Marriage, women, tagged April Cassidy, Encouragement, Marriage, peacefulwife, wife on August 12, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I read many different blogs each week, and have been enriched by many. Although I subscribe to many blogs, I do not read them all (I do have a life), nor do I agree all the time with the ones I subscribe to. Heck, sometimes when I re-read my own I do not agree with what I have written!

Today I wanted to share with you readers a lady, by the name of April Cassidy, whose blog I am subscribed to.

She is a woman on a mission to encourage women in marriage.

This particular post was so beautiful to me, and I believe that the words of her prayer can enrich and encourage all wives. After all, in the words of a sweet young woman only two years into marriage, “marriage is hard! And I am married to someone who is such a great husband. But it is so hard.”

Just click the link below. I hope this encourages you married women out there.

Peaceful Wife

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Love Stories to Make you Smile

Posted in life, Love, WONDER, tagged 60 love stories to make you smile, Encouragement, Hope, Life, love stories, photo, Pinterest, tissues on August 3, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It all started with a picture …

As I was perusing the website Pinterest, the photo to the right popped up, and it just made me smile. I admit, the romantic in me loves pictures of older couples showing outward signs of affection. For me I feel a sense of hope, an understanding of the finish line that I hope to one day cross with the hubby.

So, I clicked on the picture, and found that it led me to a website with “60 Tiny Love Stories to Make You Smile“.

I thought I would only read one or two, but I quickly got hooked, and read them all. They are amazing!

Since it is Friday, I thought we could all use a smile, encouragement, something to make us feel that there is hope and love in our world, to start our weekend.

But, be warned, tissues will be needed.

Carole

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50 Years of Marriage

Posted in life, Love, Marriage, WONDER, tagged 50th anniversary, Anniversary, celebrations, celebrity, committed, couple, devoted, Divorce, Hollywood, Joanne Woodward, Marriage, Paul Newman on August 1, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It all started with a picture …

The picture to the right of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. I saw it, and then read the caption at the bottom, “married 50 years.” I found myself wondering, how can that happen to a Hollywood couple?

Since hubby is a pastor, we get to attend MANY 50th Anniversary parties, and they are truly the highlight of the effects of his job for me.

To participate in celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary is a unique and special thing.

When I hear of couples divorcing, I wonder how many of these celebrations will be happening in the future. Oh, but what celebrations they will be, as they will be a truly rare and special event!

Although Mr. Newman died later in the year of their 50th anniversary, the legacy of their long lasting, committed love in a world that sees that as impossible can continue to encourage those of us who are still in process.

When asked the secret to their long & happy marriage, Paul attributed it to the “correct amounts of lust and respect.” And “. . . because of great impatience tempered by patience. When you have been together this long, sometimes you drive each other nuts, but underneath that is some core of affection and respect.”

It is a great read, accompanied by beautiful pictures.

Paul and Joanne

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A Heart-Shaped Meadow

Posted in life, Love, Marriage, Nature/Creation, WONDER, tagged devoted, England, heart-shaped field, Janet and Winston Howes, Legacy, Life, Love, Marriage, oaks, planted, South Gloucestershire, Wickwar on July 31, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It all started with a picture …

That is how my interest in this story began, with a simple picture, and a short story.

The story is a love story. It is one that makes you say “awwww …” when it is over. It is one that makes you have hope in love, and in the institution of marriage. It is one that could become a Nicholas Sparks novel. It is one that makes women wonder, “would I ever be loved and missed that much.”

This is the story of a couple married over thirty years, that quickly ended by death of the wife, Janet. Her heart-broken husband, Winston … well, how about you just go ahead and read the attached article.

Heart Shaped Legacy

It is a worthwhile read!

Carole

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